Ah, Texas!

The NRA has filed for bankruptcy and is heading for —where else?— Texas.

Posted in Crazeee States, Guns! Guns! Guns!, NRA, Texas, America's Lab for Bad Policy, wayne lapierre | 8 Comments

Vocabulary and Terms Are Important, CNN

Our gun is bigger, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

CNN tells us…

US says Capitol rioters intended to ‘capture and assassinate’ elected officials

I’m already pissed off: if they were planning on assassinating elected leaders, that is the very definition of insurrection (a violent uprising against an authority or government; usage: “the insurrection was savagely put down” | “opposition to the new regime led to armed insurrection.”) The style guide says to speak simply, clearly, and say what you mean.

But I digest, continue please:

Federal prosecutors offered the most chilling description yet of rioters who seized the Capitol last week, writing in a new court filing that the intention was “to capture and assassinate elected officials.”

The view was included in a memo seeking to keep Jacob Anthony Chansley, who rallied people inside the Capitol using a bullhorn, in detention. According to Capitol Police information included in the filing, Chansley was notable for his headdress, face paint and carrying of a six-foot spear.

“Strong evidence, including Chansley’s own words and actions at the Capitol, supports that the intent of the Capitol rioters was to capture and assassinate elected officials in the United States government,” government prosecutors wrote.

And it goes on to discuss Chansley’s self-incriminating actions/evidence:

Prosecutors describe those who took over the Capitol as “insurrectionists” and offer new details about Chansley’s role in the violent siege last week, including that after standing at the dais where Vice President Mike Pence had stood that morning, Chansley wrote a note saying “it’s only a matter of time, justice is coming.”

“Your father is a drunk and your mother is a slut, but I like you” part Chansley’s defense commences:

Chansley later told the FBI he did not mean the note as a threat but said the Vice President was a “child-trafficking traitor” and went on a long diatribe about Pence, Biden and other politicians as traitors.

But this is the bit that dumbfounded me:

Before he was arrested, Chansley told the FBI he wanted to return to Washington for the inauguration to protest.

And CNN moves on to describe the other, now household, name-brand insurrectionists.

Repeat after me, CNN: they are not rioters, and we should note that then the press calls them extremists or even Trump-loving extremists, what they need to say is “Republican Domestic Terrorists.”

Posted in CNN, Domestic Terrorism, Insurrection, Our Failed Political Press, The Stupid Coup | 11 Comments

Happy Birthday Ben Shapiro

Racist/Misogynist/Homophobe talentless l’enfant terrible is 37-years old today, and sooner or later Ben will grow up to be a real boy. But not today.

Posted in Ben Shapiro, Happy Birthday | 3 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

“Gimme some gummy worms or Imma hold my breath until I turn blue, Momma!”

Posted in Birds Are Jerks, Palate Cleansers | 3 Comments

Because We Love A Good Correction

Never mind

Posted in snark | 14 Comments

Turn, Turn, Turn

Hey, Mikey! Does your Mother know?

The WaPo tells us VP and walking termite Buffet Mike Pence was closer to becoming saw dust than we thought:

“The violent mob that stormed the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6 came perilously close to Vice President Pence, who was not evacuated from the Senate chamber for about 14 minutes after the Capitol Police reported an initial attempted breach of the complex — enough time for the marauders to rush inside the building and approach his location.

“Secret Service officers eventually spirited Pence to a room off the Senate floor with his wife and daughter after rioters began to pour into the Capitol, many loudly denouncing the vice president as a traitor as they marched through the first floor below the Senate chamber.”

But you know, it’s cool:

I’m not a theologian, but I don’t think that Bible verse (or Byrds’ verse) is used in context and I think stuff is missing.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Fran)

Posted in Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet, The Stupid Coup | 8 Comments

The Future’s So Bright, We’re Gonna Need Shades

Joe Biden
(undated file photo)

Our Pals over at Electoral-Vote give us some good news about President-elect Handsome Joe Biden’s economic plans:

It is called the “American Rescue Plan,” and it is only the first step in beating back the twin threats.

The plan has three parts:

  • $400 billion for more vaccines and testing and opening schools
  • $1 trillion for relief to families through direct payments and unemployment benefits
  • $440 billion for aid to states, local governments, and businesses

The plan includes the goal of getting 100 million people vaccinated within 100 days and reopening all K-12 schools in that same time period. The plan also includes some things that many Democrats want but which have little to do with the pandemic, such as raising the minimum wage to $15/hr. It also adds $1,400 to the direct payments Congress has already approved, bringing them to the $2,000 that Donald Trump called for, while also expanding the group of people eligible. It also provides for 14 weeks of sick leave and medical leave for workers.

The large price tag and inclusion of liberal priorities is certain to generate massive opposition from Republicans. Many Republicans have called for unity and bipartisanship and puppies and unicorns and rainbows. This puts their words to the test. If they say: “Of course we want to work together for the good of the country; if you would just carry out our program, we could achieve that,” then the President-elect knows it was all a smokescreen and they never had any intention of working with him. However, Biden also knows he can achieve most of his plan using the budget reconciliation process. Republican senators know that too, so the choice for them is to work with Biden to get his program through the Senate and get some of the credit for it or else oppose it from day 1, making it clear that they really have no interest in working with him, and then having the program rammed down their throats anyway via the reconciliation process. Logically, since they know it is going to happen with or without their help, they ought to help and get some of the credit. But politics being politics, we guess most of them will oppose the plan from the get go and force Biden to use plan B (which he is probably expecting anyway).

Axios has some more:

Public health is a centerpiece of the plan, with $160 billion earmarked for a broad range of programs, including coronavirus vaccination, testing, therapeutics, contact tracing, personal protective equipment and much more.

The overview: This bill is overwhelmingly about spending rather than taxes, although there are extensions to the child-care tax credit, the Earned Income Tax Credit and some health-care related credits.

Notably, it includes no “pay-fors.” Biden is not seeking to raise anybody’s taxes to pay for this.

  • Wages, however, are in there: The proposal includes a federal $15 minimum wage, and abolishes the lower minimum wage for people earning tips. It also includes 14 weeks of paid sick and family and medical leave.
  • Schools and transit systems get $170 billion and $20 billion respectively, after being largely left out of President Trump’s stimulus bills.
  • Spending on cyber-health is included, with $9 billion going toward beefing up the Cyber Security and Information Security Agency following the devastating Russian hack.
  • All told, the package is an implicit rebuke of the Trump administration and its otiose attitude toward pandemic response.

The bottom line: This proposal is about more than topping off the $600 stimulus checks Americans have already received with $1,400 more. It represents an unabashedly progressive agenda, centered on a strong and growing federal government.

  • If Biden succeeds in getting it passed, there’s a lot more where those ideas came from. A second part, which could be even bigger, will attempt to execute on his “Build Back Better” agenda of retooling the U.S. economy for an environmentally-sustainable future.

And now, we turn to The Coup Klux Klan to see what they are up to:

Now try getting out of the tree.

Axios’ morning email thingie gives us the Good News (emphasis theirs):

Republicans will emerge from the Trump era gutted financially, institutionally and structurally. The losses are stark and substantial:

  • They lost their congressional power.
  • Their two leaders, Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy, are hamstrung by corporate blacklisting of their election-denying members.
  • The GOP brand is radioactive for a huge chunk of America.
  • The corporate bans on giving to the 147 House and Senate Republicans who voted against election certification are growing and virtually certain to hold.
  • The RNC is a shell of its former self and run by a Trump loyalist.
  • Democrats crushed them in fundraising when they were out of power. Imagine their edge with it.
  • Sheldon Adelson, the party’s biggest donor, died Monday.
  • The NRA is weaker than it has ever been, after massive leadership scandals.
  • The U.S. Chamber of Commerce, once controlled by rock-ribbed Republicans, also gave to Democrats in 2020.
  • Rank-and-file Republicans are now scattered on encrypted channels like Signal and fearful of Big Tech platforms.

The big picture: Conservatives hold power in the courts and state legislatures, two foundational pieces to rebuilding their party. But they likely will face a raging internal war over policies and political leaders as they grapple with a post-Trump world — whenever that might be.

Not to be a bummer, but… we on the Left have a long, proud history of pulling defeat out of the jaws of victory. Even after saying that, this is a pretty good list of reasons to be mildly optimistic.

Posted in dim-o-crats, President-elect Handsome Joe Biden, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans) | 13 Comments

Dewy, Cheatum, and Howe Decline Trump As Client

It comes as a shock that notorious invoice stiffer and twice-impeached grifter Prznint Stupid is not finding any legal talent to defend him in the upcoming impeachment trial in the Senate:

Allies of the outgoing president have been canvassing Washington’s legal landscape looking for representation but so far are coming up short. Lawyers who defended him in the previous impeachment trial, including Jay Sekulow and White House Counsel Pat Cipollone, have said no this time, according to people familiar with the matter. Other lawyers who have defended Trump at times, including former Florida attorney general Pam Bondi, Eric Herschmann, Pat Philbin, and Marc Kasowitz aren’t interested in joining a team this time, the people said. Some of the lawyers who don’t want a role have privately said what Trump did was indefensible.

More broadly, a number of prominent law firms have refused to engage in any legal representation involving the president’s actions following the November 3 election. “I’m not terribly surprised that top tier conservative attorneys who a Republican president might normally turn to would not be interested in jumping on this particular grenade,” said Keith Whittington, a politics professor at Princeton University. “Those who might have been sympathetic to defending the president in other contexts such as his first impeachment don’t necessarily want to defend what he’s done here—both because they aren’t easy to defend and they’ll tarnish people’s professional reputation down the road.”

Maybe he should try Wolfram & Hart*?

*Imma Buffy nerd.

Posted in Bastards, blood sucking leeches, ITMFA, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Pop Culture, snark | 10 Comments

Staff Shocked: Ayatollah Ted Continues To Be Himself

2024 Goat Rodeo

Separated at Birth?

I’m afraid once again we must grab the bull by the tail and face the situation: Ted Cruz, professional asshole.

Ted Cruz’s Former Staffers Are ‘Disgusted’ by His New Low for Trump

“Ted Cruz has long had a public reputation as an unctuous asshole. Even so, his staffers have tended to hold him in high regard as a kind and geeky man who treated his underlings well even while his fellow senators loathed him.

One must, I suppose, also question ANYONE who would willingfully work for this asshole, let alone hold him in high regard (I would hold him at arm’s length at best), but I interrupted. Do continue.

“Now, though, “most of Cruzworld is pretty disgusted” with the senator for choosing to back Donald Trump’s absurd claims of widespread election fraud, in the words of one former aide. As another former aide put it, “Everyone is upset with the direction things have gone, and the longer they’ve been with the senator, the more distaste they are expressing.”

You mean eating a crap sandwich every day gets old?

Intelligencer spoke to more than half a dozen former Cruz staffers who have spent the past week trying to reconcile the man they once believed in with the politician they saw on January 6 when — hours after a mob tore through the Capitol — Cruz voted to throw out electoral votes from states that voted for Joe Biden, just as the rioters and Trump wanted. They say their former boss has become unrecognizable to them.

Ayatollah Ted is very consistent, in fact, if he had suddenly had a change of heart, that would have been remarkable. Ted Cruz is a smarmy opportunist and will take anything he sees as an opening and run with it. When he saw that the Moron from Missouri, Josh Hawley was making book with MAGA by being the first Senator to promote sedition, Cruz pushed him out of the spotlight to be the bigger asshole.

The 2024 Goat Rodeo is already begun, Scissorheads. It’s gonna be a long slog.

Side note:Insurrectionist Lonnie Coffman had Ted Cruz’ office phone numbers in his truck, which also contained unregistered guns and 11 molotov cocktails.

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Sen. Josh Hawley, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The Stupid Coup, Y'all Qaeda | 3 Comments

The 4th Reich Put The Band Back Together

Nothing surprises me anymore –

Longtime Trump advisers connected to groups behind rally that led to Capitol attack

“Three of the key advisers who helped engineer Donald Trump’s’ rise to the presidency in 2016, and who fell from grace under the weight of federal criminal charges, resurfaced during Trump’s final days in office to help engineer his ill-fated attempt to cling to power.”

Oh, Jeebus, tell me it’s not…

“Roger Stone, Steve Bannon, and retired Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn all participated in efforts to promote the Jan. 6 ‘Stop the Steal’ event that ultimately devolved into a riotous and deadly melee at the United States Capitol, leaving five dead and causing Trump to become the only president to be impeached for a second time.”

Hair Füror unleashed the Crack-ed.

The rat that was well and truly eff’ed was Prznint Stupid hisself (and of course all of America). I look forward to these three mugs going behind bars again, and this time Prznint Supid cannot pardon them, but he might join them. There’s a conspiracy there.


Posted in Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Mike 'Moscow Mole' Flynn, Roger Stone, Steve Bannon, The Stupid Coup | 5 Comments