Category Archives: Crazeee States

PizzaGaetz, Cont.

Long-in-the-tooth Prom King Matt Gaetz’ mobile phone was seized by “federal agents [who] executed a search warrant and seized his iPhone, according to interviews with three people who were told of the matter by Gaetz, who changed his phone number … Continue reading

Posted in Floriduh, Matt Gaetz, Ron DeSantis, Sex fiends | 1 Comment

Meanwhile, in North* Carolina

Hey guys, remember this guy, former Gubnor Pat ‘Bathroom Bill’ McRory of South North Carolina (Motto: the seething hotbed of unbridled lust). He’s running for US Senate now, what with anti-trans legislation and subsequent boycotts are in the headlines, I guess … Continue reading

Posted in Crazeee States, SC Seething Hotbed of Unbridled Lust, The Closet of Lindsey Graham, Transphobia, Your Kind Cannot Compete Here | 7 Comments

Arizona Takes Pole Position in Crazee State Race

The terrible sand people of the terrible sand kingdom of Arizonastan have a terrible candidate running for the Secretary of State, according to Vice: This QAnon-Loving ‘Stop the Steal’ Leader Wants to Be Arizona’s Next Secretary of State As a … Continue reading

Posted in Arizonastan, Crazeee States, Q-spiracy, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The Stupid Coup | 6 Comments

Texas Sen. Cornyn Needs A Fix

Sen. John Cornyn (the Ron Johnson of Louis Gohmerts) is having withdrawals from the hourly twitty-twatting of TFG. : Invites the question: is he really in charge? — Senator John Cornyn (@JohnCornyn) April 12, 2021 Also, this is a pretty … Continue reading

Posted in People Dumber than Dolphins, Texas, America's Lab for Bad Policy | 6 Comments

Ah, Texas!

It must be spring: the hay fever, the birdies building nests, Texas threatening to secede: Texas GOP chairman Allen West falsely says Texas could secede from the US: ‘We could go back to being our own Republic’ Just leave already. … Continue reading

Posted in Texas, America's Lab for Bad Policy | 16 Comments

Sen. Marsha Blackburn: Super-Genius!

Guys, she’s trying to prove that the Infrastructure Bill is the work of Ol’ Scratch hisself, but I think she’s actually helping us. Anyway, the Pride of Tennessee sent out a series of tweets telling the world what is in … Continue reading

Posted in People Dumber than Dolphins, Sen. Marsha Blackburn, Tennessee | 3 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Well, this is not progress: I signed constitutional carry today because it shouldn’t be hard for law-abiding Tennesseans to exercise their #2A rights. Thank you members of the General Assembly and @NRA for helping get this done. … Continue reading

Posted in Ammosexuals, Crazeee States, Gundamentalists, Guns! Guns! Guns!, NRA, Tennessee, wayne lapierre | 11 Comments

Georgia: ‘Let Them Eat Cake, Delivered By UberEats’

Kemp* addresses the least problematic aspect of their new Jim Crow laws: “They can order a pizza. They can order Grubhub or UberEats, right?” –Georgeduh Gubnor Brian Kemp* The food & water thingie is a distraction, me peeps, and it … Continue reading

Posted in Crazeee States, Georgeduh, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), voting | 8 Comments

‘It’s Floriduh, Jake’

Gov. Ron DeSantis of Floriduh (Motto: Home of the newly wed and the nearly dead)  is clearly moving into 2024 Goat Rodeo territory: Florida governor bans Covid-19 ‘vaccine passports’ Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed an executive order Friday banning the … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Crazeee States, Floriduh, Pandemics, Ron DeSantis, Vaccine | 7 Comments

PizzaGaetz, Cont.

Hey guys, did you hear that the Justice Department has been investigating human-sized bobblehead Matt Gaetz and his buddy former Floriduh politician Joel Greenberg —who is currently facing at least 33 federal charges— over cash payments they made (ALLEGEDLY!) to women … Continue reading

Posted in Floriduh, Matt Gaetz, Sex fiends | 20 Comments