Callista Gingrich Just Made Eiron the Goddess of Irony Laugh So Hard She Farted

Newt-and-Callista

You cannot make up shit like this: Callista Gingrich set to be named ambassador to the Vatican

The Russian Usurper is really going to appoint staff-banging, serial-adulterer Noot’s Blowjob Queen Wife #3 to the Holy See?

The White House hopes to announce her nomination before President Donald Trump meets with Pope Francis on May 24 in Rome… Gingrich is a devout Catholic, telling the Christian Broadcasting Network in a 2011 interview that she has “always been a very spiritual person.”

“I’m always on my knees,” Callista didn’t gulp.

(I’m not religious, let alone Catholic, but even I am offended by this.)

Posted in 4th Reich, Newticles | 10 Comments

The Good Republican

The Good German syndrome postulates that many in Germany turned a blind eye to the madness as the Nazis took over and denied responsibility for what happened; I also believe that burning their uniforms and denying that they were part of the regime is also part of being The Good German.

Those of us with long memories might recall that after Chimpy’s Reign of Error, we saw something similar from Republicans who ran away from his disastrous wars and the smoldering wreck of the economy when they pronounced themselves to be either Tea Baggers or Independents.

“Dubya? Never heard of him,” and they continued on their merry way as constitutional conservatives.

Exhibit A is our old friend One-L who became the queen of the Obama-era Tea Party Caucus, but previously she was the Representative who kept clutching and trying to be seen with Chimpy:

Republicans becoming Tea Baggers was a rebranding unlike any other that came before it, except for the Good Germans.

And that brings us to Trump. Though the polls have certainly been wrong before, the indicators are that the 2018 midterms might turn the Senate over to the Dims and possibly the House. As I mentioned before, I don’t believe this, though I do think the Dims will make gains.

So let’s play What If.

So if 2018 does turn into a Blue tidal wave, will the Republicans rebrand themselves again? Will they go the Good German route and deny that they were ever part of Trump’s party? Or will they say, “eff-it, he got me fired from the Gravy Train and so Imma work for getting him impeached now?”

Haha, I jest.

They cheer Trump as he tries to take away healthcare, bans one of the great religions of the world from entering the US, and gives the tacit thumbs up to the fascists and racists and theocrats (oh my!), but boy, if they are thrown out on their pimpled white-male asses will they suddenly feel empowered to stand up for the country? Or will they be Good Germans and burn their uniforms (again).

I think I will invest in charcoal lighter futures and matches. I’ll be richer than a sultan.

Posted in 4th Reich | 4 Comments

The Cold Chill Down The Spine Moment

CNN:

“I think in many ways our institutions are under assault both externally — and that’s the big news here is the Russian interference in our election system — and I think as well our institutions are under assault internally,” Clapper said on CNN’s “State of the Union.”

Pressed by anchor Jake Tapper if he meant US institutions were under assault internally from the President, Clapper responded, “Exactly.”

This is not normal. This is a former high-ranking intelligence official saying that the current President of the United States is a threat to the United States.

Posted in 4th Reich, Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper | 3 Comments

The Summary

Seething Rage.
(image courtesy Scissorhead MonkeyFister)

The Villagers are pretty much all gossiping that The Russian Usurper is about to change around the White House staff, you know like a cliff-hanger at some point during a night time drama, hoping to improve the ratings.  (An ersatz, “Who Shot JR” or Dynasty’s Moldavian Massacre.) And yes, the media is that stupid and Trump is that venal, so it might be self-fulfilling.

(Firing Spicy has reached pop culture status as the SNL clip posted earlier has so well demonstrated.)

Let’s start with some excerpts from the speech that the Russian Usurper gave at Jerry Falwell’s (somewhat accredited) Liberty University to set the tone:

Be totally unafraid to challenge entrenched interests and failed power structures. Does that sound familiar, by the way?…

Relish the opportunity to be an outsider. Embrace that label — being an outsider is fine, embrace the label — because it’s the outsiders who change the world and who make a real and lasting difference. The more that a broken system tells you that you’re wrong, the more certain you should be that you must keep pushing ahead, you must keep pushing forward.

And pushing ahead is the operative phrase. But this is how Trump sees himself, a lone heroic figure.

Mike ‘Payola’ Allen writing in Axios morning email thingie gives us the middle school hallway gossip:

At the urging of longtime friends and outside advisers, most of whom he consults after dark, President Trump is considering a “huge reboot” that could take out everyone from Chief of Staff Reince Priebus and chief strategist Steve Bannon, to counsel Don McGahn and press secretary Sean Spicer, White House sources tell me.

And the smart money in DC says that indeed Elmer Gantry’s Daughter Sarah Huckabee-Sanders will be the replacement, but then again, she doesn’t have the central casting look that Trump craves:

Trump has discussed Fox News host Kimberly Guilfoyle as a possible press secretary, according to the Times, which noted that the president has also spent several hours with Spicer this week praising his TV “ratings” during briefings.

And Jeebus, praising Spicy’s ratings. It’s insane and shallow.

Putting Huckabee-Sanders in the role would be the conventional thing to do, so we bet 5 Quatloos that it will be some Fox News Refugee. (And those of us who remember Guilfoyle as SF’s first lady are already cringing.)

Back to Axios:

The sources say Trump feels ill-served by not just his staff but also by several of his Cabinet officials. Trump has two complaints about Cabinet members: Either they’re tooting their own horns too much, or they’re insufficiently effusive in praising him as a brilliant diplomat, etc. Among the cross-currents:

  • His friend Wilbur Ross at Commerce this week took what was perceived as a victory lap on a China trade announcement that does little new in actuality.
  • Attorney General Jeff Sessions made a big announcement about increasing prison sentences, at the same time that Jared is working on criminal-justice reform.
  • HHS Secretary Tom Price shares the blame for the glacial pace of health-care legislation.

There is a ring of truth to this reasoning: the Narcissist in Chief sees praise as a zero-sum game: if anyone else is being praised means that some praise was taken praise AWAY from him.

WaPo sees The Russian Usurper more in the Captain Queeg role:

“One GOP figure close to the White House mused privately about whether Trump was ‘in the grip of some kind of paranoid delusion.'”

“White House aides have felt bewildered and alarmed by how Trump arrives at his decisions — often on impulse and emotion and sometimes by rejecting the counsel of those around him.”

“When Trump sat down for the interview with NBC anchor Lester Holt, his aides were not certain what he might say. The president improvised, essentially.”

So what will happen? Who knows! So far Hair Führer has only fired people who are associated with possible criminal investigations of him when they get too close, and none of the people mentioned in the shake-ups are in those kinds of roles.

Here’s my guess: the White House staff is going to put the Russian Usurper out in front of the public, let him say whatever the hell he wants, and run for cover.  We will hear more of the Angry Inch’s “The president’s Tweet speaks for itself.”

Posted in 4th Reich, Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, Dumb Spice, The Angry Inch, Hair Führer Donald Trump | 3 Comments

Live From NY…


“Did I get him? Is this all over?”

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Bad Ads, Cont.

Beans

Man, that sounds like my undergrad diet.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Moeman)

Posted in Badvertising | 6 Comments

Midday Palate Cleanser

Plop goes the Weasel, or is it Flop Goes The Ferret? The mystery is solved at the end:

“Aw, Mom, you’re embarrassing me again!”

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Bursting Bubbles, Part 2

The Republican Party Takes Flight

Mike Allen writing at the Axios morning email thingie reinforces what we said earlier: the Russian Usurper’s base is sticking with him through thick and thin (haha, they are all thick and none of ’em are thin, but I digress):

President Trump may wind up paying a huge price for the Comey debacle. But so far, it’s playing out a bit like the “Access Hollywood” tapes where Trump bragged to Billy Bush about groping women: Washington freaks and Trump Country yawns.

Instead of getting caught boasting of groping a woman’s genitals, Trump kneecapped the FBI’s top man. This time, the stakes are even higher: Trump has raised the possibility of secret taping in the People’s House. And by his own account, he crossed traditional lines of independence between the White House and the FBI.

Out in the country, though, the parallels in the public reaction are striking:

  • Trump stands accused of doing something that would sink most politicians, or at least elicit remorse.
  • Instead of lying low or backing off, Trump escalates.
  • His staff panics but sticks with him.
  • Democrats feel certain he’s toast.
  • All of us in the media spring into 24/7 outrage.
  • And like Trump himself, the firing is broadly unpopular: In Gallup, 46% disapprove, while 39% approve.

But just like with the “Access Hollywood” tape, the vast majority of Republicans — and especially the Trump base — seem unfazed. For all the media/Democrat/Twitter histrionics, consider:

  • The Gallup daily tracking poll shows Trump’s approval has held steady (40% the day of the firing, 41% two days later).
  • Polls show two countries: In NBC News/Survey Monkey, 79% of Rs thought Trump acted appropriately, and 13% of Dems.
  • Most elected Republicans are backing Trump or staying silent. AP reports that at the Republican National Committee’s spring meeting out in Coronado, Calif., party leaders defended the president’s actions and insisted that they would have little political impact.
  • The Comey topic is hot in traditional media, but cold on Facebook: Seven other events of the Trump presidency trended harder.

Be smart: Don’t underestimate how much wiggle room Trump bought himself with his voters and conservatives by putting Gorsuch on the Supreme Court, enforcing the red line in Syria, and muscling a partial repeal of Obamacare through the House. He has a long leash with Trump Country.

The Republicans would be nuts to try to reign rein him in. The base would eat them alive.

Again, from Mike Allen’s morning email thingie:

Elected Republican officials are publicly defending Trump but privately are dumbfounded, disgusted and demoralized by this turn of events.

We haven’t had a single conversation with a top Republican that doesn’t reflect this. The worries are manifold:

  • This kills momentum on legislating, and unifies Democrats in opposition to everything they want to do.
  • This makes it easier for Democrats to recruit quality candidates and raise money for the off-year elections.
  • It sours swing voters.
  • It puts them on the defensive at home. They want to talk tax reform and deregulation — not secret tapes and Russian intrigue.
  • But mainly it reinforces their greatest fear: Trump will never change. They keep praying he’ll discipline himself enough to get some big things done. Yet they brace for more of this.

Sound smart — CNN’s Brian Stelter: “[T]he White House doesn’t seem to be providing any spokespeople for the Sunday shows. ‘Fox News Sunday’ host Chris Wallace said: ‘We can’t even reach anybody’ at the White House — ‘they’re not available, they’re not answering the phone.”

As long as the Republicans control all the levers of power, there will be no impeachment or other action that will reign rein in this fool or remove him from office. Figuratively (if not literally) the lunatics have taken over the asylum.

I’m not a PoliSci, and I have no forecasting abilities. The Russian Usurper is the monster that the Republicans have been creating all these years, and he has escaped into the wild. He’s destroying the brand, and their base of meatheads is cheering him on. He’s going to be in place for the duration, and even if the House/Senate turned blue in 2018 (and it won’t, or won’t turn blue enough) the only chance to remove him will be in 2020.

Posted in 4th Reich | 10 Comments

A Pence Per Thought

Ever see a hose with 2 asses

Pence is the one on the right.

Fat Termite toured the Westmoreland Coal Company’s Absaloka Mine yesterday with Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke, and Senator Steve Daines (R-Mont), on the Crow Indian Reservation near Hardin, Mont. No word if they toured the already-leaking Dakota Access Pipeline or talked to any of the native tribes who had to be relocated.

First time I have ever seen a horse with two asses.

Posted in 4th Reich, climate change, Mike 'Fat Termite' Pence | 4 Comments

Bad Signs, Cont.

flash

Wow, dinner and a show!

Posted in Bad Signs | 1 Comment