Area Mafia Boss Makes Offer Everyone Refused

Not playing with a full deck

Rolling Stone tells us that Hair Füror made a series of threatening, er, perfect phone calls demanding that they endorse him before he announced he’s running in the 2024 Goat Rodeo, or they would regret it:

DONALD TRUMP HAD a message for Republicans about his 2024 presidential announcement: Endorse me now, or pay later.

In the days running up to the election, Trump made a series of phone calls to GOP lawmakers and other elected officials, demanding that they endorse him before he announced he’s running — or at least right after, according to two sources with knowledge of the conversations. The president said he was tracking who endorsed him early, adding that “those who waited too long” were “not gonna like” what happens when he wins. (Trump, who lost the 2020 election, has long operated the assumption that he’ll win back the White House.) Trump also said he was keeping tabs on who jumped ship for Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis or other potential 2024 primary challengers, the sources say.

It didn’t go over as intended.

But Trump’s efforts to extort Republicans into supporting his third presidential campaign are not going well. He’s secured endorsements from diehard loyalists, but the party’s heavy hitters — even some who have previously been quick to stand behind him — have been hesitant to hop on board. When Trump announced his candidacy from Mar-a-Lago on Tuesday, Madison Cawthorn, the scandal-ridden outgoing representative from North Carolina, was the only member of Congress who bothered to attend.

I guess America’s second-favorite roller-Nazi (Hi, Gov. Abbott!)  didn’t have much on his calendar, and you know, a coupon for the buffet must be quite an incentive to the unemployable.

And while Trump was shopping for endorsements, he was dealing with defections: Two of his major donors announced Wednesday they would no longer be backing him. Trump’s former U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, also appears to have cut bait, leveling a barely-veiled dig at the former president on Wednesday, tweeting that “we need more seriousness, less noise, and leaders who are looking forward, not staring in the rearview mirror claiming victimhood.”

So what is he threatening to do to these apostates?

And so Trump’s “endorse-me-or-else” threats may not be landing with the same force. He’s been making them for years, repeatedly teasing that if he didn’t get his way, he would try to burn it all down on the way out the door. In recent weeks, the former president has attempted to gather salacious dirt and opposition research from several confidants, just so he can find novel ways to mess with fellow Republicans Glenn Youngkin, Virginia’s governor, and DeSantis, two potential 2024 rivals. Just before the 2022 midterm elections last week, Trump even publicly threatened to air some of that alleged dirty laundry, telling reporters he could “tell you things about [Ron] that won’t be very flattering.”

Less you think that pouty Pol POTUS is shouting into the void, he has gotten some endorsements:

However, the bulk of Trump’s most enthusiastic 2024 support is coming from the sycophants who have made careers playing to the former president’s cult following. Cawthorn declared following the announcement that he will “follow [Trump] until the day I die. This man has bled for us, fought for us. I want a president who people are terrified of, who’s gonna push people out of the way.” Election denier and pillow mogul Mike Lindell, online personalities Diamond and Silk, conservative comedian Terrence K. Williams, and actor Jon Voight all pledged their continued support to the president, as well.

It’s a fun article, highly recommended.

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6 Responses to Area Mafia Boss Makes Offer Everyone Refused

  1. HarpoSnarx says:

    Danger Yam! She huffs. She puffs. She stomps. She yells. They scramble. They scatter.
    They hide. They run from Danger Yam! Time to fill her gullet with meatballs and cocktail weenies. Danger Yam!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. w3ski4me says:

    I love it when they go ahead and print out his pitiful list of supporters. Then they go and leave out a classy guy like Kid Rock, wouldn’t you know it? He’s got to hang on to every supporter now, no matter how deep in the cesspool they come from.

    Liked by 1 person

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