The 2024 Goat Rodeo!

Guys, Marianne Williamson —the K-Mart Gwyneth— is in the 2024 Goat Rodeo and boy-howdie, did Medill News get the scoop!

WASHINGTON — Marianne Williamson confirmed in an interview with Medill News Service on Thursday that she is running for president as a Democrat, becoming the first announced candidate for the party. The best-selling spiritual author and 2020 Democratic presidential candidate is holding an event in Washington on March 4 to officially launch her campaign.

When asked if she was running, Wiliamson said, “We’re on the phone, but if we were on FaceTime, you’d see me wink.”

“I wouldn’t be running for president if I didn’t believe I could contribute to harnessing the collective sensibility that I feel is our greatest hope at this time,” she added.

In 2020, Williamson ran a long-shot campaign with the slogan “join the evolution,” a play on “revolution,” having never served in elected office. She dropped out of the race in January before any primary, polling at less than 1 percent.

For those of you wondering, Medill? who the eff are they?, it is a wire service run by Northwestern University Medill School of Journalism (Go Wildcats!). So like AP but run by Tintin. Methinks the splashy announcement for next week got the appropriate leak it deserved.