Category Archives: NeoCons

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs Noted Beaker cosplayer Senator Tom Cotton does the very complicated move that ice skaters everywhere fear the most: the Triple Axle of Doublespeak: “There will be some sacrifice on the part of Americans, I grant you … Continue reading

Posted in NeoCons, Tom Cotton | 8 Comments

Trump Continues To Punish Puerto Rico For Needing Disaster Relief While Brown

An emergency aid bill for victims of hurricanes, wildfires, and other natural disasters was defeated in the Senate amid a fight between Democrats and Hair Füror over relief for Puerto Rico: “Senate Democrats opposed the $13.45-billion legislation, saying the $600 … Continue reading

Posted in global climate change, NeoCons, racism, The New Confederacy, White Punks on Dope, Wingnuttia, Y'all Qaeda | 7 Comments

Mooselini Has Regrets

“I was kind of surprised to be publicly disinvited to the funeral. I think that was an unnecessary step. [The McCain family] didn’t have to embarrass me and embarrass others … other good people in our campaign back in 2008 … Continue reading

Posted in Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, Grandpa Walnuts, Mooselini | 18 Comments

Marco Rubio! Man of Destiny!

Marco Rubio sprang from his bed, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and declared that indeed, Today is the Day I will Be a Man of Destiny! And thus, he rushed to Fox News to pen an editorial that will surely stand the test … Continue reading

Posted in Marco 'Big Gulp' Rubio | 6 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs Our thin-skinned stable genius went to Ohio to talk about industry, and somehow ended up eulogizing Grandpa Walnuts: “I gave him the kind of funeral that he wanted, which as President I had to approve. I … Continue reading

Posted in Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, Grandpa Walnuts | 11 Comments

The Wall Will Be Built

Axios: “The Senate voted on Thursday to 59-41 to terminate the president’s emergency declaration on what Trump describes as a national security crisis at the U.S.-Mexico border, but the final tally fell short of the required 2/3 needed to override … Continue reading

Posted in Amply Be-Chinned Mitch, Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, NeoCons, racism, The New Confederacy, White Punks on Dope, Wingnuttia, Y'all Qaeda | 8 Comments

Marco Rubio, Man of Destiny! (Part Infinity)

As regular readers and Good Scissorheads know, Mock Paper Scissors believes every morning Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio, the Cold Warrior for a New Generation, and beloved grandson figure of Wingnuts over the age of 65 and under the age of … Continue reading

Posted in Marco 'Big Gulp' Rubio, snark | 9 Comments

UPDATED: The National Emergency That Isn’t

Today is the day that Nancy Pelosi will hold a vote to rebuke Prznint Stupid for declaring a national emergency at the border. It is expected to easily be passed by the House and then splat onto amply be-chinned Mitch … Continue reading

Posted in 4th Reich, Amply Be-Chinned Mitch, Ben Sassee, Comrade Preznint Stupid, The Russian Usurper, Marco 'Big Gulp' Rubio, Nancy Pelosi, racism, Rand 'Schrödinger's Senator' Paul, White Punks on Dope, Willard, Wingnuttia | 8 Comments

Rubio Releases Statement on Trump’s Usurping Power

Regular readers know that MPS is firmly of the belief that each morning, Sen. Marco Rubio springs out of bed saying that “Today I will become a man of Destiny!” and each night after brushing his teeth and putting on … Continue reading

Posted in Marco 'Big Gulp' Rubio | 9 Comments

Quote of the Day

“I fail to understand why members of this committee or the American people should find any testimony that you give today to be truthful.” — U.S. Rep. Ilhan Omar, to State Department’s special representative to Venezuela, Elliott Abrams, over his … Continue reading

Posted in Elliott Abrams, NeoCons | 5 Comments