Category Archives: Coach Dave

News That Will Drive You to Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs Our old pal, theocrat Coach Dave mansplains to us how masturbation = homosexuality. You MUST give this one a listen: His argument is arrested at about 12 years of age (“you’re having it with yourself, you … Continue reading

Posted in Coach Dave | 6 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs Coach Dave puts on his tin foil hat (BUZZZ!!1!) and says, “I don’t even know what I’m missing, but I’m missing something.” IT GOES RIGHT TO THE TOP! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!1! Truer words were never spoken.

Posted in Coach Dave, Conspiracy Theories, Theocrats | 6 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs Our old pal Coach Dave celebrates Women’s History Month! Let’s listen! Someone’s sleeping on the couch tonight, methinks.

Posted in Coach Dave, Mansplaining, sexism, Theocrats, War on Women | 5 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs Our old pal Coach Dave wants to know why none of the wrestlers or football players tackled the kid with the AR-15: The best part? At 21:45 one of his audience members asks why no teacher … Continue reading

Posted in Coach Dave, Guns! Guns! Guns!, Theocrats | 2 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs There is no such thing as an accident in Coach Dave’s world: EVERYTHING is a conspiracy, including garbage trucks breaking down.

Posted in Coach Dave, Conspiracy Theories, Theocrats, Xristian Xraxies | 6 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs With so much calamity and despair in the news today, I thought we could take a moment and consider the Bible. Coach Dave, will you give us some thoughts on it? A SISSY BIBLE?! Not the … Continue reading

Posted in Coach Dave, Theocrats | 7 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs And now it can be told: The Kenyan Usurper was off having gay sex in a hotel somewhere the night of Benghazi: Coach Dave’s guest is Firehouse Prophet Mark Taylor, whom you may recall told us … Continue reading

Posted in Coach Dave, Mark Taylor, snark, The Freemasons, The Illuminati are comin' to getcha, Theocrats | 7 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs Smarmy Ayatollah Ted Cruz knows an Elmer Gantry style grifter when he sees one, and so for a while he endorsed Roy Moore (professional courtesy? Yes.), but, alas and alack! no more: “As it stands, I … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Coach Dave, Conspiracy Theories, Roy Moore, snark, Theocrats | 2 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs Our old pal Coach Dave has a prediction for us: Oh, man, it’s like taking Quatloos from a baby! A whiney, diaper-loaded baby, but a baby!

Posted in Coach Dave, Sex fiends, Theocrats | 5 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs Don’t make Coach Dave do it, he doesn’t want to be judgmental (spoiler alert: yes he does): OK, YOU MADE HIM DO IT!!! “Hurricane Harvey is God’s judgment on Houston for abortion and having recently had … Continue reading

Posted in Choice, Coach Dave, Forced Birth, Homophobia, Theocrats, War on Women | 14 Comments