Category Archives: People Dumber than Dolphins

After You, Buddy

From the appropriately named tool, Sen. Johnson (R – WI) in USA Today: “Each year, approximately 48,000 Americans commit suicide and an estimated 67,000 die of a drug overdose. That level of individual despair has occurred in a strong economy … Continue reading

Posted in Pandemics, People Dumber than Dolphins | 6 Comments


“all my friends are saying you know, this is not a priority, people are dying and i realize that, but they can’t get their nails done” — Bobby Lewis (@revrrlewis) March 26, 2020 The Dumb one and even the … Continue reading

Posted in Fox News, People Dumber than Dolphins, Petunia and Pals | 6 Comments

Simpleton Math

GOP Senator Upbeat Coronavirus May Kill ‘No More Than 3.4 Percent of Our Population’ It’s RoJo; why do you ask? “I’m not denying what a nasty disease COVID-19 can be, and how it’s obviously devastating to somewhere between 1 and … Continue reading

Posted in Pandemics, People Dumber than Dolphins | 14 Comments

Marco Apologizes for Typo, Makes New One

I apologize for the typo. I meant to type stupid rumors about marital law not marshall law My bad — Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) March 16, 2020 I guess the Rubios are divorcing? Developing…

Posted in Marco 'Big Gulp' Rubio, People Dumber than Dolphins, snark | 11 Comments

Deep Thoughts From Devin Nunes

Honest-to-blog, this moron said this to that other moron Fox News’s Maria Bartiromo: “If you’re healthy, you and your family, it’s a great time to just go out and go to a local restaurant, likely you can get in easily. … Continue reading

Posted in Devin Nunes, Pandemics, People Dumber than Dolphins | 6 Comments

QED Bitchez: You Cannot Investigate A Sitting Prznint For ANY Crimes!

Clue: In the Conservatory On 5th Ave.*, Gun, Mango-hued Shitgibbon Prznint Stupid’s sharks, er, lawyers literally argued that if Comrade Stupid shot someone on 5th Avenue in NYC in broad daylight, law enforcement officers couldn’t do anything about it while … Continue reading

Posted in Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, People Dumber than Dolphins | 14 Comments

‘If Oliver Wendell Douglas Could Buy Green Acres…’

“…then why can’t I buy Greenland?” Denmark is a very special country with incredible people, but based on Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen’s comments, that she would have no interest in discussing the purchase of Greenland, I will be postponing our … Continue reading

Posted in Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, People Dumber than Dolphins, Pop Culture | 10 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs Let’s listen as Gawd’s own historian, Dave Barton (no doctorate, so no honorific), explains to us why fetus-fondling gawd-botherers have more civil rights than the rest of us: That’s a novel interpretation of the First Amendment! … Continue reading

Posted in Blog Against Theocracy, David Barton, First Amendment, People Dumber than Dolphins, Theocrats | 4 Comments

Pounds Head On Desk Looking For Sweet, Sweet Relief

Oh, jeebus. The United KINGSTON?!!! Whatever happened to the Prince of Whales? (Hat tip: Scissorhead D-Cap)

Posted in Congratulations, Ivanka-ka, The First Shady, People Dumber than Dolphins | 14 Comments

That Didn’t Take Long!

Federal Judge Amit Mehta upheld a Democratic subpoena for Prznint McGrifter’s personal and business financial records. The ruling is the first by a federal judge considering Prznint Stupid’s legal efforts to avoid congressional subpoenas and could set a legal precedent … Continue reading

Posted in Little-Kremlin-on-the-Potomac, People Dumber than Dolphins, Tax Cheat | 2 Comments