Category Archives: Ayatollah Ted Cruz

News That Will Drive You To Drink (Theocracy Edition)

Happy Hour News Guys, the Theocrats want you to meet your maker: Churchgoers with face masks will be removed, Tennessee pastor says. ‘I’m sick of it’ A Tennessee pastor threatened to boot mask-wearers from his Tennessee church as some places … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Blog Against Theocracy, Proud Boi-Lite Sen. Josh Hawley, Theocrats | 10 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News “¡Hola, amoebas! K-Pasta?,” Cancun Ted Cruz did not begin, as he blamed rising COVID-19 infection rates in South Texas as a “direct result of illegal aliens being released into communities.” In South Texas, we’re seeing #COVID positivity … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, immigration, Pandemics, racism, Vaccine, White Punks on Dope | 9 Comments

The Night The Lights Went Out In Texas

As you may have heard, Texas’ electric grid had some problems with demand last winter when it was cold and failed (and some number of people died). This week, the still-unregulated  Electric Reliability Council of Texas is having problems keeping … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Crazeee States, Texas, America's Lab for Bad Policy | 13 Comments

The Return of Renfeld or Mike Pence’s Fly?

We are only asking the hard questions. Compare and Contrast: Disgusting human, and fat wolverine cosplayer ted cruzeats a fly, live on a parody news channel pic.twitter.com/ldoheJq4DC — 🥀_Imposter_🌹 (@Imposter_Edits) May 26, 2021 And: But really, why is it that … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, snark | 7 Comments

Place Yer Bets: The Stupid Coup Commission, Cont.

Politico/Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) morning gossip email thingie starts off the week with the news of a rare sighting of the local fauna Orange-nosed Ass-Kisser. Yes,  K-Mac was spotted in his natural habitat:  trapped between a rock … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, K-Mac Kevin McCarthy, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Proud Boi-Lite Sen. Josh Hawley, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The Stupid Coup | 9 Comments

‘I just got a text…’

Watch Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) swipe through his phone and completely ignore Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-MN). pic.twitter.com/nxze52nOb0 — The Recount (@therecount) May 11, 2021 “…from Matt Gaetz,” Ayatollah Ted did not reply to Sen. Klobuchar, “Sweet momma! Hot-diggity-dog!”

Posted in Amy Klobuchar, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Matt Gaetz, snark | 10 Comments

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Ted Cruz?

NEW VIDEO: @TedCruz wants you to know that HE led the effort to overturn the election in the Senate… take that, Josh Hawley! pic.twitter.com/eadMdgbc1B — Ted Led the Insurrection / Lauren Windsor (@lawindsor) May 7, 2021 I hope that this … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, People Dumber than Dolphins, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The Stupid Coup | 7 Comments

About Last Night…

Guys did you know that President Handsome Joe Biden addressed both houses of Congress last night? It’s true! (You can watch it here, or read the transcript here.) President Biden began by acknowledging that for the first time ever there are … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Gym Jordan, Kamala Harris, Nancy Pelosi, President Handsome Joe Biden, Rep. Lauren Boebert | 5 Comments

Today, in Backpfeifengesicht News

It’s unfair to deprive the world of his beauty: Cruz joins Paul in ditching mask despite CDC recommendations Sen. Ted Cruz is no longer wearing a face mask as he walks the halls of the Capitol complex or goes to … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Distancing, masks, Pandemics, Shut Yo Mouth Fools | 20 Comments

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Ted?

Some smart-ass dropped off a copy of Boehner’s new book at my office. It’s even signed! I filed it in the appropriate place. pic.twitter.com/dQGxofdcCf — Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) April 13, 2021 Come’on Ayatollah Ted, you could use it for beach … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz | 8 Comments