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Category Archives: Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet
2024 Goat Rodeo Update
This headline, if read quickly as I did, got my hopes up: Pence flatlines as 2024 field takes shape Oh, well. DES MOINES, Iowa — Mike Pence was met by a respectful, even warm, crowd in his first trip back … Continue reading
Report: Invertebrate Finds Spine, Loses Spine
2024 Goat Rodeo Update When last we saw the Walking Termite Buffet, Mike Pence was delicately meeping that he and Hair Füror would never see eye-to-eye on the Stupid Coup of January 6, acting like one would if one’s partner … Continue reading
Republicans Cancel Pence
2024 Goat Rodeo Mike Pence, the walking termite buffet, appeared before the Faith & Freedom Coalition (Ralph Reed’s —Jack Abramoff’s glabrous grifting pool boy— marks), and got promptly boo’ed and spontaneously interrupted by chants of TRAITOR from the Xristian Xrazies: … Continue reading
Happy Birthday Mike Pence!
We don’t know Pence’s age, but I suppose we could count the rings. (We were gonna make a joke someone that wooden being near that much fire, but it seemed ageist.)
Mike Pence Turns The Other Cheek?
Walking termite buffet Mike Pence is unusually forgiving, you know, after his boss sicc’ed a mob on him with the goal to hang him, but that’s just the kinda guy he is, I guess? (Weak and worthless? You betcha!) (CNN)Former … Continue reading
Report: Grifters Spotted in Indiana
Look out, Indiana, a pestilence of Biblical proportions is heading your way as fetus-fondling gawd-botheres Mother Pence and the Walking Termite Buffet make plans to return to the scene of the crime: Exclusive: ‘No place like home,’ Karen Pence says … Continue reading
News That Will Drive You To Drink
Happy Hour News Guys, they called in an arborist to to get the sap moving in our Walking Termite Buffet: Former Vice President Pence gets pacemaker implanted, expects full recovery The story doesn’t mention if they had to do an … Continue reading
Yup, He’s Running
As if more proof is needed that a block of wood can run: Just announced: "Former VP Mike Pence will publish his autobiography with Simon & Schuster." It's part of a two-book deal. "The first book is tentatively scheduled for … Continue reading
Anyone Ever See A Block of Wood Run?
Who knew that there were GQPers who didn’t want to hang Pence? What a world! (Axios, so all the enigmatic emboldening are theirs as is a bullet list of one item.) 2024 watch: Mike Pence’s next move Former Vice President … Continue reading
A 2024 Stealth Goat Emerges
The last time we heard from walking termite buffet former VP Mike Pence he was ululating at the moon, er, narrating the Junkie Limbaugh documentary. Imagine our shock to learn that Mr. Somnambulant has ambitions to sniff inherit the throne! … Continue reading
