(Hat tip: Scissorhead Dennis Cole)
Montana, the land of big-sky and flat earth, is proposing to ban public schools from teaching of scientific theory in favor of scientific fact.
Several Montana middle- and high-school students said Monday that a lawmaker did not correctly interpret scientific theory and that his bill would ban common theories, like gravity, from being taught in schools – hampering their education and futures in STEM fields.
Yup, you read that right. Gravity would be struck. Someone had a bad weigh-in at Weight Watchers, methinks.
The bill from the Great Falls Republican seeks to create a new portion of law that states that all science education “may not include subject matter that is not scientific fact.” It would also have school boards review all science materials to be sure they only use “scientific fact” in a “strictly enforced and narrowly interpreted” fashion…
Lindsey Read, a senior at Capital High School in Helena, told the committee the measure would strip teachers of the ability to teach virtually any science. She said she and other students would not be able to learn about atomic theory, cell theory, the Big Bang Theory, or plate tectonics, among others, because they are simply theories.
If you click on the link and read the bill in all of its simple(ton) glory, you will see that it requires science to be observable and repeatable. Now, I’m not one to put words in their mouths (except when I am), but evolution is a theory, too, and I’d put my Quatloos on that’s what started this thing. Remember, Wingnuts always ask why there are still monkeys if we descended from them.
Mock Paper Scissors 
Because Republicans have to be some species, and shit flinging is normally done by monkeys.
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He’s got some ahhh…interesting legislature introduced this session…
https://leg.mt.gov/legislator-information/roster/individual/7624
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And Noah lived to be 400 years old. The bibble proves it. So, that can be taught along with the fact that you can’t get pregnant the first time, and a coffee enema cures cancer, appendicitis, and vapors.
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So without gravity, how are they going to hold down all that dental floss?
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And without being able to teach evolution, how are they going to explain the pygmy pony?
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Well, they don’t have to, since evolution is just a theory. Also, it’s not in the bible.
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Everybody knows that the roots of the bushes keep the floss attached to the ground. However, I’m not sure what keeps the pygmy pony from floating off into space.
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How can I be four days older than Frank Zappa and still be so ignorant about side effects of no-gravity, despite reading Science Fiction since I was nine?
Thanks for your expertise about the floss bushes, and my farmhands will have to work on their own without ponies to ride; but then if they’re flying, why would they need one?
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So then, did Billy and Ethyl make it all the way to Montana?
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Proving for the billionth time that the Fake Xtians do not understand the definition of the word ‘theory’.
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I have never figured out why creationists get so wrapped around the axle about a common ancestor with other primates. Fish and blue green algae bitches!
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Gravity will henceforth be known as “intelligent falling.”
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