Category Archives: Ayatollah Ted Cruz

Thoughts and Prayers And Cancun Cruz

Ayatollah Ted Cruz had some thought to tweet following the tragedy Domestic Tuckerism in Buffalo: Amazing….At the Eagles concert tonight in Houston, is there any better song—ever—than Desperado? pic.twitter.com/qb6uvysR3k — Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) May 15, 2022 Desperado? Jeebus, is there … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Domestic Terrorism, Domestic Tuckerism, racism, snark, White Punks on Dope | 17 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Joey Reed, father of recently released Russian prisoner and Marine Trevor Reed, thanked everyone who helped negotiate his son’s release, and had something special to say about his Senator, you  know, Ayatollah Ted Cruz: “[Cruz] didn’t do … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Pooty-Poot Putin | 3 Comments

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Ayatollah Ted?

Sen. Ted Cruz, once famous for reading Green Eggs and Ham to the nation and who notoriously liked some mommie porn on Twitter, is now warning us that Mickey wants to raw dog Pluto: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) slams Disney … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Don’t Say Gay, Homophobia | 14 Comments

Breaking: 🤢 🤢 🤮

Fox News, y’all, covers the small stories, and all politics are personal.

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Bad TV, Fox News | 22 Comments

Coup News: Round-up The Usual Suspects

Guys, remember the story yesterday about U.S. District Court Judge David O. Carter saying that Hair Füror likely committed felony obstruction of justice with the Stupid Coup? You know, when he released John Eastman’s emails to the January 6 Committee? It … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Hair Führer Donald Trump, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The Stupid Coup | 3 Comments

Unpack The SCOTUS

We’re glad that got back to DC in time for the Ketanji Brown Jackson confirmation hearings for Supreme Court Justice, you know, so he could make this very important point: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) refers to sexual assault allegations against Justice … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Ketanji Brown Jackson, SCOTUS | 3 Comments

The Betting Window is Open: Ketanji Brown Jackson v. GOP

Guys, today is the day that Ketanji Brown Jackson faces three Republican Candidates for the 2024 Goat Rodeo, er, the Senate! Will smarmy Ted Cruz, Proud-boi Lite Josh Hawley, and uncharismatic Q-tip Tom Cotton grandstand for the mouth-breathers back home, … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Proud Boi-Lite Sen. Josh Hawley, Tom Cotton | 8 Comments

Cancun Cruz Steals Hair Füror’s Schtick

Do they have tears in their eyes and call Cruz, “sir”? Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) during meeting with D.C. trucker convoy: “Almost without exception, every time I’m on an airplane, either the captain or a flight attendant will come up … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Hair Führer Donald Trump | 7 Comments

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Gov. Abbott?

Let’s begin by saying that we hope everyone is safe and warm, but a major winter storm knocked out power to nearly 70,000 homes in Texas, before moving towards the midwest and southern states. Screw Groundhog Day, where’s Cancun Cruz? But … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Beto O'Rourke, climate crisis, Global Climate Crisis, Texas, America's Lab for Bad Policy | 3 Comments

Cancun Cruz: ‘Math is Hard’

Sen. Ted Cruz (R – Cancun) has some insight to share: 6—3 is too liberal for him: Joe Biden’s real objective with the Supreme Court: nominate someone who is a liberal vote 100% of the time and someone who will … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, People Dumber than Dolphins, racism, SCOTUS, White Punks on Dope | 7 Comments