Category Archives: Rapture-a-thon

♬ I’m In Hebbin🎶

For those of you who have been longing to see Crazy Unkka Pat floating butt-nekkid overhead, as he is raptured-up to Hebbin, set your calendars for this weekend! Earlier this year, Xristian predictor-dude David Meade predicted that Nibiru (a previously … Continue reading

Posted in Rapture-a-thon, Xristian Xraxies | 4 Comments

Jefferson Beauregard Stonewall Sessions and the Last Crusade

Noted Xristian retailer of googly eyes and scrapbooking shit for the bored opioid’ed housewives of Possum Hollar, Hobby Lobby has gotten themselves in a wee bit of trouble for stealing religious antiquities from Iraq, probably for some sort of Last … Continue reading

Posted in 4th Reich, Jefferson Beauregard 'Stonewall' Sessions III, Rapture-a-thon, Xristian Xraxies | 4 Comments

Cindy Jacobs Wants To “Harvest” The Jews

Our Lady of Good Shoe Wear and Bountiful Pasta, self-proclaimed prophet Cindy Jacobs waddles about the stage and nasally tells us that… “…“that one of the things I believe that’s going to bring a great harvest of Jews is the … Continue reading

Posted in Anti-Semitism, Cindy Jacobs, Rapture-a-thon, Theocrats, Xristian Xraxies | 10 Comments

Move Over NBC, Cindy Jacobs YouTube Gonna Eat Your Lunch

Our Lady of Bountiful Pasta and Good Shoe Wear, self-proclaimed prophet Cindy Jacobs tells us… I think her juice box must have fermented.

Posted in Cindy Jacobs, Rapture-a-thon, Theocrats, Xristian Xraxies | 2 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs OMG, you guys! World Nut Daily founder Joseph Farah admits that climate change is real and that we humans are responsible!!1! I used to be a “denier,” as those who sacrifice their reasoning ability at the … Continue reading

Posted in Rapture-a-thon, snark, Xristian Xraxies | 10 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs This one defies all description: the Xristian Xrazies (“intercessors”) are going to march around the White House, chanting prayers,  for a week to blow down the walls like Jericho as the avowed wall builder hisself, Russian … Continue reading

Posted in Rapture-a-thon, Xristian Xraxies | 12 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs World Nut Daily: URGENT WARNING: ‘ARMY OF DEMONS’ ON LOOSE Indeed? Satanic groups openly organize against Christianity, even at Christmas… That’s called retail. Get off the cross, buddy. And trendy festivals like Burning Man are increasingly … Continue reading

Posted in Rapture-a-thon, Theocrats, Xristian Xraxies | 7 Comments

Coach Dave Mansplains Why You Cannot Vote For Hillay, No Matter What

“Because the Bible says so.” What Coach Dave doesn’t tell us is why the Bible says this, but I will: it is because Eve caused the Fall, and the Xristians have had it out for women ever since.

Posted in Rapture-a-thon, Theocrats, Xristian Xraxies | 23 Comments

Frothy’s Day Job…

…just Santorum’ed out another movie: Yup: I’m calling it The Crapture.

Posted in Pop Culture, Rapture-a-thon, Rick 'Frothy' Santorum (Ew! Gross!), Xristian Xraxies | 8 Comments

Texans Know Their A-B-3’s

The Texas Supreme has ruled in favor of the family who home-schooled their NINE kids and actually did not teach them anything because they were gonna be raptured up to Hebbin to sit with Jeebus: Laura and Michael McIntyre began … Continue reading

Posted in Crazeee States, Rapture-a-thon, Texas, Xristian Xraxies | 7 Comments