Grifters Gotta Grift

“Out of my way, you fools! I’m late to do a heart transplant!”

This scans:

NEW YORK — One of Rep. George Santos’ first-known forays into politics was an attempt to raise $20,000 for a pro-Trump rally in 2019 in Buffalo, N.Y. that never happened.

The five-figure fundraising goal drew questions from members of the small New York state-based group United for Trump. Santos — who was the group’s president at the time — claimed he needed $750 to hire an accountant, $2,500 to keep a lawyer on retainer and thousands more for a keynote speaker.

“Lord Damp Nut has been an inspiration to me,” Milli Brazilli didn’t say (or DID HE?!) “I wouldn’t be the man I am today without his example,” Spurious George added, allegedly, “after I won Celebrity Apprentice five times.”