Shut-down Watch

Exciting News From the Trump Administration!

One of the things that seems under-reported (to me, anyway) is that The Dreamers would not be part of the government shut-down story if Comrade Stupid had not decided to revoke President Obama’s DACA Executive Order. All of the drama and political malpractice around the shut-down of the Federal Gubmint stems from his hubris (and racism? Yes.)

That said, Tiger Beat’s morning email thingie tells us:

SPEAKER PAUL RYAN and HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER KEVIN MCCARTHY returned from a GOP leadership retreat with a plan to extend government funding for another 28 days, while reauthorizing the Children’s Health Insurance Program for six years. WHY? It could be a way to get some waffling Democrats at a low price.

Will it work?

HOW THIS COULD FALL APART: Two pockets of Republicans to keep an eye on: conservatives and defense hawks. Most conservatives seem to realize they can’t reject this plan. But you can see strategically why they might: this short-term deal sets up a big immigration compromise, and a massive spending-cap accord next month — neither of which is expected to get much conservative support. Some conservatives are pushing for a plan that simply will not work: a full year of defense funding combined with a month of funding for the rest of the government. That all being said, it seems like this leadership plan has a decent chance of working. More from Rachael Bade, Sarah Ferris, John Bresnahan and Jennifer Scholtes http://politi.co/2DIVjEt

Mike ‘Payola’ Allen writing Axios’ morning email thingie adds:

Posted in 4th Reich, immigration, racism, The New Confederacy, White Punks on Dope | 2 Comments

Fox News: Stormy Weather

The Death of the Media

Shame on you!

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) morning email thingie tells us that…

“Fox News shelved story on Trump and porn actress Stormy Daniels before election,” by CNN’s Oliver Darcy: “Fox News had a story at the height of the presidential election that detailed an alleged sexual relationship between porn actress Stephanie Clifford — whose stage name is ‘Stormy Daniels’ — and Donald Trump, but opted not to publish it, four people familiar with the matter told CNN. … One of the network’s reporters, Diana Falzone, had filed a story in October 2016 about an alleged sexual relationship between Clifford and Trump … Falzone had an on-the-record statement from Clifford’s manager at the time, Gina Rodriguez, confirming that her client had engaged in a sexual relationship with Trump … and Falzone had even seen emails about a settlement. But the story never saw the light of the day, to the frustration of Falzone.” http://cnnmon.ie/2DF6HB3

October 2016 would be just after we learned about sexual assault as a right and privilege of a certain pussy-grabbing celebrity. Info about The Russian Usurper paying off the porn star for services rendered would be of interest to voters, but Fox chose not to go with it. Maybe the FCC should look into that? (Hahaha, I jest!)

Fox tries to claim that there is a wall between their editorial and news departments, but this story kinda shatters that illusion. We always thought that all of Fox News is in bed with Trump and not just this guy…

Sean pines away his days.

UPDATE 1: The Reliable Sources Newsletter

Oliver Darcy emails: Fox News had a story at the height of the presidential election that detailed an alleged sexual relationship between porn actress Stormy Daniels and Donald Trump, but opted not to publish it, four people familiar with the matter told me. Sources said one of the network’s reporters, Diana Falzone, had an on-the record statement from Daniels’ manager at the time confirming her client had engaged in a sexual relationship with Trump and that Falzone had even seen emails about a settlement. But the story never saw the light of day. As one of the sources said, “She had the story and Fox killed it.” Read more…

 –> Last week we reported that ABC News producers were pursuing an interview with Daniels before election day. Slate and The Daily Beast were also chasing the Daniels story. Slate’s Jacob Weisberg published a new story about this on Tuesday…

 –> So what happened at Fox? Noah Kotch, who became EIC and VP of Fox News digital in 2017, told Darcy in a statement, “Like many other outlets, we were working to report the story of Stephanie Clifford’s account in October 2016 about then-Presidential candidate Donald Trump and a possible payment by Trump lawyer Michael Cohen. In doing our due diligence, we were unable to verify all of the facts and publish a story.”

Posted in Death of the Media, Fox News | 3 Comments

White, Like She

Scissorhead Purplehead sends us this important, behind-the-scenes look at how Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers, the highest ranking Republican woman in the house, celebrated MLK Day in Spokane Washington.

(Couldn’t be whiter if Tilda Swinton was throwing mayo at a Yeti in a blizzard in overexposed black and white photo.)

The census of 2010 tells us that Spokane is 86.6% white, so maybe she just couldn’t get anyone from missing 14% to join her Republican friends? Or maybe they were where she wasn’t: at the Grand Opening of the The Martin Luther King Jr. Family Resource Center in Spokane.

Odd that she didn’t go. I do wonder why.

Posted in snark | 8 Comments

Bad Signs, Cont.

Cafe

Just don’t ask for extra froth.

(Hat tip: Our pal Driftglass sent it on with a note: “Forwarded along to you at the request of one of our readers.” Thanks Drifty!)

Posted in Bad Signs | Leave a comment

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

It really feelz like Liz Grokin arrived out of nowhere and now is in the pole position for being our favorite nutty conspiracy theorist for 2018. Today’s exhibit(s) shows us that ol’ Liz could give Alex Jones a run for the money:

…and:

You see, the pizza is a symbol of child sex slavery because Comet Pingpong and PIZZAGATE!!1!

But now for the real funny, please notice that she puts a slice of pizza into her twitter handle… OMG, IT GOES DEEPER THAN WE THINK!!! CROKIN IS PART OF THE ILLUMINATTI!!!

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

Posted in Geeks and Freaks, Jump for Jeebus, Sex fiends, The Freemasons, The Illuminati are comin' to getcha, Xristian Xraxies | 9 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

A) That dog enjoys life more than most of us ever will and 2) OWNER OF THE YEAR!

Posted in dogs, Palate Cleansers | 6 Comments

Local Shithouse Inspector in the Shithole

(Image courtesy of Scissorhead Bruce388)

Livewire: DHS Chief Says Under Oath That Trump Used ‘Tough Language’ In Meeting

DHS Secretary Kiersten Nielson (sounds Norwegianish to me!) under oath confirmed that Comrade Racist said something vulgar:

Leahy interrupted her: “Did he use what would be considered vulgar language referring to certain countries?”

“The President used tough language in general, as did other congressmen in the room, yes sir,” she said.

One of the comments that Sen. Leahy makes also torpedoes the fig leaf of meritocracy argument that The New Confederacy is hiding behind:

Leahy asked about Norway. “Being from Norway is not a skill,” he noted, referring to the White House’s professed preference for high-skilled immigrants.

…which is a really good point that gets lost in all the cursing.

Posted in 4th Reich, immigration, racism, White Punks on Dope | 7 Comments

Deal or No Deal? (The Kobayashi Maru Sails Again)

It’s all a crap shoot (see what I did there>)

So the question on everyone in the political media’s hive mind is whether or not the Federal Government is going to shut down by Friday.

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) morning email thingie tells us…

BASED ON WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT CONGRESS, there is a zero percent chance that a deal can be reached at this point and passed this week.

RULE OF THUMB: Congress typically needs three or so days to review a big legislative package.

They say the big question now is whether or not they can even pass a short-term bill to keep the lights on for another month. And no one has any idea.

The Republicans control the entire apparatus of the government, so it would be difficult for them to not own this, but they will be trying to pin the blame on the Dims.

Again, Tiger Beat:

Ryan is a big-picture guy who disdains Congressional drama. A government shutdown would be nettlesome for him, to say the least. He and his leadership team are seeing projections that they could lose something like 40 seats — which would cost them their majority. A shutdown does not do him any good. It’s simple for Ryan: if he can find 218 Republicans who will stick together, he can make Democrats irrelevant. If not, he has to deal.

HOUSE MINORITY LEADER NANCY PELOSI: House Republicans passed the last short-term funding bill without House Democrats. If they are able to thread the needle again — which is still a big if — Pelosi and House Democrats will be largely irrelevant to the debate this week. If Republicans need Democrats to keep the government open, watch to see what she does to try to extract some sort of promise on DACA.

Despite the chatter from the president, Democratic leaders need a DACA deal as badly as anyone. Pelosi has been promising her caucus that she would solve this issue since September. Pelosi and Ryan — who share a cordial, but not especially warm relationship — have similar internal dynamics. There’s a healthy contingent in Pelosi’s caucus that’s skeptical of her legislative strategy. A DACA deal would help quiet that pocket — and give Pelosi a win.

So the question is, why cannot Zombie-eyed Granny-starver Paul Ryan hold together 218 Republicans? I’ll give you a clue from Comrade Racist, who is perhaps now the world’s best known shithouse inspector: immigration.

  • The Senate Dims say that they will not vote for a budget if the Dreamers are not protected, somehow.
  • The New Confederacy Wing of the GOP are not waiting for some gang of half a dozen senators to write an AMNESTY!!!1! bill that they will loathe.

House Freedom Caucus Rep. Bob Goodlatte wrote his OWN hateful bill, which:

  • pushes the Dreamers to the end of the line for citizenship
  • eliminates sanctuary cities (states rights!!1! be damned!!1!)
  • eliminates chain migration
  • eliminates the diversity visa lottery
  • increases border security
  • requires employers to verify all of their workers’ legal status

The New Confederacy wants to hold a floor vote and send it to the Senate before the Senate can amnesty-ize (is too a verb!) them non-Norwegian illegals. If ZEGS brings the bill up for a vote, he might get 218 Republicans to vote for it, but no Dims.

Senate Dims want to protect the Dreamers  or they won’t vote for the budget, so passing the House’s hate-filled authoritarian bill will cause a government shutdown on Friday. And if ZEGS doesn’t bring the bill up for a vote, the Freedom Caucus will try to unseat him.

So it’s the Kobayashi Maru (again) for Paul Ryan. Somewhere, weepy ol’ John Boehner is laughing his orange ass off, swigging the Merlot from the bottle and smoking a pack of ciggiebutts.

 

Posted in 4th Reich | 11 Comments

Bad Design, Cont.

ally

Oh, dear. There are no editors anymore.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Pupienus Maximus)

Posted in Bad Design | 5 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

(Image courtesy of Scissorhead ‘The Ghost of Techie’)

This was enough to gag a maggot…

Rep. Kevin McCarthy really knows how to brown nose, if not indeed french kiss Comrade Stupid’s ass:

“[Trump and McCarthy] were alone in the presidential suite on Air Force One, flying east toward Washington in early October, when the president reached for a handful of Starbursts…”

“But instead of unwrapping all the treats, the president was careful to pluck out and eat two flavors: cherry and strawberry, McCarthy noticed. ‘We’re there, having a little dessert, and he offers me some,’ McCarthy recalled in an interview. ‘Just the red and the pink…'”

“Days later, … [McCarthy] bought a plentiful supply of Starbursts and asked a staffer to sort through the pile, placing only those two flavors in a jar.

McCarthy made sure his name was on the side of the gift, which was delivered to a grinning Trump, according to a White House official.”

Courtesans gotta court, amiright?

Or, “$20, same as in town.”

Posted in 4th Reich | 12 Comments