Category Archives: You Can’t Make This Up

The Morning Quote, Ryan-Style!

The Zombie-eyed Granny-starver has a plan to keep Preznint Trump in his place: On the topic of Trump’s proposed Muslim ban and his statements that he could enact such a policy without Congress, Ryan noted that Republicans were releasing part … Continue reading

Posted in Hair Furer, Donald Trump, You Can't Make This Up, Zombie-eyed Granny-starving | 7 Comments

Don’t Ever Change, Texas

Once again, we turn to the Great State of Texas (America’s lab for bad policy) to see what topics are making them crazier than ants under a magnifying glass. Today’s Exhibit A comes to us from Texas Rep. Pete Sessions. … Continue reading

Posted in Crazeee States, Texas, Wingnuttia, Xristian Xraxies, Y'all Qaeda, You Can't Make This Up | 13 Comments

Meanwhile, At The Monkey House…

By now, everyone must have heard that Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell declared that the US Senate will not confirm a replacement to the late SCOTUS Justice Antonin Scalia: “The American people should have a voice in the selection of … Continue reading

Posted in Wingnuttia, You Can't Make This Up | 18 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs You’ll never guess who Paul Ryan picked to lead a task force on immigration. OK, you need a hint? In 2006, This Republican took to the House floor with a model of a concrete border fence … Continue reading

Posted in immigration, You Can't Make This Up | 5 Comments

The Afternoon Derp

Oh, FFS: You can turn it off after about 5 seconds, and look for a wall to bang your head against. I guess the good news is that Y’all Qaeda will never be self-aware, and so the Rise of the … Continue reading

Posted in Xristian Xraxies, Y'all Qaeda, You Can't Make This Up | 6 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs This is your conservative media at work: Fox News Host Eric Boling claims that no only were there dancing NJ Muslims, but that they had been tipped off ahead of time so that they could watch … Continue reading

Posted in conspiracy theories, Y'all Qaeda, You Can't Make This Up | 4 Comments

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Y’all Qaeda?

So, Jeebus is a betting man? I swear to blog, if a grifter like Rick Joyner got a sure-fire tip from The Almighty, he’d be in Vegas. I’m calling BS.

Posted in Xristian Xraxies, Y'all Qaeda, You Can't Make This Up | 3 Comments

Ted Cruz: ‘Say a Little Prayer For Me’

It’s all about Him (Ted, not Jeebus): To capitalize, and build his list of supporters and donors, Cruz said Thursday that he is forming a “national prayer team.” Those who sign up will receive weekly emails that include prayer requests … Continue reading

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Theocrats, Xristian Xraxies, Y'all Qaeda, You Can't Make This Up | 11 Comments

Your Venti Soy Stupid Is Served, Xristians

Get Off The Cross, Someone Needs The Wood Starbucks still sells Christmas Blend, you tool. My Jewish friends would love to see a solid blue cup for Hannukah, and I can tell you that to a one, they all see … Continue reading

Posted in Get Off The Cross, Xristian Xraxies, You Can't Make This Up | 12 Comments

Your 3-Martini Stupid is Served, Huckabee

Well, Uncle Sugar hisself has gone and done it: he’s advocating for a return to slavery, you know, for poor people: He was also about one heart-beat away from hit, but now he’s right there. Y’all Qaeda salutes you, and … Continue reading

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Bastards, Mike 'Uncle Sugar' Huckabee, Xristian Xraxies, Y'all Qaeda, You Can't Make This Up | 3 Comments