News That Will Drive You To Drink

Trumper tantrum

And now, from Merde-a-Lardo, a shriek only bats and certain dogs can hear (emphasis mine):

Donald Trump invited the media for a moment he called “media availability” at Mar-a-Lago ahead of the country club’s annual New Year’s Eve celebration. When the time came, however, Trump spoke for fewer than five minutes and not one of the cable news stations covered it, including allies like Newsmax and Fox.

I saw reports that Jar-Jar Vanka ghosted him, and unbelievably, Junior Mints and his emotional support cougar Kimberly Guilfoyle were no-shows. So it was just Fat Nixon and Twizzler and Mme. Twizzler. No report mentions Mel, Barron, or Tiff (“who?”).

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Baron vonBeavis)

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12 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Redhand says:

    The photo of Melania at the link looks like something out of a wax museum. Seriously.

    Liked by 2 people

    • MDavis says:

      Oh, my!
      Was it?
      Seriously.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Redhand says:

        Well, the photo caption reads “Donald and Melania Trump at Mar-a-Lago (Photo by Nicholas Kamm for AFP),” so they couldn’t have put a waxen image of her there and gotten away with it. But her photo image is decidedly creepy. The face looks frozen to me, and the hair looks like some kind of nylon wig. The semi-circular crown of hair at the top of her forehead appears sculped in place as if it were the brow of a medieval helmet, held in place by a full can of hairspray. Weird as hell.

        Lastly, while it creeps me out to comment on her bust, from all the photos I’ve seen of her, that doesn’t look real either. I know that as a younger model, she was well-endowed, but I don’t remember seeing anything this massive, as if she recently underwent major breast “enhancement” surgery. It just adds to the total artificiality of her appearance, like she’s a high-paid escort cosplaying a Stepford wife for the camera.

        Lest I come across as a catty sexist, I’ll comment briefly on his appearance. He looks like the rancid, overstuffed hog of a human being that he is, despite, for once, good tailoring. Cf. “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.” And, of course, the photographer captures him with that hideous cupid’s bow/anus-shaped mouth open so that we get to see those rat incisors too.

        What a pair!

        Liked by 2 people

      • MDavis says:

        Stepford wife is definitely the look. The hair loos more like something you’d see on a Lego (T) figurine, or a demonic combination of Ken and Barbie.
        All you had to say about tfg, for me, is he looks like himself.

        Like

      • purplehead says:

        That photo of “Mel” reminds of a painted-up Etruscan statue. Maybe they borrowed that from the Metropolitan Museum for the occasion, since the Real Mel was upstairs with Mat Gaetz. Or something.

        Liked by 1 person

      • MDavis says:

        You see it too.

        Like

  2. jaf48 says:

    I know that I’m being wishful, but could this be the whimper?

    Liked by 1 person

    • he doesn’t leave his bedroom except to eat ketchup steak and two scoops of vanilla ice cream, and can’t be bothered to whomp up one of those stupid rallies that was his bread and butter in previous years. I think he has lost the plot and lost his steam. All he does is repeat the asinine lies in ALL CAPS that are, by now, reflexive, and screech “UNSELECT COMMITTEE” in a childish falsetto. His mind is now tapioca.

      Like

  3. Melania’s dress looks barely above the MAGA candy wrapper dresses featured previously. She has dressed better, but yikes. Someone call in Meghan McCain’s hairdresser, and it would be an MST3K riff: “Fashion by Bargain Clown, Minneapolis.”

    Like

  4. Buttermilk Sky says:

    I understand it was Junior’s birthday and Daddy probably forgot as usual.

    Like

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