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Electoral Vote
Category Archives: Ayatollah Ted Cruz
Thoughts and Prayers And Cancun Cruz
Ayatollah Ted Cruz had some thought to tweet following the tragedy Domestic Tuckerism in Buffalo: Amazing….At the Eagles concert tonight in Houston, is there any better song—ever—than Desperado? pic.twitter.com/qb6uvysR3k — Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) May 15, 2022 Desperado? Jeebus, is there … Continue reading
News That Will Drive You To Drink
Happy Hour News Joey Reed, father of recently released Russian prisoner and Marine Trevor Reed, thanked everyone who helped negotiate his son’s release, and had something special to say about his Senator, you know, Ayatollah Ted Cruz: “[Cruz] didn’t do … Continue reading
Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Pooty-Poot Putin
3 Comments
One Lump of Stupid or Two, Ayatollah Ted?
Sen. Ted Cruz, once famous for reading Green Eggs and Ham to the nation and who notoriously liked some mommie porn on Twitter, is now warning us that Mickey wants to raw dog Pluto: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) slams Disney … Continue reading
Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Don’t Say Gay, Homophobia
14 Comments
Breaking: 🤢 🤢 🤮
Fox News, y’all, covers the small stories, and all politics are personal.
Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Bad TV, Fox News
22 Comments
Coup News: Round-up The Usual Suspects
Guys, remember the story yesterday about U.S. District Court Judge David O. Carter saying that Hair Füror likely committed felony obstruction of justice with the Stupid Coup? You know, when he released John Eastman’s emails to the January 6 Committee? It … Continue reading
Unpack The SCOTUS
We’re glad that got back to DC in time for the Ketanji Brown Jackson confirmation hearings for Supreme Court Justice, you know, so he could make this very important point: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) refers to sexual assault allegations against Justice … Continue reading
The Betting Window is Open: Ketanji Brown Jackson v. GOP
Guys, today is the day that Ketanji Brown Jackson faces three Republican Candidates for the 2024 Goat Rodeo, er, the Senate! Will smarmy Ted Cruz, Proud-boi Lite Josh Hawley, and uncharismatic Q-tip Tom Cotton grandstand for the mouth-breathers back home, … Continue reading
Cancun Cruz Steals Hair Füror’s Schtick
Do they have tears in their eyes and call Cruz, “sir”? Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) during meeting with D.C. trucker convoy: “Almost without exception, every time I’m on an airplane, either the captain or a flight attendant will come up … Continue reading
One Lump of Stupid or Two, Gov. Abbott?
Let’s begin by saying that we hope everyone is safe and warm, but a major winter storm knocked out power to nearly 70,000 homes in Texas, before moving towards the midwest and southern states. Screw Groundhog Day, where’s Cancun Cruz? But … Continue reading
Cancun Cruz: ‘Math is Hard’
Sen. Ted Cruz (R – Cancun) has some insight to share: 6—3 is too liberal for him: Joe Biden’s real objective with the Supreme Court: nominate someone who is a liberal vote 100% of the time and someone who will … Continue reading