Happy Hour News Briefs
Erik Rush, the happy culture warrior, writes some interesting BOTH SIDES fanfic at World Nut Daily:
…This got me to thinking that it would be wonderful if reality represented to our senses a truly objective view of what people – in this case, political candidates – were like, as opposed to their carefully crafted, subjective physical representations.
For example: Say a guy named Donald Trump ran for president and he was giving a campaign speech. To our voter, Trump might appear as a carny barker, with a loud overcoat, huge bow tie and top hat. He would be loud too, and his verbiage might occasionally be clumsy or even insulting.
Please continue. Your words fascinate me.
While this appearance might be something of a distraction, voters would still be allowed to evaluate his message despite the stereotypical visage. Ironically, however, it wouldn’t give voters any more insight to Trump’s integrity than they have now, or than they have concerning any candidate. Just like a traditional carny barker, what a candidate says sounds good, but will the attraction be all that they’ve promised? Trump comes across in this manner anyway; even his proponents admit that he’s loud, sometimes boorish,and trips on his tongue with regularity.
That said, the carny barker does not always stretch the truth, and sometimes, the attraction is well worthwhile.
If, you know, the two-headed baby is really what you wanted to see? Sure. Why not.
Say, what about the other candidate? I mean if Trump is the Carny Barker, what is Clinton? Please extend your metaphor, I can hardly wait to find out the Both Sides objective reality you are so clearly itching to present!
In this alternative reality scenario, Hillary Clinton would be a completely different story. Objective reality would probably represent her appearance as an amorphous, grayish-green entity with only occasional glimpses of her leering face and trendy designer apparel peeking through the goo. Festering boils, sores and other lesions would populate a shifting, gelatinous corpulence. Groups of diseased genitalia and excretory organs might form in random areas on her glistening skin, migrating across its surface and occasionally engaging each other in horrid fashion. Even to the non-religious person, her appearance would be truly evocative of a creature from hell, a vision to make even the late H.R. Giger cringe.
So, there you have it! Trump’s a freak-show barker, but Clinton is the freak? Got it.