‘Who Mourns for Adonais?’ Revisited

According to the WaPo our tech billionaires are having a bad year:

Where there’s smoke, there’s Space Karen

Elon Musk lost $132 billion in net worth this year, a loss that exceeds the fortunes of each of the other wealthy men on this list.

Space Karen would like to talk to a manager. But who knew watching him set his fortune on fire would be so entertaining?

“I’ll be back”

Mark Zuckerberg’s net worth plunged nearly $81 billion this year. The Facebook founder slid from the sixth-richest person at the end of last year to No. 25, according to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index.

As we know, Faceberg bet the farm that people really wanted a dreary reboot of SecondLife (without legs, no less).

Blue Origin Jeff Bezos flies a dick into space

Jeff Bezos lost $84.1 billion this year as tech stocks tumbled from their stratospheric heights and Amazon shares plunged nearly 50 percent, marking one of its worst years ever on the market.

Must have been renting out Disneyland so he could ride Space Mountain… alone.

Sexxxy!

The entrepreneur, philanthropist and co-founder of Microsoft lost nearly $29 billion in 2022. Gates’s roughly 20 percent fall nearly matches the decline of the S&P 500 this year, meaning the billionaire’s losses have largely tracked with a broad barometer for the overall market and a gauge of the economy. In fact, he beat out the Nasdaq composite index.

I guess he’s saved some money without the expenses of Jeffrey Epstein on his balance sheet.

The former chief executive of Microsoft and owner of the Los Angeles Clippers lost more than $20 billion this year as the tech giant’s slide ate into his net worth.

Fester is as good in retirement as he was when actively chairing the Borg. Someday, his massive collection of Zunes are gonna be worth something.

Now before you start to Venmo these bums some lunch money, know this: They are still some of the richest people on the planet.

But the billionaires are far from destitute. Zuckerberg, for example, is still worth nearly $45 billion, or more than the GDP of Iceland. And several of the billionaires are actually worth more than they were in 2019, as the market’s accelerated growth during the early phase of the pandemic padded their portfolios before their wealth plunges this year.

The take-away from this story should NOT be that these guys are only human and make mistakes like the rest of us, and to try to make us see them in a sympathetic light.

No, the take-away is that billionaire can loose hundreds of billions of Ameros making stupid bets and still be the richest people on the eff’ing planet.

Every billionaire represents proof that our tax policies have failed.

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9 Responses to ‘Who Mourns for Adonais?’ Revisited

  1. Martin Pollard says:

    I’m finding it exceedingly difficult to muster up any sympathy for any of these fazillionaires, but I’m finding it especially heartwarming to see Phony Stark’s fortunes vanish due to his ineptitude and stupidity. He still has more wealth than I’d ever see in a thousand lifetimes, but watching him stack up his (on-paper) wealth and set it on fire (insert image of the Joker doing the same thing in “The Dark Knight”) is truly a sight to behold.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Stony Pillow says:

    Tesla has lost 2/3 of its market cap since Sept. 20th. I’ll bet BirdChan has lost at least that much. Some fool might buy it for $10 billion tomorrow. Doubt it.

    Elon isn’t just setting his fortune on fire. Everything he touches will be consumed in the furnace of his ego.

    So much for betting on the richest man in the world. Anyone who did – cry harder, or just jump, you morons.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. roket says:

    Meanwhile the race continues to see who will be the first Trillionaire.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. osirisopto says:

    Burn, baby! Burn!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s not just them…I made the mistake of looking at my retirement accounts the other day…oy vey!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. what Trump didnt have billions to lose?

    Liked by 1 person

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