I bet that thuggish goose put up the sign, too. You’ve been warned!
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Mock Paper Scissors 
Well, you haven’t lived a full life until you’ve been goosed by an angry goose. I’ve been there a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, and yeah the experience wasn’t what it was cracked up to be (in a manner of speaking)…
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Jimmy-T:
The lake at Oracle (which we called Loch Larry) every year had migrating geese who would stop over to have fledges.
Let me say that my expertise in NOT being goosed is directly attributable to P.G. Wodehouse’s Jeeves. If you’ve read the canon, you already know what I did. I will say no more.
Rgds,
TG
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I came across a tale with Jeeves operating without Bertie. It was a long time ago. It was even longer ago when I discovered Wodehouse. I was so naïve. I thought that Wodehouse had written a lot of books… then I worked my way through the library to the first Asimov section…
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Oh lordy that brings up a long-suppressed memory…I worked for a while at General Foods Research Center in Tarrytown NY.
It was right on the Hudson and had migratory AND resident populations of Canadian
terroristsgeese.Just getting into the building from the parking lot in the winter was an adventure of not killing yourself by stepping on a frozen goose turd on the pavement which would suddenly transform to a frictionless bearing transporting your leg out from under you and your ass to the frozen pavement tout suite.
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On my epic post-college cross country motorcycle trip we stayed with a friend-of-a-friend who had a Doberman and a goose.
The dobie was a big ol’ goof who would do more damage with his tail (he was un-docked of tail and ears) than his bite and the goose was the defender of the property, and would righteously mess you up.
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Years ago I was chased by a 45 lb blue-headed tom turkey. That was really frightening.
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Some people always have to know why. If you just tell them “don’t use this door” they have to go through it if only to prove that you can’t tell them what to do.
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Good on him. As long as he keeps nipping at the adversary, there’s no chance he’ll start caring what they think of him. That’s the poison — by Kiergegaard’s law:
A tame goose never becomes a wild goose but on the other hand a wild goose can certainly become a tame goose – therefore watch out!</i?
The more you care what Rs think about what you say, the more tame you are. And the closer you are to just being nothing more than foie gras to them.
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Once upon a time, I had the misfortune of hitting a golf shot near a water hazard, causing the head goose there to go fucking apocalyptic on my ass.
I have faced an inquisitive black bear, a surprisingly insistent reindeer, and a very large rattlesnake in the wild and they were all adorable compared to this monster.
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This reminds me of how my stepmom was deathly afraid of snakes all her life. She told us that, growing up on the farm, they’d run across a snake here or there and she’d get a goose and a pig to take care of it. One or the other and occasionally both were always successful in either repelling or otherwise discouraging the intruder. That told me what I needed to know about maintaining peace with geese.
Now I have some reading to do!
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