Gents, She’s Back On The Market

Madge
(Undated File Photo)

America’s Sweatheart, Madge, is being dumped by her husband of 27 years. No reason was given, but according to TMZ

It’s not clear that Madge has set up her Tinder profile yet, but in addition to shooting at Democrats from helicopters, her hobbies include stalking Parkland High School shooting survivors, leaving weird and threatening letters at Nancy Pelosi’s office,  and misinterpreting exhibits at the Holocaust Museum.

Which makes her plea for the FAKE NEWS!!1! to respect their privacy at this time particularly rich:

“Marriage is a wonderful thing and I’m a firm believer in it. Our society is formed by a husband and wife creating a family to nurture and protect. Together, Perry and I formed our family and raised three great kids. He gave me the best job title you can ever earn: Mom. I’ll always be grateful for how great of a dad he is to our children. This is a private and personal matter and I ask that the media respect our privacy at this time.”

Sure Madge. We will respect your privacy just like you have respected David Hogg’s privacy following his survival from a mass shooting.

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9 Responses to Gents, She’s Back On The Market

  1. Stony Pillow says:

    The Honorable Representative from Georgia ‘s hobbies also allegedly include serial adultery.

    Like

  2. Steve-O says:

    Since she’s back on the market, does that mean dating her also means dating her CrossFit instructor and Tantric Sex Guru?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. skinnydennis says:

    Headline:
    LOCAL MAN AWAKENS FROM SELF-INDUCED COMA

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Buttermilk Sky says:

    She also enjoys filing articles of impeachment and kicking anti-gun activists.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. osirisopto says:

    MTG gets divorced and there’s a surge of registrations on asexualality.org

    Like

  6. R White says:

    Among the male CrossFit members, she’s like the community bicycle since she gets passed around so much for a ‘ride’ or two.

    Like

  7. glitterbug says:

    Get your shots now, dudes!

    Like

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