Category Archives: Ayatollah Ted Cruz

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs Smarmy Ayatollah Ted Cruz knows an Elmer Gantry style grifter when he sees one, and so for a while he endorsed Roy Moore (professional courtesy? Yes.), but, alas and alack! no more: “As it stands, I … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Coach Dave, conspiracy theories, Roy Moore, snark, Theocrats | 2 Comments

It’s Got A Beat

Oh, gross: Republican Senator Ted Cruz became the butt of more than a few jokes overnight after it was revealed that he had “liked” a 2-minute porn video from the account @SexuallPosts. (Links in this post are NSFW.) And amazingly, … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Family Values, Y'all Qaeda | 7 Comments

Eye for an Eye Chronicles, Cont.

Hey guys, remember that time when… “The United States Senate should not be in the business of exploiting victims of natural disasters to fund pork projects that further expand our debt.” — Sen. Ayatollah Ted, showing his authentic Xristian self … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Y'all Qaeda | 10 Comments

Hostage Takers To Take Hostage

And we turn to the WaPo for our now annual-future hostage-taking, the Debt Ceiling: [Human typo Steven Mnuchin] is hurtling toward his first fiasco, unable to get Congress, let alone his colleagues in the Trump administration, on board with a … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Claim Chowder | 1 Comment

Incompetence Takes A Holiday

Why is seems like only yesterday we noted that the Freedom Caucus was leading the reverse-Charge of the Not-Brite Brigade to stay in town and away from the pitchfork and torch crowd. From the Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Healthcare Reform, Healthcare Repeal | 1 Comment

CruzCare is Coming At Us

Ayatollah Ted and his minion Mike Lee are plotting new and different ways to take away your healthcare and leave you broke, and probably destroy insurance markets everywhere. All Cruz needs is Blofeld’s cat (or maybe Mike Lee is his … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Healthcare Reform, Healthcare Repeal, Y'all Qaeda | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Bring the Hook!

Well, Ayatollah Ted, at least it wasn’t Keyboard Cat playing you off the stage.

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Y'all Qaeda | 4 Comments

Grifters Gotta Grift

The FEC says that Ted Cruz, the Goldman-Sachs hating politician married to a Goldman-Sachs executive did not report loans from Goldman-Sachs that funded his 2012 Senate Campaign, in which as a populist he ran against Wall Street banks like Goldman-Sachs. The finding, … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz | 1 Comment

Poll: Sen. Ted Cruz is losing to, well, everyone not Ted Cruz

The Hill tells us that Ayatollah Ted is in trouble: Rep. Joaquin Castro (D-Texas) edges out Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) in a potential 2018 Senate matchup, a new poll shows. I guess they have not forgiven Cruz’s dad for killing … Continue reading

Posted in 4th Reich, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Hair Führer Donald Trump, Texas, Y'all Qaeda | 3 Comments

Attorney General: Ted Cruz?

Sweet Baby Jeebus, NO! Ted Cruz Considered by Trump for Attorney General Would Cruz really work for the guy who suggested his father conspired to kill President Kennedy and insulted his wife? Why yes. Yes he would. There is no … Continue reading

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Hair Führer Donald Trump, Y'all Qaeda | 11 Comments