Category Archives: Zombie-eyed Granny-starving

The Morning Quote

Zombie-eyed Granny-Starver Paul Ryan reads the room and says he will skip the Republican National Convention in 2024 if Hair Füror is the nominee: “It depends on who the nominee is. I’ll be here if it’s somebody not named Trump.” … Continue reading

Posted in Hair Führer Donald Trump, Possum Hollar, Zombie-eyed Granny-starving | Comments Off on The Morning Quote

Paul Ryan Gives America The Bird

Zombie-eyed Granny-Starver and former Speaker of the House Paul Ryan says he’s now a Never-Again Trumper: “I’m proud of the accomplishments [during the Trump administration] — of the tax reform, the deregulation and criminal justice reform — I’m really excited … Continue reading

Posted in Zombie-eyed Granny-starving | 6 Comments

Orange Hate Goblin Hopping Mad At Ayn Rand’s Greatest Fan

Noted zombie-eyed granny starver, former Speaker of the House / current member of Fox News Board of Directors Paul Ryan is not Hair Füror’s favorite Republican any more: On Saturday, Trump took to his Truth Social platform to call Ryan … Continue reading

Posted in Hair Führer Donald Trump, Zombie-eyed Granny-starving | 3 Comments

Pompeo’s 2024 Goat Rodeo Starting

Our End-Times Secretary of State Mike Pompeo is thinking about returning to the Great Stet of Kansas, but he’s really thinking about 2024:  Pompeo to Head Home to Kansas With Plenty of Alternatives “In an interview at his State Department … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Mike 'Grifting for Jeebus' Pompeo, Weepy, Zombie-eyed Granny-starving | 10 Comments

Fair Warning: Zombie-Eyed Granny Starver Spotted in DC

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) morning email thingie alerts us: “Paul Ryan moving his family to Washington from Wisconsin”: “Paul Ryan is moving his family to the city he was always giddy to leave. “The former speaker of … Continue reading

Posted in Zombie Attacks, Zombie-eyed Granny-starving | 12 Comments

The Legend of ZEGS: The Paul Ryan Documentary!

“I’m not one of these big ego, legacy guys” …says future-former Speaker of the House Paul Ryan in a tax-payer funded, six-part Twitter docu series on his legacy. Twenty years before it became law, tax reform was just an idea. … Continue reading

Posted in snark, Zombie Attacks, Zombie-eyed Granny-starving | 7 Comments

Almost Lifelike

The Stench and Gilligan, reunited at last: An old friend dropped by to ask for directions to his new office. — Paul Ryan (@SpeakerRyan) November 14, 2018 You know at least one of ’em was thinking, “No homo!” — … Continue reading

Posted in 2012 Goat Rodeo, snark, Willard, Zombie-eyed Granny-starving | 9 Comments

Local Wonk Not Good At Job

We are not amused that Paul Ryan, the Zombie-eyed Granny-starver Speaker of the House doesn’t know how the gubmint works, specifically how a bill becomes a law. You see, for whatever reason ZEGS says that there is nothing Congress can … Continue reading

Posted in snark, Zombie Attacks, Zombie-eyed Granny-starving | 5 Comments

Paul Ryan: Chump or Insane?

Hey guys, remember last week when ZEGS (Zombie-eyed Granny-starver Paul Ryan) failed to pass a Republican-only immigration bill, and Prznint Stupid twatted out an encouraging, “Don’t Bother,” thus undercutting his own party? Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) morning … Continue reading

Posted in 4th Reich, Zombie-eyed Granny-starving | 2 Comments

Local Wonky Genius Isn’t Wonky Or Genius, Probably Not Local Either

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan—the dreamy blue-eyed favorite of our failed media—has failed again! You see, ZEGS has been trying to head off at the pass a revolt in the House over immigration that might result in something less … Continue reading

Posted in 2018 Pie Fight, immigration, Zombie Attacks, Zombie-eyed Granny-starving | 10 Comments