Category Archives: Matt Gaetz

Professional Courtesy

Looks like Trump autographed an article on Matt Gaetz defending himself against ongoing sex trafficking investigation Trump wrote: “Matt, This is Great…Keep fighting – You will WIN!” https://t.co/LRtvzQeND5 pic.twitter.com/CR2MQ2ljQq — Will Steakin (@wsteaks) June 14, 2022 Water truly does seek … Continue reading

Posted in Hair Führer Donald Trump, Matt Gaetz, Sex fiends | 1 Comment

Happy Birthday Matt Gaetz

I understand there is gonna be a pony ride, and a magician, and a clown, and two kinds of cake with ice cream. And free kitties and puppies as party favors!

Posted in Matt Gaetz, Sex fiends | 6 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Matt Gaetz is worried about The Skirts: How many of the women rallying against overturning Roe are over-educated, under-loved millennials who sadly return from protests to a lonely microwave dinner with their cats, and no bumble matches? … Continue reading

Posted in Matt Gaetz, Sex fiends | 9 Comments

Republicans Are The Problem

Alert readers and good Scissorheads may recall that when the January 6 Committee was being formed, House Speaker Nancy ’Smash’ Pelosi refused to accept Gym Jordan as a participant, and it seems she was prescient: WASHINGTON (AP) — Rioters who … Continue reading

Posted in Gym Jordan, Hair Führer Donald Trump, Insurrection, K-Mac Kevin McCarthy, Legitimate Political Discourse, Matt Gaetz, Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet, Rep. 3-names Perjury Taylor Greene, Screwie Louie Gohmert, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The Stupid Coup | 6 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News He seems nice: Matt Gaetz, one of the 193 House Republicans who voted against capping the price of life-saving insulin at $35 a month for most Americans last week, has justified his vote by saying that diabetes … Continue reading

Posted in 2022 Pie Fight, Affordable Care Act, Matt Gaetz | 12 Comments

Man Declines Offer He Cannot Refuse

Guys, remember when noted underaged sex fiend (ALLGED!) and columbian nose candy enthusiast (ALLEGED) (and probably Maddie Cawthorn’s orgy enabling coke fiend friend ALLEGED) said that if the Republicans re-took the House,  he was going to nominate Hair Füror to … Continue reading

Posted in 2022 Pie Fight, Hair Führer Donald Trump, Madison Cawthorn, Roller Nazi, Matt Gaetz, Sex fiends | 11 Comments

Your Move, K-Mac

Gaetz: I’m going to nominate Donald Trump for Speaker of The US House of Representatives pic.twitter.com/1MeVrwVIjI — Acyn (@Acyn) March 27, 2022 Now will you kick him out of your caucus, K-Mac? (Sorry for the lite posting today: I’m hosting … Continue reading

Posted in Hair Führer Donald Trump, K-Mac Kevin McCarthy, Matt Gaetz, Sex fiends | 5 Comments

BREAKING: Another Gaetz’ Pal Pleads Guilty

Matt Gaetz, America’s aging prom date, must be cancelling the wrist corsage by now: “Big Joe” Ellicott, a former Florida shock jock with potentially key information about the sex trafficking ring involving Rep. Matt Gaetz, has pleaded guilty in federal … Continue reading

Posted in Matt Gaetz, Sex fiends | 2 Comments

Did She Get A Hall Pass?

America’s Aging Prom Date, Rep. Matt Gaetz’s ex is singing to the grand jury, and probably not a lullaby: Rep. Matt Gaetz’s (R-FL) ex-girlfriend testified Wednesday before a federal grand jury investigating him for sex crimes, a major development that … Continue reading

Posted in Matt Gaetz, Sex fiends | 4 Comments

Achievement Unlocked!

We said earlier that America’s Aging Prom Date’s soundbite was going to be used in ads, we just didn’t expect it to be so soon: When Republicans tell you who they are, listen. pic.twitter.com/5PssxsZ55i — The Democrats (@TheDemocrats) December 9, … Continue reading

Posted in 2022 Pie Fight, 4th Reich, Matt Gaetz, Sex fiends | 9 Comments