Category Archives: Melancholia Trump

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News The centerfold has left the building: A Farewell Message from First Lady Melania Trump — Melania Trump (@FLOTUS) January 18, 2021 TL;DW Be Best, Mel, but be gone.

Posted in Melancholia Trump | 3 Comments

Mel Addresses Us Peasants

Mel has written her farewell letter, and boy howdy, it’s a festivus-style airing of grievances: “As your First Lady, it has been inspiring to witness firsthand what the people of our great Nation will do for one another, especially when … Continue reading

Posted in Melancholia Trump | 15 Comments

And Now, A Word From The First Shady, Vanky

Rebuttals How to ivanka (final version in my special ))). . — Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) December 28, 2020 Damn, Cooper is really good. (Hat tip: Scissorhead Fran)

Posted in 2-drink minimum, Ivanka-ka, The First Shady, Melancholia Trump | 5 Comments

Pop Quiz!

Lord Damp Nut moans that Mel is not a cover girl, too, when the boys of Breitbart, (Sweet Jeebus!) complain that she’s not in their current spank bank: The greatest of all time. Fake News! — Donald J. Trump … Continue reading

Posted in Breitbart, Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, media, Melancholia Trump, Pop Quiz! | 24 Comments

Mel Doesn’t Care, Do You?

So this happened: Mel visits a hospital that treats kids with cancer and … First lady Melania Trump broke stated mask policy at Children's National Hospital Tuesday when she removed her mask to read a holiday book to children reading

Posted in masks, Melancholia Trump, Pandemics | 16 Comments

Transition News

Mel just wants to go home, where’er that is: “In mid-November, as President Donald Trump railed against the election results, his wife, first lady Melania Trump publicly agreed with his sentiments. But privately, a handful of days after the final … Continue reading

Posted in Melancholia Trump | 13 Comments


Rejoice, Scissorheads, the long national nightmare is over! Mel can put on her tennis togs again! The First Lady announces the White House has new tennis courts — Chris Jansing (@ChrisJansing) December 7, 2020 Sure, food banks are distributing … Continue reading

Posted in Melancholia Trump, The Miracle of the Trump Economy | 5 Comments

Fashion Week Continues!

I'm not sure if Trump should pardon Tiffany, but someone must be brought to justice for this: — Paul Rudnick (@PaulRudnickNY) December 2, 2020

Posted in Fashion Week, Melancholia Trump, Tiffany Trump | 16 Comments

Yesterday’s Quote of the Day Today!

From the “If Michelle Obama Had Said It, Republicans Would Be Demanding Her Head” files: “Who gives a fuck about the Christmas stuff and decorations? I say that I’m working on Christmas and planning for the Christmas and they said, … Continue reading

Posted in Melancholia Trump, War on Christmas | 9 Comments

The Morning Quote

W$J reads Prznint Stupid’s stupidest lawyer (Sorry Rudy™ ) Michael Cohen’s book: “In his book, Mr. Cohen says Mr. Trump personally approved the payment to [Stormy] Daniels in 2016, saying $130,000 ‘is a lot less than I would have to … Continue reading

Posted in Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Melancholia Trump, Sex fiends, sexism | 12 Comments