News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

sears-catalog-racist-negro-halloween-1912The reviews are in, and The New Confederacy hates, Hates, HATES the National Museum of African American History and Culture.

So helpfully they suggest some exhibits that they say you WILL NOT FIND:

  • The Democratic Party’s history of slavery
  • Black Lives Matter is a racist organization that praises cop-killer Assata Shakur
  • The Communist mentor of the first black President
  • Martin Luther King Jr.’s womanizing, plagiarism, and communist advisers
  • Unpatriotic black sports figures
  • Paul Robeson: a black dupe of reds
  • Why Richard Wright broke with the Communist Party
  • The NAACP once opposed communism
  • The Black Conservative Movement
Posted in Racism, The New Confederacy | 5 Comments

The Dented and Banged-Up Brand of Ayatollah Ted

"I am not a vulgar talking yam, I am a Canadian."

“I am not a vulgar talking yam, I am a Canadian.”

$20 Bucks, Same As In Town

Ayatollah Ted Cruz just destroyed his brand:

In Cleveland, I urged voters, “please, don’t stay home in November. Stand, and speak, and vote your conscience, vote for candidates up and down the ticket whom you trust to defend our freedom and to be faithful to the Constitution.”

After many months of careful consideration, of prayer and searching my own conscience, I have decided that on Election Day, I will vote for the Republican nominee, Donald Trump.

And before you tell me that Cruz just sold out, I‘ll argue that he just bought-in: Remember Wheaties and Bailey’s enthusiast Reince Priebus threatening the failed 2016 Goat Rodeo candidates earlier this week? The obvious anagram just got his first scalp.

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Hair Furer, Donald Trump, Y'all Qaeda | 8 Comments

What’s Missing?

These people are beyond belief. It’s like Yetis in a avalanche eating mayo with Julian Assange.

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Hair Furer, Donald Trump | 10 Comments

The Midday Palate Cleanser

Where does Napolean keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES!

Posted in dogs, Palate Cleansers | Leave a comment

Because It’s Never About Race

Governor Mike Pence signs Indiana's We Don't Serve Your Kind into law with the approving gaze of Indiana's various mullahs, clerics, and militia tribesmen.

Governor Mike Pence signs Indiana’s We Don’t Serve Your Kind into law with the approving gaze of Indiana’s various mullahs, clerics, and militia tribesmen.

Mike ‘Fat Termite” Pence tells us we should just stop talking about race and talk about sweet baby Jeebus instead:

Pence was answering a question posed by Bishop John Brannon who asked about how Pence as vice president could personally unite the nation…

Pence mentioned faith as his first means to reunite the country and reduce violence, but then said he thought there was too much talk of how law enforcement officers conduct themselves.

“Donald Trump and I believe there’s been far too much of this talk of institutional bias or racism within law enforcement. That police officers are human beings. In difficult and life threatening situations, mistakes are made and people have to be held to strict account,” Pence said.

Mistakes are made? Nice passive construction talking about police slaughtering unarmed citizens who happen to be Blah. No need to talk about it, but have you had the Good News?

Jeebus. What an assrocket.

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Mike 'Fat Termite' Pence, Racism, The New Confederacy, Theocrats | 8 Comments

Claim Chowder, Served Hot

A car made for a weenie.

A car made for a weenie.

Conservative columnist, University of Tennessee Law Professor, and noted bad driver Instapundit (Glenn Reynolds) has been suspended by USA Today after urging people to run over protesters in Charlotte.

One might thing that the law school might be considering, you know, a law professor that encourages felony manslaughter.

 

Posted in Claim Chowder | 3 Comments

Preach, Brother Olbermann, Preach!

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo | 2 Comments

Wow

This is really strong stuff.

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo | 3 Comments

The Morning Quote

Jeebus, the New Confederacy is here.

Posted in The New Confederacy | 4 Comments

¡Hola, Amoebas! ‘K Pasta?

The GOP's 5-ton Oléphant Is Outside Their Big Tent

The GOP’s 5-ton Oléphant Is Outside Their Big Tent

From Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!):

With 46 days until the November elections, and as early voting begins in a handful of states, Trump is on the precipice of becoming the only major-party presidential candidate this century not to reach out to millions of American voters whose dominant, first or just preferred language is Spanish. Trump has not only failed to buy any Spanish-language television or radio ads, he so far has avoided even offering a translation of his website into Spanish, breaking with two decades of bipartisan tradition.

He’s cutting off his nose to spite his mango-hued face.

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Hair Furer, Donald Trump | 5 Comments