Category Archives: Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet

2024 Goat Rodeo Update

This headline, if read quickly as I did, got my hopes up: Pence flatlines as 2024 field takes shape Oh, well. DES MOINES, Iowa — Mike Pence was met by a respectful, even warm, crowd in his first trip back … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet, Xristian Xraxies, Y'all Qaeda | 6 Comments

Report: Invertebrate Finds Spine, Loses Spine

2024 Goat Rodeo Update When last we saw the Walking Termite Buffet, Mike Pence was delicately meeping that he and Hair Füror would never see eye-to-eye on the Stupid Coup of January 6, acting like one would if one’s partner … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet | 4 Comments

Republicans Cancel Pence

2024 Goat Rodeo Mike Pence, the walking termite buffet, appeared before the Faith & Freedom Coalition (Ralph Reed’s —Jack Abramoff’s glabrous grifting pool boy— marks), and got promptly boo’ed and spontaneously interrupted by chants of TRAITOR from the Xristian Xrazies: … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet | 14 Comments

Happy Birthday Mike Pence!

We don’t know Pence’s age, but I suppose we could count the rings. (We were gonna make a joke someone that wooden being near that much fire, but it seemed ageist.)

Posted in Happy Birthday, Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet | 3 Comments

Mike Pence Turns The Other Cheek?

Walking termite buffet Mike Pence is unusually forgiving, you know, after his boss sicc’ed a mob on him with the goal to hang him, but that’s just the kinda guy he is, I guess? (Weak and worthless? You betcha!) (CNN)Former … Continue reading

Posted in Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet, The Stupid Coup | 14 Comments

Report: Grifters Spotted in Indiana

Look out, Indiana, a pestilence of Biblical proportions is heading your way as fetus-fondling gawd-botheres Mother Pence and the Walking Termite Buffet make plans to return to the scene of the crime: Exclusive: ‘No place like home,’ Karen Pence says … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Grifters Gotta Grift, Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet | 4 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Guys, they called in an arborist to to get the sap moving in our Walking Termite Buffet: Former Vice President Pence gets pacemaker implanted, expects full recovery The story doesn’t mention if they had to do an … Continue reading

Posted in Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet, snark | 7 Comments

Yup, He’s Running

As if more proof is needed that a block of wood can run: Just announced: "Former VP Mike Pence will publish his autobiography with Simon & Schuster." It's part of a two-book deal. "The first book is tentatively scheduled for … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet | 6 Comments

Anyone Ever See A Block of Wood Run?

Who knew that there were GQPers who didn’t want to hang Pence? What a world! (Axios, so all the enigmatic emboldening are theirs as is a bullet list of one item.) 2024 watch: Mike Pence’s next move Former Vice President … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet, Our Failed Political Press | 7 Comments

A 2024 Stealth Goat Emerges

The last time we heard from walking termite buffet former VP Mike Pence he was ululating at the moon, er, narrating the Junkie Limbaugh documentary. Imagine our shock to learn that Mr. Somnambulant has ambitions to sniff inherit the throne! … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, 4th Reich, Mike Pence, the Walking Termite Buffet, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The Stupid Coup | 7 Comments