Category Archives: People Dumber than Dolphins

After You, Buddy

Posted on April 1, 2020 by

From the appropriately named tool, Sen. Johnson (R – WI) in USA Today: “Each year, approximately 48,000 Americans commit suicide and an estimated 67,000 die of a drug overdose. That level of individual despair has occurred in a strong economy … Continue reading →

Posted in Pandemics, People Dumber than Dolphins | 6 Comments

Priorities!

Posted on March 27, 2020 by

“all my friends are saying you know, this is not a priority, people are dying and i realize that, but they can’t get their nails done” pic.twitter.com/UnkqFdvvmp — Bobby Lewis (@revrrlewis) March 26, 2020 The Dumb one and even the … Continue reading →

Posted in Fox News, People Dumber than Dolphins, Petunia and Pals | 6 Comments

Simpleton Math

Posted on March 19, 2020 by

GOP Senator Upbeat Coronavirus May Kill ‘No More Than 3.4 Percent of Our Population’ It’s RoJo; why do you ask? “I’m not denying what a nasty disease COVID-19 can be, and how it’s obviously devastating to somewhere between 1 and … Continue reading →

Posted in Pandemics, People Dumber than Dolphins | 14 Comments

Marco Apologizes for Typo, Makes New One

Posted on March 16, 2020 by

I apologize for the typo. I meant to type stupid rumors about marital law not marshall law My bad https://t.co/vK5ED6M98r — Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) March 16, 2020 I guess the Rubios are divorcing? Developing…

Posted in Marco 'Big Gulp' Rubio, People Dumber than Dolphins, snark | 11 Comments

Deep Thoughts From Devin Nunes

Posted on March 16, 2020 by

Honest-to-blog, this moron said this to that other moron Fox News’s Maria Bartiromo: “If you’re healthy, you and your family, it’s a great time to just go out and go to a local restaurant, likely you can get in easily. … Continue reading →

Posted in Devin Nunes, Pandemics, People Dumber than Dolphins | 6 Comments

QED Bitchez: You Cannot Investigate A Sitting Prznint For ANY Crimes!

Posted on October 24, 2019 by

Clue: In the Conservatory On 5th Ave.*, Gun, Mango-hued Shitgibbon Prznint Stupid’s sharks, er, lawyers literally argued that if Comrade Stupid shot someone on 5th Avenue in NYC in broad daylight, law enforcement officers couldn’t do anything about it while … Continue reading →

Posted in Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, People Dumber than Dolphins | 14 Comments

‘If Oliver Wendell Douglas Could Buy Green Acres…’

Posted on August 21, 2019 by

“…then why can’t I buy Greenland?” Denmark is a very special country with incredible people, but based on Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen’s comments, that she would have no interest in discussing the purchase of Greenland, I will be postponing our … Continue reading →

Posted in Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, People Dumber than Dolphins, Pop Culture | 10 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Posted on August 5, 2019 by

Happy Hour News Briefs Let’s listen as Gawd’s own historian, Dave Barton (no doctorate, so no honorific), explains to us why fetus-fondling gawd-botherers have more civil rights than the rest of us: That’s a novel interpretation of the First Amendment! … Continue reading →

Posted in Blog Against Theocracy, David Barton, First Amendment, People Dumber than Dolphins, Theocrats | 4 Comments

Pounds Head On Desk Looking For Sweet, Sweet Relief

Posted on July 23, 2019 by

Oh, jeebus. The United KINGSTON?!!! Whatever happened to the Prince of Whales? (Hat tip: Scissorhead D-Cap)

Posted in Congratulations, Ivanka-ka, The First Shady, People Dumber than Dolphins | 14 Comments

That Didn’t Take Long!

Posted on May 21, 2019 by

Federal Judge Amit Mehta upheld a Democratic subpoena for Prznint McGrifter’s personal and business financial records. The ruling is the first by a federal judge considering Prznint Stupid’s legal efforts to avoid congressional subpoenas and could set a legal precedent … Continue reading →

Posted in Little-Kremlin-on-the-Potomac, People Dumber than Dolphins, Tax Cheat | 2 Comments