Open Tabs (What We’re Reading), And Other Misc.

Holiday weekends are always light on news, and it seems even during a pandemic and the now usual shit-show that it Lord Damp Nut’s Maladministration, everyone is longing for a return to normal and hence The Villagers (our Failed Political Press) are off somewhere, dreaming of the cocktail and pool parties they are missing in The Village.

Here in the Emerald City, we are still in sheltering-in-place so picnics and what not are not a possibility. And of course, it’s been raining.

We turn to long(er) reads. I thought some of these might be of interest to you.

The Atlantic: America’s Patchwork Pandemic Is Fraying Even Further

The New Republic: Blow Up the Restaurant Industry and Start Over

Medium: Inside the Flour Company Supplying America’s Sudden Baking Obsession (which reminds me that I need to start a dough today)

Just like the flour, seeds companies are selling out of product. Pandemic America is really going back to basics. Seeds of Italy is sold out(!), and more seeds are not coming from Italy, at least not at present.

I just received some seeds from (new to me) upstate NY’s farmacie isolde, which has a very curated list of seeds (all of which are intriguing), and Mendocino California’s Quail Seeds (who came about when the much-beloved Bountiful Gardens closed), which focuses on heirloom seeds and permaculture, so I will be seed starting greens today. I’m pleased to report that Seed Savers is open again for orders and running free shipping this weekend. If you are at all inclined to be pandemic gardeners, these are fine places to buy rare and unusual seeds.

So tell us in the comments, Scissorheads, what are you doing this holiday weekend to remain sane?

Posted in holidays | 38 Comments

FORE! (UPDATED)

Hole-in-one!

The morning email thingie from Politico at the top breathlessly tells us:

WE WERE TALKING TO A WHITE HOUSE SOURCE Friday and asked if the president could get through the long holiday weekend without a trip to his country club in Virginia. Golf is open and allowed in Maryland and the commonwealth. This senior White House aide pointed out to us that President DONALD TRUMP hasn’t played in seventy-something days. (But who is counting?!)

And then without guile tells us…

… AND THE PRESIDENT has arrived at his club in Virginia, per Fritze.

THE PRESIDENT has no events scheduled today.

Question asked and question answered.

UPDATE 1:

UPDATE 2:

Posted in Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper | 12 Comments

The Spice Must Flow, Part Infinity

Concern Trolls

The Spice Must Flow

For us foul-mouthed, vituperous bloggers of the Left, Chuck Todd is always a pretty easy target. He’s neither bright nor smooth, and like his predecessor Dancin’ Dave Gregory, he goes into interviews at best armed with inside-the-beltway conventional wisdom, and mostly is looking for affirmation that he is right. It is one of the reasons why he rarely asks follow-up questions, does not fact check, and always seems so ill-prepared when he does get pushback.

Let’s take today, for example

Symone Sanders from handsome Joe’s campaign is having none of Upchuck’s nonsense about Biden being too old and off-script to be prznint:

(Hat tip: Crooks and Liars)

RED ALERT! CUT FOR A COMMERCIAL BREAK!!!

Now it doesn’t take much effort to see that Upchuck was trying to keep alive the Biden gaffe trope and throw in some ageism for kicks:

… you have a long list of when he goes off the cuff he seems to speak with sort of an older generation stereotype at times in some of this stuff.

Pretty hard to miss it, innit?

Posted in 2020 Goat Rodeo, Chuck 'The Facts Don't Matter' Todd, Dancing with the Gregory, Joe Biden | 4 Comments

Great Signs, Cont.

(H/T: @NamelessCynic)

You know that a squirrel named Karen is complaining, right?

(Hat tip: Secret Scissorhead @NamelessCynic on the electrical Twitter machine)

Posted in Distancing, Great Signs, Pandemics | 8 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Jump for Jeebus! Our ol’ pal Josh Bernstein wants a visit from the Secret Service as he stronly suggest lynching current candidate and former VP Joe Biden!

Joshie, Two-Words: de-caffe yourself.

Posted in Josh Bernstein, Jump for Jeebus, Talentless Hacks | 5 Comments

Did I Pass The Test?

It’s amazing the number of Scissorhead who sent me this.

Posted in Booze, Pandemics | 4 Comments

2 Corinthians Go Into A Bar to Separate Church From State

Prznint Stupid, who sometimes refers to hisself as “The Chosen One” and regularly calls in Vanilla ISIS to lay hands on him and avails hisself of the POTUS Shield and other self-declared prophets to intercede on his behalf, has decided that the return of white shoes, er, Memorial Day Weekend is now Holy (and trust me: that’s not scriptural) and therefore is demanding a separation of Church and State (which ought to really confuse the Xristian Xrazies), per Axios’ afternoon email thingie:

President Trump announced Friday that he was declaring churches and places of worship as “essential places that provide essential services,” and said that he would override governors to allow them to open “right now.”

What he’s saying: “Some governors have deemed liquor stores and abortion clinics as essential, but have left out churches and other houses of worship. It’s not right,” Trump said from the White House podium.

  • “The governors need to do the right thing and allow these very important essential places of faith to open right now. For this weekend. If they don’t do it, I will override the governors,” he added.

Lots’a luck, buddy. There is no way to do that that I am aware of. I mean you can mean-tweet at them, but I think that’s all you got. And besides: since you washed your hands of the blood of Christ, er, any responsibility to manage the Trump-Virus and turned that over to the states, it seems unlikely you REALLY wanna take responsibility now, you know, that infections are sparking after two weeks of Possum Hollar breaking curfew.

So, no: this is just another Jump for Jeebus attempt to grift the fetus-fondling Gawd Botherers that you are one of ’em. Send donations now!

UPDATE 1 (Another Axios Alert thingie):

  • A CDC case study out this week said 35 of the 92 people who attended services at a rural Arkansas church in March tested positive for COVID-19, killing three.
Posted in Blog Against Theocracy, Jump for Jeebus, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Xristian Xraxies | 26 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

This week’s episode of Muffin, The Vampire Slayer looks promising.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Dennis Cole)

Posted in cats, Palate Cleansers, snark | 10 Comments

Was That Haircut Worth it, Possum Hollar?

That hair wasn’t teased, it was cruelly bullied.

W$J:

Coronavirus infections jump by more than a million in less than two weeks

As U.S. states and countries across the world seek to rejuvenate their economies, coronavirus infections continue to spread, with more than a million infections reported world-wide in less than two weeks.

Globally, there have been more than 5.1 million recorded cases of the virus, up from 3.85 million two weeks ago, according to data compiled by Johns Hopkins University, and more than 333,000 deaths.

In the U.S., there have been nearly 1.58 million confirmed infections. The death toll passed 94,700, including 1,222 deaths recorded between 8 p.m. Wednesday and the same time Thursday, a Wall Street Journal analysis of Johns Hopkins data showed.

Posted in Pandemics, Shelter-in-Place, Testing | 15 Comments

Our List Grows, Part Infinity

Eat the Rich

Congrats to American billionaires, who have raked in $434 billion during the lockdown:

America’s billionaires saw their fortunes soar by $434 billion during the U.S. lockdown between mid-March and mid-May, according to a new report.

Amazon’s Jeff Bezos and Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg had the biggest gains, with Bezos adding $34.6 billion to his wealth and Zuckerberg adding $25 billion, according to the report from Americans for Tax Fairness and the Institute for Policy Studies’ Program for Inequality. The report is based on Forbes data for America’s more than 600 billionaires between March 18, when most states were in lockdown, and May 19.

How do they do it? Oh, you know, the usual way: on the backs of the poor.

So given the incredible structural income inequality AND the fall-out from the Trump-Virus, we can be assured that our overlords are working overtime to ensure that we serfs get a few crumbs that fall from the table, amirite?

Amply be-chinned #MoscowMitch McConnell vowed to House Republicans that the $600 weekly boost in unemployment benefits will not be extended, and that his top priority is still liability protections for companies.

Mitch McConnell promised House Republicans on Wednesday that the beefed up unemployment benefits enacted earlier this spring “will not be in the next bill.”

…And he said the $600 weekly boost in unemployment benefits won’t continue — a vow he hadn’t previously made.

McConnell warned against trial lawyer “vultures” ready to file lawsuits and said Republicans are “going to have to clean up the Democrats’ crazy policy that is paying people more to remain unemployed than they would earn if they went back to work,” McConnell said.

Who’s hiring, Mitch? 2.4 million more Americans filed for unemployment benefits in the last week, bringing the total number of first-time unemployment claims over the past nine weeks to 38.6 million, and it probably is an undercount because gig workers do not get counted the same way.

We gotta get this MoEff’er out of office.

Posted in Amply Be-Chinned #MoscowMitch McConnell, Bankster Bastards, Bastards, Billionaire Bastards, blood sucking leeches, CEO Bastards, Pandemics, Rat Bastards, The Miracle of the Trump Economy | 12 Comments