Flop Sweat

Whether we like it or not, the 2024 Goat Rodeo has begun because 2X-Impeached LOSER ex-prznint Stupid announced his candidacy and this weekend there was some sort of 4-H competition the Republican Jewish Coalition in Las Vegas Nevada for potential candidates to present their case to donors. I’ve read that in addition to Fat Nixon, there were close to a dozen hawgs shaking their jowls and giving come hither glances over their rib roasts.

The 4-H judges, er, money people met with the following, and it is only a partial list:

• Hair Füror
• Ron DeSanctimonious
• Ayatollah Ted Cruz
• Xristian Nationalist Mike Pompeo
• Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan
• Nikki Haley
• Ambulatory Termite Buffet Mike Pence
• Governorzilla Chris Christi
• New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu

Can Hair Füror pull off a 2016-style upset again?

Absolutely.

The biggest difference between the primaries of Team Coup and Democrats is that Team Coup’s primaries are Winner Takes All. Hair Füror has a basement/ceiling of about 40% of the Republican voters, and the other 60% would be split up amongst the canned hams. So while 40% does not a winner make, neither does a dozen people each getting some smaller percentage, and that includes Ron DeSanctimonious.

In other words, the more choices the Republicans have, the more likely it will be  Vulgarmort and the 4th Reich winning the nomination.

One does not enter the Goat Rodeo unless one has a gigantic, narcissistic ego. All of these would-be fascist dictators look in the mirror while shaving and see a future president (maybe not Nikki Haley?). None of them will say, “for the good of the country or our fascist party, I will drop out of the race so that we can stop the mango-hued shitgibbon from getting the nomination.”

They might be stupid but they are not dumb. They know this, but they want someone else to drop out. Of course, the other possibility is that the money people know this too and might decide to only support one or two of these prize-winning pigs. Did I mention that the money people have big egos too, and would love to own a president?

This is Hair Füror’s nomination to lose, but the more people in the primary, the more likely he wins it.