President Handsome Joe Biden
(undated file photo)

The FBI has searched President Handsome Joe Biden’s Delaware beach house, and —SURPRISE!— found no hidden classified documents. The search was done with the cooperation of Biden’s attorneys but without alerting Handsome Joe hisself in advance so the sneaky bastid couldn’t hide them ahead of time.

The FBI conducted a search of the residence from 8:30 a.m. until noon on Wednesday in cooperation with Biden’s attorneys, Bob Bauer said in a statement.

“No documents with classified markings were found,” Bauer said. “Consistent with the process in Wilmington, the DOJ took for further review some materials and handwritten notes that appear to relate to his time as Vice President.”

The FBI is not admitting it, but they found a hidden stash of Corvette Magazines and lifetime supply of Ray Ban Aviators, so take that!

You can say what you will, but the fact that no stolen classified documents were found at the beach house suggests that the half-dozen documents found at Biden’s house is all that there is, and they were there because Biden’s team was sloppy packing up, rather than because he was intentionally stealing documents to probably sell to the Saudis, unlike Hair Füror. But we are only guessing.