Area Man Hired By Father

H/T Scissorhead Dennis Cole

In a move that should shock no one, nepotism enthusiast Lord Damp Nut has hired one of his idiot children —I should be specific here, Junior Mints— to be an advisor:

Donald Trump Jr. takes on new role as top adviser inside the Trump family

Former President Donald Trump has elevated his son Donald Trump Jr. to an unofficial new role inside his orbit as he weighs the idea of a comeback presidential bid in 2024 that would require him to maintain a vise grip on the Republican base for any chance of success.

Behind the scenes, Trump’s eldest son has emerged as one of the former president’s chief political advisers, according to multiple sources who are close to Trump or involved with his political operation. Like his brother-in-law Jared Kushner, who spent much of the last four years attempting to steer the Trump show from inside the West Wing, Trump Jr. has been working closely with his father’s team to ensure the next iteration of the 45th President’s political career is running smoothly and that his father is endorsing reliably conservative candidates.

Junior Mints has never worked outside of  the Trump Crime Family. We’re wondering what he and Twizzler will do once Daddy Dearest goes to the Great Grease Fire.

Hilarity ensues. “Exit stage, pursued by a bear,” comes to mind.

Posted in Junior Mints, Trump Crime Family | 7 Comments

A Toast To A Life Well-Lived: Scissorhead Dennis Cole

Dennis Cole two years ago…

Scissorheads,

As you know we Irish have a different perspective on Death. We know we will go to the Good Place and it is the good place because there won’t be any English* there, or so me blessed Irish Dad used to say.

And that’s why we have wakes: because were happy that the deceased got away from the English*.  [“The lucky bastards” – me Irish Dad, again.]

We Irish love a good party, too, and Dennis would be mad as all hell to miss his own wake, so he decided to hold it while he is still with us, above ground.  

Dennis came roaring into MPS like Steve McQueen in a Mustang in SF, revving with comments profound, profane and funny. His spitballs were high octane, fast & furious, and if I can think of another car metaphor Id include it. But the point is, this Scissorhead was running on all cylinders. DC (the Meme KING! and Pun-Dit) will be missed.

What follows is from Dennis and reflects what he wants us to know.

We will be keeping this post up on top this week to make sure all the Scissorheads get the news and have a chance to say goodbye in the comments. 

Be sure to hoist the beverage of your choice and toast our friend on his journey away from the English*.

Regards,

Tengrain

*  I suggest substituting “Republican” for “English,” but you do you.


My Fellow Scissorheads:

The time has come to speak of things; of ceiling wax and the Estate Tax, of being lax, unlike birds on the wing. Of speaking out, instead of just peeking out, to see if the coast is clear.

Of standing up, and shouting loudly, proclaim who you are, and say so proudly. Of chicken bones, and sacred stones, and coins that won’t get tossed. But never fear, for Karma’s here, our causes must surely not be lost.

Folks, the sad fact of the matter is I’m finally dying. As in, the final stages of my CHF – Congestive Heart Failure. MY EF (Ejection fraction, that final strong pulse of the L Ventricle to send the blood that nourishes my organs, and keep them supplied with enough oxygen, is down to 20% or so, and I’m undergoing what they say is “Cascading Organ Failure.” My kidneys are at Stage 3, which means if I drop into Stage 4, I will need regular Dialysis treatments, and I only have about a half a liver these days, although my spleen and pancreas seem to be holding in there OK.

The Hospice organization I chose has done remarkable, extraordinary things, and they seem to make shit happen with just a phone call to get a Dr’s OK, and then to place the order, and have it arrive only a coupla hours later

And I have no expected day to die, they can’t pin it down, so they have to rely on past instances, since everyone’s different. All they can go by are my current symptoms, compared to what previous patients have gone thru, and they estimated I had 6 months left back on Feb 25th. So, I just wanted to say it’s not quite a final farewell, but it’s imminent. One day, in the next 6 months or so, I’ll just drop off of your screens, never to be heard from again, so this way, you’ll know what happened to me, and why.

And I must say it’s been an honor and a privilege to be amongst such folks as think alike, and much as I do. It’s been a pleasure, and we don’t all get along all the time but we keep it civilized.

Which brings up Facebook. I know how most of you feel about FB, but it’s mostly due to bad experiences with unwelcome strangers; coz if you got disgusted by some of your friend’s bad behavior, that has rarely happened to me, and I’ve gotten a lot of enjoyment out of daily use. I have a very select group of friends, and we all share common interests, much like here, on MPS.

I have used it to connect with old friends, as well as make new ones; I belong to a chat room adminned by a polymath in Sweden, I’m friends with a neurologist in Hong Kong, and I have friends in Australia the UK, Ireland and Scotland – all over the world.

What I do mainly is just post political ‘toons and memes, or just plain witty stuff, and I borrow heavily from Scottie’s daily morning ‘toon-fest, along with other boggers and blogesses, and from my own subscriptions.

And without FB, I would never have been able to create something by collaborating with some dude, who requested my friendship a coupla years back. I checked out HIS Page, and was amazed by what I saw; after you watch the presentation he made for me, in only a day-and-a-half*, I’d urge you to check his Home Page out. It’s NOT on FB, he has his own website, so hear goes: (pun intended.)

DENNIS COLE’S SONG

Click the image to go to the post and hear the song.

Nobody knows da troubles I’ve seen,
And nobody’s seen the bad places I’ve been;
Done lived me a lifetime of fool’ry and sin,
Now look at the trouble I’m in.Now that you know the trouble I’m in,
Is there anything I’d do over again?
My life as it happened
I just can’t rearrange
But there’s nothing that I would changeAnd nobody knows the beauty I’ve seen:
Sunrise and sunsets, and what’s in between;       
Storm clouds or stars, all thru the nite
But so often in them I took no delight.
 
Nobody knows da troubles I’ve seen,
And nobody’s seen the bad places I’ve been;
Done lived me a lifetime of fool’ry and sin,
Now look at the trouble I’m in.

Once again, it’s been maaaahhvelous, dollinks. I’m totally at peace, I’m all but ready to go, after 25 years of Chronic Pain that could only be marginally reduced with the use of the strongest opioids they could render, which was never enough to actually eliminate the pain, or get it down to under 5 on the Pain Scale of 1 – 10, with one being lowest.
Now that I’m under Hospice Care, they WANT me doped up sufficiently enough to reduce the level down that low, while monitoring me, to ensure I can still function. The next increase they give me will mean surrendering my driver’s license, but by then my son will be taking the Family Medical leave from his job, to spend more time with me, because I will be good & doped up – at least as much as I wanna be, because my tolerances have built up to such high levels that they’re going to have to make a double-strength formula of the drugs they give me to end my life.

It’s NOT considered suicide, it’s a humane way out of a life filled with pain, that’s only going to get worse. I DON’T want to get so bad they put me in a Senior Home, or warehouse me in an Assisted Living Center, because I won’t be able to invoke my right to ease out, and I would have to check out, and get checked into a motel, to complete the process.

I’ve lived a pretty full life in 67 years; I did the kind of work I loved – home building & remodeling, mostly for the instant gratification, of seeing a project come to fruition via the use of my own hands, and the knowledge I gained in the 35 yrs or so I worked in that occupation. It was dirty, hard, sweaty work but I loved it!

Hoping the door don’t slap my ass too hard, I remain forever an incorrigible spitballer, and a proud member of MPS.

Over and out, keep calm, carry on, and remain wary, and hoist one in my memory, if you care to…

Dennis Cole

…and Dennis Cole today.

Posted in Goodbye, Scissorheads Rule | 48 Comments

Great Signs, Cont.

H/T Scissorhead @NamelessCynic on the electrical twitter machine

Word.

Posted in Great Signs, Pandemics, Wash Yo Hands Fools | 7 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News

Sweet, sweet relief

Why? Sweet Baby Jeebus with an iPhone, WHY?!

Apple to let Parler back onto App Store

Apple will let Parler, a social media app popular with conservatives, back onto the App Store after Parler made attempts to improve its speech detection and moderation.

What’s happening: Parler is getting access to Apple’s massive App Store again after being suspended for inadequate hate speech policies following the January 6 Capitol riot, according to a letter Apple sent to Congress Monday.

Why it matters: Getting back on the App Store is a major win for conservatives and Parler, who had accused Apple of silencing them.

Imma guess it is this idea that Apple silenced conservatives that put Tim Cook’s panties in a bunch.

  • On Wednesday, Apple will testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee about competition in app stores.

BOOM! Now Cook is expecting an easier time at the hearing.

What they’re saying: Apple’s letter tells Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) and Rep. Ken Buck (R-Colo.) that Parler proposed updates to its content moderation practices, and Apple told Parler on April 14 its changes were enough to get back on the App Store.

  • “Huge win for free speech,” Buck tweeted.

There it is. That’s what Cook bought.

Posted in Apple, First Amendment, Technology | 8 Comments

My Week on Crooks and Liars

I keep saying this: Crooks and Liars does not have to give up their HUGE platform to wee lowly bloggers, but they do and they are to be commended for it. It’s a testimonial to the old internet that they still give a hand-up and encourage a diversity of voices. And it is an honor that they trust me to curate a weeks worth of links, too. Also.

As regular readers know, I try to amplify single-shingle cool cats and kittens whenever possible, and even a few Scissorheads!

[Side Note: I was trying something new this week – each day I wanted to cover one topic from different bloggers to see what perspectives they bring to the table on that given topic; sort of academic and nerdy, but that’s how I roll when I want to understand something; research, baby!]

(If you click on the day of the week, it will take you to the post live on Crooks and Liars)


Monday

Good morning! Pour yourself a strong cuppa Joe because it’s Infrastructure Week —we mean that in a good way— and The Former Guy attacked the GOP at [checks notes] a RNC-Donor Meeting, and our bloggers tell us in so many ways that the world has gone wacko and it is only Monday! We are not half-hearted.

Big Bad Bald Bastard gives us some advice that I wish we had taken.

The Mahablog says that the GOP has declared war on business owners.

The Carpentariat presents a new target in our (cancel) culture wars!

Bonus Track: Because we’re all about culture, The Louvre Museum has digitized the entire collection and put it on line for our quarantine viewing pleasure.


Tuesday

I’ve read that America is returning to normal, and by that I mean we’re already having mass shootings. Today, we look at gun violence. Because we have to.

Annie Asks You reminds us that gun violence is a public health threat. She’s right, of course.

The Rational Optimist says that gun violence proves that the Republicans are soft on crime.

In Saner Thought shouts that no one is coming for your guns.

We cannot talk about gun violence without looking at our boys in blue, according to eVille Times, and sadly that’s true.

Bonus Track: on a lighter note Open Culture invites us to a 7-decade Dance Party!


Wednesday

With Georgia Republicans trying their damnedest to suppress Black Americans from voting, our bloggers today look for Jim Crow and find him alive and well.

The Debate Link pities The National Review for having to justify their positions.

Lawyers, Guns & Money looks at The National Review’s history: Jim Crow was too democratic.

The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser reports on the intersection of religion in America and Jim Crow.

Stinque is amazed that 200 years later, American democracy remains so dangerous… for some.

Bonus Track: Amusing Planet details how scientist are studying rubber duckies lost at sea in 1992. There’s a lot to learn!


Thursday

There’s no question that our failed political press botched the J&J vaccine pause story. Subsequently the media doubled-down by speculating that the J&J news would make more Americans not want to get vaccinated, and lo! They were right: people are more hesitant to get vaccinated. The media says it is only asking the questions, y’all, but I think as usual they are driving the narrative. Our bloggers today look at the story from all sides. Roll-up your sleeves!

One Foot Tsunami looks at the Risk-Reward Calculus of the J&J vaccine.

Mike the Mad Biologist is horrified that so many state governments just gave up trying to stop the virus.

Strangely Blogged wants to find a cure for the phrase “abundance of caution.”

Hopes & Fears notes that —of course!— Tucker Carlson went full Tinfoil Hat. Because there is nothing that man cannot make worse.

Bonus Track: NotionsCapitol proves to us that the Pandemic was good for graphic design: ‘Six Feet Apart Please.’


Friday

20 years of should-we-stay-or-should-we go, President Biden is getting us out of the endless Afghanistan war. A generation of bloggers started during Dubya’s Great Adventure, and seeing it declared over is both long-overdue and anticlimactic at the same time. Today, our bloggers bring us some perspective.

Bark Bark Woof Woof says that America always sticks with bad policy because victory is always in sight.

Just Above Sunset reminds us that pointless wars always are lost.

gregsfallis says, forget it, Joe, it’s Afghanistan.

Claytoons bids Afghanistan goodbye.

Bonus Track: Because it is a Friday we thought tonight you could use some AI-generated pick-up lines.


Saturday

Back in January, President Biden promised to create a commission to study reforms to the SCOTUS, and lo! —via executive order— last week he created a commission to study possible Supreme Court reforms. This week, the Democrats in Congress released a bill that would increase the seats on the Supreme Court from nine to thirteen. Today our bloggers look are right-sizing the GOP-packed court.

Zandar Versus The Stupid says “Nine Will Get You Thirteen, Supremely.”

Hullabaloo asserts that they stole they stole the court.

News Corpse listens to Fox News so we don’t have to.

Bonus Track: Politicians are poody heads has the last word on Tucker Carlson.


Sunday

What a week! We’ve gone from Infrastructure week, to mass shootings, to the return of Jim Crow, to our failed political press, to the end of Endless Wars, to Republicans packing the Supreme Court, and all of these stories remind us that we don’t need the GOPs’ fascist groove thang!

No More Mister Nice Blog handicaps the upcoming Georgia gubernatorial race and finds the challenger… lacking.

The Rude Pundit says that Republicans are not being subtle, and that’s a lot coming from him!

Balloon Juice proves that where’er you are around the world, you’re eff’ed if you are under conservative rule.

Bonus Track: Shower Cap sums up the week as only he can!

Thanks for letting me be a part of your week, and I hope to return again soon. Keep up the good fight, we got the fascists on the run!

Posted in blog whoring, blogging | 1 Comment

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

H/T Scissorhead D-Cap

Scissorhead D-Cap alerts us that alleged Free-Speech enthusiast Mike Lindell is learning how difficult it is to actually control free speech:

 

Posted in People Dumber than Dolphins | 5 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

Essentially Scissorhead Jimmy-T is saying we should watch more soccer.

Posted in cats, Palate Cleansers | 1 Comment

Because We Love A Good Correction

Posted in snark | 10 Comments

Wingnut Welfare Continues

Separated At Birth?

Look for bulk sales, I guess:

William Barr, Amy Coney Barrett land book deals

While some veterans of Donald Trump’s administration are having a tough time selling memoirs about their time in power, others with ties to Trump who didn’t embrace his election conspiracy theories have sold book deals.

William Barr, Trump’s former attorney general who resigned two days before Christmas after disagreeing publicly with Trump’s voter fraud conspiracy theories, recently sold a book about his time at the Justice Department, according to three people familiar with the deal.

Besides the obvious jokes about members of the 4th Reich not being literate,  who wants to read a book by a rotating cast of second-string grifters?

“It would be hard to imagine anyone on the inside offering us any wisdom, insight or even good storytelling that would educate, enrich or even entertain us at this point,” said D.C. literary agent Gail Ross. “Books are selling quite well today because they offer us those elements. I presume a couple may convince a publisher otherwise. For me, tall tales by Trump acolytes don’t cut it.”

and then this bit about wack-o Peter Navarro (the man Fratsputin found while scanning Amazon looking for a China Hawk) who often cites himself by his nom-de plume Ron Varro as an expert:

Peter Navarro, Trump’s former firebrand trade adviser, ran into roadblocks in his initial attempts to sell a book with some publishers not expressing interest in the project, according to a publishing industry insider.

“Navarro was seen as a kook before this, so it’s not as if Peter Navarro would have an easy time selling a book prior to the administration,” said a different publishing source. Navarro wrote 13 books before his time at the White House, even using a fictional expert named Ron Vara in five of them.

Needless to say, I cannot imagine reading either Low Barr or Coathangers’ works, and I would think neither author is going to find boffo sales because 1) Hair Füror You’re Fired’ed Barr (essentially) and B) Coathangers has repeatedly let Possum Hollar down.

The remainder tables will be heavy with flops.

Posted in Justice Amy Coathanger Barrett, William 'Iran-Contra' Barr, Wingnuttia | 5 Comments

Guilfoyle: ‘$20, Same As In Town’

The Best… Is Yet… TO COME!!1!

Kimberly Guilfoyle, last seen as Junior Mints’ emotional support cougar, is branching out into other work for a different sex fiend, as the Hill tells us:

Guilfoyle named as national chair of Greitens’ Senate campaign in Missouri

Kimberly Guilfoyle, the former Fox News host and Trump campaign adviser, will serve as the national chair of Eric Greitens’s Senate campaign, a move that suggests the disgraced former Missouri governor is deepening his ties to former President Trump’s orbit.

“Governor Greitens is a fighter who has stood with President Trump and has a proven record of advancing conservative, America First policies,” Guilfoyle, who is dating Trump’s eldest son, Donald Trump Jr., said in a statement issued through Greitens’s campaign on Monday.

“I am proud to join this team as the National Chair and look forward to championing Governor Greitens’ vision throughout Missouri and around the country.”

By Greitens’ vision, I suppose Kimmy means the hot photos from Greitens sex-dungeon blackmail operation?

Interesting that Kim didn’t offer her customary lap dance as a fundraising incentive, but I suppose Greitens gets that by hiring her? Unclear! Anyway, she brings some Trump connection to Creittens Campaign, but how well she understands Possum Hollar remains to be seen. This will be a fun one to watch. I’m expecting Hindenburg fireworks.

Posted in 2022 Pie Fight, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Sex fiends, Trump Crime Family | 5 Comments