News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Hey guys, the bane of mooselimbs everywhere, hate radio host Josh Bernstein has a great idea for stopping ter-rah-ist mass killings! Let’s listen for the first minute or so:

Trucks. He wants to regulate trucks.

What about guns, Joshie-boy?


Posted in People Dumber than Dolphins, Shallow graves for shallow people, Terror! Theater, Wingnuttia | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Land of the Freak, Home of the Depraved


Hey guys, remember how Paul Ryan is always telling everyone that we don’t need to have the social safety net because charities—especially religious charities—will take care of the poors?

Guess what? They cannot do it:

When president Donald Trump unveiled his “America First” budget proposal earlier this year, conservatives such as Speaker of the House Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) heralded it as a document that “prioritizes American taxpayers over bureaucrats in Washington.”

But a new analysis from Bread for the World, a faith-based anti-hunger group, argues the budget doesn’t prioritize the poor, and will require every religious congregation in the country to raise $714,000 a year for 10 years to offset cuts to programs that aid the needy.

“There is no way our country’s 350,000 religious congregations can make up for the cuts in the services that help hungry, poor, and other vulnerable people,” Rev. David Beckmann, president of Bread for the World, said in a press release. “Congress should not justify budget cuts by saying that churches and charities can pick up the slack. They cannot.”

Now it should come as no shock to any of us that Paul Ryan would lie so easily about screwing the poor: he knows none, and never has. Despite his much quoted biography, Ryan is an heir to one of the great midwestern industrial fortunes — Ryan Industries, which built O’Hare airport and virtually every highway and road in the midwest — and he’s married to an Oklahoma oil heiress (the only child, in fact, of an oil baron). Did he use Social Security survivor benefits when his father died very young? Sure he did, he was entitled to them, but the right question should be, did he need them? No.

So don’t defend Paul Ryan when he pops the cork tonight on another $350 Pinot Noir. We give him a 6 out of 7.

Posted in Zombie-eyed Granny-starving | 1 Comment

It’s NOT Dead, Jim!

Going where no president has gone before.

Tiger Beat sends a breaking news email:

Good Thursday afternoon. SENATE HEALTH CARE BILL DEAD, FOR NOW — 4 GOP SENATORS OPPOSE — Sens. Rand Paul (Ky.), Ron Johnson (Wis.), Mike Lee (Utah) and Ted Cruz (Texas) issued a joint statement announcing their opposition: “Currently, for a variety of reasons, we are not ready to vote for this bill, but we are open to negotiation and obtaining more information before it is brought to the floor. There are provisions in this draft that represent an improvement to our current healthcare system but it does not appear this draft as written will accomplish the most important promise that we made to Americans: to repeal Obamacare and lower their healthcare costs.”

It shouldn’t surprise us. What they are really saying is that this bill is not mean enough.

Other thing/too/also: so these four guys blocked doesn’t mean that everyone else was OK with the bill. It lets them be the targets and the rest of the fascists do not have to take a public stand.

But notice who didn’t take a stand: the moderates who have been wringing their hands and rending their clothing: Collins, Murkowski, Grandpa Walnuts, and Senatorette Lindsey Graham. They get to continue their Kabuki performance until a later date when they get in line.

UPDATE 1: Not that amply be-chinned Mitch cares, but dragging people in wheelchairs away from your office is NOT a good look.

Posted in Healthcare Repeal | 3 Comments

How Time Does Fly

Seething Rage.
(image courtesy Scissorhead MonkeyFister)

Has it been a Covfefe-Unit already?!

I like the way he’s trying to pin the rumor, which he started, on illegal leakers. He keeps shooting his mouth off and consequently shooting his dick, too. This whole Obstruction investigation was one YUGE self-inflicted wound. And he continues to make it worse, bigly. Sad!

Who knows if it is true or not that he has no tapes, but he wouldn’t be making that statement if he were NOT under investigation for Obstruction of Justice. Methinks that is a tell, as the cardsharps say. Someone must have let him know that the subpoena was being written.

Posted in 4th Reich, The Russian Usurper | 7 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

Ladies and germs: the national pastime of sportsball just got my fandom:

I’d draft that dog for my team, if I had a team.

Posted in dogs, Palate Cleansers | 1 Comment

As Bees In Honey Drown

The Russian Usurper told his base of Deplorables that he doesn’t want to appoint a poor person to manage the economy, a point with which the blue collar crowd agreed.

So let’s listen as the aggrieved, forgotten, white rurals in the fly-over state of Iowa applaud the Russian Usurper as he tells them why he’s installed more alligators into The Swamp:

“I love all people, rich or poor, but in those particular positions I just don’t want a poor person. Wilbur [Ross]  is a very rich person in charge of commerce. That’s the kind of thinking we want. You know really. They’re representing the country. They don’t want the money. They’re representing the country.”


Posted in 4th Reich | 8 Comments

Wanna Super-Size Your Unemployment Numbers With That?


Here’s how you split the baby on the livable wage argument (with secret sauce):

McDonald’s hits all-time high as Wall Street cheers replacement of cashiers with kiosks

Andrew Charles from Cowen cited plans for the restaurant chain to roll out mobile ordering across 14,000 U.S. locations by the end of 2017. The technology upgrades, part of what McDonald’s calls “Experience of the Future,” includes digital ordering kiosks that will be offered in 2,500 restaurants by the end of the year and table delivery.

“Well,” J. Addington McFatcat didn’t say, “those jobs flipping burgers were never meant to be permanent jobs.”

And the kicker, of course, is that there are no replacement jobs. You can do the math here if you walk into a McDonald’s store and count the number of cashiers, multiply it by 3 (probably average number of shifts per day, and you can assume no one gets an 8-hour shift, so this is really a conservative number) and then multiply that by 14K locations. And if McDonald’s gets there first, all the other chains will follow. It’s significant.  Ayn Rand farrago-ists  Paul Ryan and Rand Paul are popping wood, probably.

For the record, I’m far from being anti-tech and far from being anti-capitalism, but I think that technology is supposed to solve real problems and enhance people’s lives. Not all automation is bad, but this automation is designed only to enhance shareholders and to hurt everyone else. Is this really a problem that needed a solution? No.

One can claim that the order will be more accurate by placing it at a kiosk, but when you open the bag and find the fish sandwich and not the chicken, you will still need to complain to the manager; it will still happen. You can tell me that placing your order from your phone on the way to the store to pick it up is convenient, but you are still going to the store where you will still wait in line. One can argue that shaving seconds off of placing an order is a benefit, but I would reply that this is a net loss if it results in so much misery. 

So when you just wanna get your high school kid off the Nintendo couch this summer, believe her/him when they tell you Micky-D is not hiring.

Posted in Ayn Rand's Grave, Feast of Saint Ronnie | 4 Comments

Drain The Swamp, Cont.

Key U.S. Banking Regulators Say They’re Ready to Roll Back Rules

Top U.S. banking regulators are sprinting to ease the Volcker Rule, stress tests and other constraints on Wall Street after the Trump administration issued a long list of proposals last week for rolling back post-crisis financial rules.

“We should assess whether we can adjust regulation in common-sense ways that will simplify rules and reduce unnecessary regulatory burden without compromising safety and soundness,” Powell said in prepared remarks for the Senate Banking Committee.

The Volker Rule, if you forgot, were part of the Dodd-Frank leglislation to help prevent another great crash like that which we suffered during Chimpy’s Reign of Error, “to restrict United States banks from making certain kinds of speculative investments that do not benefit their customers.” –In other words, don’t go gambling with other people’s money and expect to be bailed out.

This is the Swamp at its most basic, mud-level.

Posted in 4th Reich, Chimpy's Economic Disaster, The Swamp | 4 Comments

The Morning Quote

First the quote:

“No one wants to be a co-star on the reality show,” said one senior Democratic aide.

Then the context:

Be sure to click the link in the tweet and read the reply to The Russian Usurper declining the invite from the Honorable Omarosa Manigault (eff-her, she is not honorable in any sense of the word). It’s about as good a slap in the face as you can give or get. Bravo, CBC, and well-done.

Posted in 4th Reich | 2 Comments

Some Cream For Your Covfefe, Villagers?

Weaponized Pelosi

There is a faction of Dims who want to know who to blame for Jon Ossoff’s loss in Atlanta to cambion Karen Handel, in Georgia, in Noot’s old district, and spinning the old school  board game arrow have settled on Nancy Pelosi to decollate. Cherchez la Femme!

This is like blaming your dry cleaner for your car breaking down on the way to pick up your clothes.

As we discussed yesterday, Wingnuttia votes Wingnuttia, it’s an agnotology. It doesn’t matter if the candidate is a Dumpster Fire made human, if the candidate has an (R) after his/her name, that person gets the Wingnut’s vote. If the candidate has a (D) after his/her name, that person gets the Wingnut’s scorn. It is that simple.

And so when I read things like this from Mike ‘Payola’ Allen writing Axios’ morning email thingie…

Democrats’ embarrassing special-election loss in Georgia, after the vocal left fanned unrealistic expectations, provokes a wave of bitter post-gaming that targets House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi. It’s part of a generational argument that’s also driving the party’s 2020 conversation.

…it leaves both speechless and furious. Charlie Pierce at Esquire refutes this elegantly:

So you will pardon me if I’m dubious of the notion that congressional Democrats have to rid themselves of Nancy Pelosi because she was so easily demonized in that Georgia special election. If it wasn’t her, it would have been somebody else. To paraphrase the editor in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, if there’s a conflict between the person and the legend, slander the legend.

…and in the same Esquire post, Charlie cites our friend Steve M at No More Mister Nice Blog (congrats Steve!):

Steve M is right on the button here. The Republicans have one brand and one brand only: Democrats suck. The articles of their electoral faith begin and end with, how best can they piss off the liberals who rent space in their heads, and how do they convince the rubes that pissing off the liberals is an actual policy prescription to stave off the economic and cultural forces that are keeping the rubes up at night? As Steve points out, you have to dig pretty deep in today’s coverage to discover that Karen Handel has no public stance on the vastly unpopular healthcare bill, or that she has no clear opinion on giving gozillionnaires another huge tax cut. (Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know what those opinions are, too.) She ran against a caricature of a non-candidate as a nonentity and she won. Nice work if you can get it.

  • The Mercury News (San Jose), “THE PELOSI PROBLEM: Some fault minority leader for losses”:
    • “Some of the toughest ads against the 30-year-old [Georgia Dem candidate Jon] Ossoff were those tying him to Pelosi, whose approval ratings are underwater outside California.”
  • The N.Y. Times,Democrats Fume As Georgia Loss Deepens Discord,” 
    • “Representative Tim Ryan of Ohio, who tried to unseat Ms. Pelosi as House minority leader late last fall, said she remained a political millstone for Democrats. But Mr. Ryan said the Democratic brand had also become ‘toxic’ in much of the country because voters saw Democrats as ‘not being able to connect with the issues they care about.’ ‘Our brand is worse than Trump.'”

So what do we do instead: bring new people into the tent, don’t try to poach from Y’all Qaeda/The New Confederacy. And fer Blog’s Sake, shore up the people you already have:

In the South—even the “educated” suburban South of a teeming multicultural metropolis like Atlanta—racial dynamics and party dynamics overlap in inescapable ways. White people generally don’t vote for the Democratic Party in Georgia, or any other Southern state. The idea that a coalition of educated suburban whites would actually team up with black voters to send a message to Donald Trump from Georgia was a fantasy created by the blue screen and CGI of outside Democratic analysts who want a happy ending to the Trump narrative in eight months.

…This is not to suggest that African-American turnout alone would have won the Georgia 6th for the Democrats, but they spent about $25 million in that race. For that much money, they could’ve gotten one season out of LeBron James, and I’m pretty sure that’s equal to a 20 percent increase in black turnout.

…If there’s any doubt about the value of tapping into the Southern black Democratic vote, just look at what happened six hours away in the South Carolina 5th District special election, which nobody was paying any attention to. There, quietly, the Democratic Party spent only $250,000 but tested out some experimental get-out-the-vote strategies for getting out the African-American vote.

…Democrat Archie Parnell lost to Republican Ralph Norman by a mere 4 percentage points, 51 to 47 percent, in a district that went for Trump by 20 percentage points in November. What was the difference? Consistent and creative African-American turnout efforts by the Democratic candidate throughout the entire campaign led to—wait for it—incredible jumps in turnout! Politics can be a simple game when you actually target your own voters instead of someone else’s. (emphasis mine. — TG)


Posted in snark | 7 Comments