Midday Palate Cleanser

To Get To The Other Side!

(It was a jerk move, but I still love duckies. I would have been Squee’ing IRL if I were in that car!)

Posted in Birds Are Jerks, Palate Cleansers | 5 Comments

‘Stupid-size It,’ Stupid Said

I Hope This Is Comrade Trump’s Official Portrait

McDonald’s Quarter Pounders, fries and Domino’s pizza stank-up the White House yesterday as Prznint McCheese saluted the Clemson Tigers for winning the college football championship. Comrade Prznint said he paid for the meal hisself because much of the staff in the White House residence has been furloughed. And note that he didn’t spring for a Coke fountain, so I guess he’s never been to a Bar Mitzvah?

“We have some very large people that like eating, so I think we’re going to have a little fun.”

Note that he has the staff divide-up the fries and put them into little cups with the Prznintial seal (Axios)

which led to…

So, you know, cold, fast-food that’s been handled. And you better believe he hauled any leftovers ups to the Lincoln Bedroom to enjoy while watching Hannity.

Posted in Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper | 36 Comments

Comrade Prznint Reveals 5-Year Agricultural Reform (The Shut-Show, Cont.)

Old Comrade Trump Had A Collective, e-i-e-i-ouch
(Spin – click for more details on this image)

The gubmint lockout is now well into its fourth week, and has left farmers unable to get loans and subsidies:

“For many farmers, the trade tension especially with China has meant unpredictability, lost market share and lower prices for their products, while the shutdown has left some growers unable to get loans and subsidies essential for the looming season. The Agriculture Department is among the agencies shut down, its annual funding hostage to the standoff over the $5.7 billion Trump wants for a wall.”

But the shut-down and the trade war with China do not appear to have shaken the faith among Possum Hollar at the American Farm Bureau Federation’s annual meeting, where Comrade Prznint was warmly received as he counseled for patience:

“We’re doing trade deals that are going to get you so much business, you won’t believe it.”

I don’t believe it.

These morons are enthusiastically supporting him as he destroys US Agriculture.

Comrade Stupid has lost the soybean market to Brazil to such a degree that we are now selling our soybeans (at a loss) to Brazille to make up for their own deficit.

Posted in Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, Trade Wars | 12 Comments

Why Are The Dogs STILL Barking?

White nationalist Steven ‘Cantaloupe Calves’ King

On Monday, the House Republicans stripped Rep. Steve King (R-IA) of his committee assignments. Today, the entire House will vote on a resolution expressing formal disapproval with King’s racist remarks in a recent New York Times interview. Note that they have not expelled King, just wrist-slapped him.

So what took them so long, and when will they slap Hair Füror’s wrist?


King drew attention to a unique GOP problem: racism is part of their brand. Resist the temptation to congratulate them; this is just window dressing at best.



Posted in racism, White Punks on Dope | 7 Comments

Doing Putin’s Bidding?

His Master’s Voice
(Hat tip: @pacelatin)

“Trump Discussed Pulling U.S. From NATO, Aides Say Amid New Concerns Over Russia”

“There are few things that President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia desires more than the weakening of NATO, the military alliance among the United States, Europe and Canada that has deterred Soviet and Russian aggression for 70 years. Last year, President Trump suggested a move tantamount to destroying NATO: the withdrawal of the United States. Senior administration officials told The New York Times that several times over the course of 2018, Mr. Trump privately said he wanted to withdraw from the North Atlantic Treaty Organization.

“Current and former officials who support the alliance said they feared Mr. Trump could return to his threat as allied military spending continued to lag behind the goals the president had set. In the days around a tumultuous NATO summit meeting last summer, they said, Mr. Trump told his top national security officials that he did not see the point of the military alliance, which he presented as a drain on the United States.”

Jeebus, is anyone still doubting that Putin has great Kompromat on this stooge?

Posted in 4th Reich, Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper | 5 Comments

A Closer Look

I think this is both very funny and very insightful.

Posted in Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, Little-Kremlin-on-the-Potomac | 4 Comments

Bad Signs, Cont.

Oh that’s gonna leave a mark.

Posted in Bad Signs, Kellyanne 'Bullshit Barbie' Conway | 1 Comment

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs


Our favorite fired theocratic PE teacher, Coach Dave, explains to us why there ain’t no homo in a football locker room. It has sumpin’ to do with intimacy and getting each other’s backs and laying and other stuff. HAWT!!1!

Posted in Coach Dave, Electrocute-the-Gay-Kids Therapy, Homophobia, The Closet of Lindsey Graham, Theocrats | 4 Comments

Nation Mourns: Ivanka Doesn’t Get Rumored World Bank Job

Blow is an expression Ivanka.


“President Donald Trump’s daughter and adviser will work with Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin and Acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney to nominate a successor to outgoing World Bank President Jim Yong Kim, spokeswoman Jessica Ditto said in a statement. The World Bank board traditionally accepts the U.S. nominee for the position.

“Ivanka Trump isn’t under consideration for the job, Ditto said, calling reports that she’s a contender “false.” She has been involved in World Bank initiatives on women’s economic development and has worked closely with the bank’s leadership over the past two years, which is why she’s working on the nomination, Ditto said.”

“We couldn’t afford her,” Ditto didn’t say, “even though she offered to be let into the vaults with an Ivanka Trump brand bag for just half an hour a year. You know, as compensation.”

Ivanka will have to go back to her core competency of Instagramming herself in serene white spaces, looking thoughtfully out the window while holding a blank sheet of paper, a white coffee mug steaming nearby.

Posted in Ivanka-ka, The First Shady | 4 Comments

The Shut-Show, Day 24

I missed this last Friday – my bad! White House economic adviser Kevin Hassett:

“Right now, about 25 percent of government workers are furloughed, which means that they are not allowed to go to work. But then when the shutdown ends, they go back to work, and they get their back pay. A huge share of government workers were going to take vacation days, say between Christmas and New Year’s. And then we have a shutdown, and so they can’t go to work. So then they have the vacation, but they don’t have to use their vacation days. And then they come back, and they get their back pay. Then in some sense, they’re better off.

Throughout the longest shutdown/lockout in US History, the federal government has offered a variety of idiotic tips to help 800,00 or so workers cope  without a paycheck.

Among the Suze Orman rejected tips:

  • hold a garage sale
  • become a secret shopper for a soon-to-be-dead department store
  • turn your hobby into income (hello Etsy!)
  • offer to “trade services” for rent (HUBBA-HUBBA!!!)
  • declare bankruptcy
  • and now, think of it as a free vacation

They left out not buying the daily Starbucks, but other than that they are treating the furloughed workers pretty much the same way that they treat Millennials.

Posted in 4th Reich | 7 Comments