Category Archives: Ayatollah Ted Cruz

Ayatollah Ted: Still A Dick

America’s Lab for Bad Policy, Texas’ Ted Cruz is a dick to the bitter end of his days: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) urged the Texas state bar to carefully consider the fitness of certain Stanford University law school graduates after … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Texas, America's Lab for Bad Policy | 10 Comments

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Ted?

What happened here? Party in the back for the Senate hearing, but photoshopped out for a book cover? https://t.co/n693JVXlKA pic.twitter.com/80bubiCNFd — Jim Swift (@JimSwiftDC) March 13, 2023 Unwoke? Go to sleep. (Also: a book in time for the 2024 Goat … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz | 7 Comments

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Ted?

Ooops. Likely 2024 Goat Rodeo contender Ayatollah Ted is saying the quiet part aloud again: Cruz: The rules of the Republican conference provide not that we will never raise the debt ceiling rather what the rules say is we will … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, snark | 8 Comments

Yesterday, In History

I’ve read that the litmus test for every Boomer is that they know exactly where they learned President Kennedy was assassinated. I would not have guessed Ayatollah Ted Cruz has an actual sense of humor: Only passed down through the … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz | 3 Comments

One Lump of Stupid or Two?

Who else thinks it’s hilarious that both Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham nod their heads in agreement when Herschel Walker says “this erection is about the people.” pic.twitter.com/UwAUcE0CWA — Jon Cooper (@joncoopertweets) November 23, 2022 I’ve never seen the Senatorette’s … Continue reading

Posted in 2022 Pie Fight, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Herschel Walker, Senatorette Lindsey Graham | 7 Comments

Saddle-Up Another Goat!

Happy Hour News Ayatollah Ted Cruz (R- Texas, America’s Lab for Bad Policy) say’s he’s running for re-election in 2024, but you know, might run in the 2024 Goat Rodeo, because we’ve been bad and must be punished: “I’m fighting … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, snark, Terrible Human Beings | 5 Comments

Trump to Announce Tomorrow

2024 Goat Rodeo Rupert Murdoch and Republican elites might have decided that Hair Füror is damaged goods, but the Red Hats are still strictly in Lord Damp Nut’s back pocket. “Trumpy Republican candidates failed at the ballot box in states … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Kristi Noem, Marco 'Big Gulp' Rubio, Nikki Haley, Ron ‘Meatball’ DeSantis, Tom Cotton | 6 Comments

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Someone threw a beer can at Ted Cruz during the Astros parade pic.twitter.com/uEtbRP5lvh — philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) November 7, 2022 I hope the Astros sign up whoever pitched the beer at Ayatollah Ted. Good arm,  great judgement. … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, sports | 11 Comments

2024 Goat Rodeo: Stealth Goats Emerge

As the old saying goes, every Senator looks into the bathroom mirror and sees a future president. We suspect many of the ghouls in this Tiger Beat article have no reflection: Tom Cotton likens it to a faraway target at … Continue reading

Posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Joni Ernst, Marco 'Big Gulp' Rubio, Senatorette Lindsey Graham, Stealth Goat, Tim Scott, Tom Cotton | 8 Comments

Who Needs Cancun: Texas Tourist Gets Warm NYC Greeting

How come none of you mugs told me that it was Ted Cruz Day: Ted Cruz getting a proper Yankee Stadium welcome tonight H/t @jessemangelo pic.twitter.com/scKm3jnTXF — Wu-Tang is for the Children (@WUTangKids) October 24, 2022 .@TedCruz got one fan … Continue reading

Posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, New York | 4 Comments