H/T Scissorhead Fran
The elf on the shelf is REALLY GLAD TO SEE YOU!
The MPS merry month of MAYHEM and heartwarming holidays of HORROR are rapidly coming to a climax! Oh, wait.
Anyway, our quest for tacky, tasteless, terrible holiday decorations, sweaters, cards, and elves continues! Send your worst (and by that I mean your best) to tengrain AT mockpaperscissors DOT com. Last one in is a snitch in a ditch!
Mock Paper Scissors 
You do realize, Tengrain, that you can’t unsee that, right?
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You gotta wonder about the peppermint flavoring… like does it burn or itch?
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You’re supposed to put it in the box…
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I thought of that song, I just thought this elf is well-endowed or the box is backward. 🤷♀️
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt0spqQtMKg (Can’t unhear this, either. 😇)
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Does Boing Boing know about this?
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Joke I saw. This is not in the competition.
My sex life is like a Masserati.
I don’t have a Masserati.
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Where’s the obscene content here? When I saw the figure, I immediately saw the head and thought, “You wanna buy a duck?” [Humor from before my time.]
Of course, this laughable fixation is as old as mankind: An 11,000-year-old carving of a man holding his penis while surrounded by leopards is the earliest known depiction of a narrative ‘scene.’
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Redhand,
Did this narrative have a happy ending?
Rgds,
TG
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My guess is “no.” 😉
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