Category Archives: Petunia and Pals

Your Sunday Sermonette:

“Blessed are the piece-holders.” Fox News’ stock in trade is to keep The Olds afeered fer thar lives in Possum Hollar, and so having Dallas’ pastor Jeffress on the Sunday Talkies to tell cowering white Fox viewers that the Cops … Continue reading

Posted in Death of the Media, Guns! Guns! Guns!, media, Petunia and Pals | 12 Comments

Shorter Petunia and Pals’ Guest…

“Fellow millennials: Get off my lawn” Petunia and Pals just gave this self-loathing twerp the ultimate gold-star participation award!

Posted in Death of the Media, media, Petunia and Pals | 7 Comments

Patriotic Petunia And Pals Wins The Morning!

Winning the Morning! Petunia and Pals is worried that Lady Liberty is a dude in a dress and is gonna molest some lady in the restroom and therefore cannot pee here or sumpin’: And no, your eyes are not deceiving … Continue reading

Posted in holidays, Independence Day, Petunia and Pals, snark | 7 Comments

Petunia and Pals Wins the Morning!

The Death of the Media Taking a page from Boycott Queen Linda Harvey’s playbook (and thankfully not from her folder of sexual anarchists), Wayne Allen Root calls for a boycott of Apple, and oddly, presumptively claims victory: “And I know … Continue reading

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Death of the Media, media, Petunia and Pals, Tucker Carlson | 4 Comments

Your Sunday Bottomless Flute of Stupid is Served

Hebephrenic TeeVee Dinner heir, vanity press owner, and Black Studies scholar Tucker Carlson explains to us that banning assault rifles will only result in terrorists using crockpots: “Well, a crock pot caused those killings at the Boston Marathon. I think … Continue reading

Posted in Death of the Media, media, Petunia and Pals, Tucker Carlson | 13 Comments

Petunia and Pals Wins the Morning… AGAIN!

¡Geraldo! was on and as his M.O., he likes to blame the victims: “When you’re in that situation and you have no weapons, you have two choices. If you can’t hide and you can’t run, you have two choices. You … Continue reading

Posted in Fox News, media, Petunia and Pals, Talentless Hacks | 5 Comments

Petunia and Pals Wins The Morning!

Because of course you would invite on Herman Cain, the pizza guy who didn’t get nominated in 2012 to bloviate about how Trump will win in 2016: 1 – 2- 3: easy as bread. You just need everyone to vote … Continue reading

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Black Walnut, Fox News, media, Petunia and Pals, Talentless Hacks | 6 Comments

Petunia and Pals Wins Sunday Morning!

The Death of the Media I’d close my shop, too, to avoid these cretins. Say, why don’t they just ask teevee dinner heir Tucker Carlson? I’m sure his family must have sold teevee dinners with hot dogs sometime!

Posted in Death of the Media, Fox News, media, Petunia and Pals, Talentless Hacks | 1 Comment

Petunia and Pals Wins the Morning!

Oh, sweet Jeebus: Texas AG Ken Paxton (Motto: “Making Screwie Louie Gohmert look smarter every day”) has joined the Bathroom Brigade with noted gender studies scholar The Dumb One on the curvey couch: “This opens the door to all kinds … Continue reading

Posted in Crazeee States, Petunia and Pals, Texas, transphobia, Your Kinda Cannot Pee Here | 4 Comments

The Morning Quote

The Death of the Media Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) shows us how Fox and Friends leads the witness (or witless in this case): “Don’t you think he — [Hillary Clinton] is saying I’m going to put [Bill] … Continue reading

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Death of the Media, Hair Furer, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Petunia and Pals, Tiger Beat in the Potomac | 1 Comment