Big Loser Loses Again

From Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) afternoon email thingie:

TRUMP-RUSSIA LATEST — A federal judge tossed out Trump’s lawsuit against HILLARY CLINTON, JAMES COMEY and others over the Russia investigation in a ruling that blasted the former president’s legal approach, per the AP. U.S. District Judge DONALD MIDDLEBROOKS wrote that Trump’s lawsuit had “glaring structural deficiencies” and amounted to “a two-hundred-page political manifesto outlining his grievances against those that have opposed him, and this Court is not the appropriate forum.”

The WaPo goes deeper, and frankly, it is too deliciously snarky to try to summarize, so we’ll just give the setup and the link:

Trump presented his Russia hoax theory to a court. It went poorly.

One of the hallmarks of Donald Trump’s tenure in American politics has been the extent to which he remained cocooned in his own world.

As president, that was often literal: He moved from the White House to his properties to tightly controlled events and to boisterous political rallies, rarely coming across critics or skeptics. It was also true of his presence in the public conversation. He had his Twitter universe and his Fox News conversations and he was content. Outsiders would peek in and report on what he was doing and saying and how it was received, but with a Star-Trek like result: There was no observable impact on the universe being watched.

It was a rhetorical terrarium, self-contained and self-sufficient. An ecosystem where nonsense thrived and spread, where conspiracy theories competed Darwinistically for dominance. So his vague dismissals of the Russia investigation as a hoax in early 2017 had, by 2021, become complicated organisms, vines stretching and intertwining throughout the pro-Trump media universe.

And then, earlier this year, a change. Trump proudly removed his Russia theory from its home and presented it to the court, like a kid digging up a dandelion he’d been watching in his yard and offering it as a horticulture contender at the state fair. The verdict, offered in a filing on Thursday, was probably not what Trump would have hoped.

Suffice it to say, he did not earn a blue ribbon.

OK, I cannot resist, here’s some highlights:

  • “Plaintiff’s theory of this case, set forth over 527 paragraphs in the first 118 pages of the Amended Complaint, is difficult to summarize in a concise and cohesive manner,” Middlebrooks wrote as he began picking Trump’s allegations apart. “It was certainly not presented that way.”
  • “Plaintiff cannot state a RICO claim without two predicate acts,” he writes at one point, for example, “and, after two attempts, he has failed to plausibly allege even one.”
  • “Perplexingly, Plaintiff appears to argue that the Defendants obstructed investigation Crossfire Hurricane by contributing to the initiation of Crossfire Hurricane,” he writes. “That Defendants could have obstructed a proceeding by initiating it defies logic.”

It sounds like it was one of Lord Damp Nut’s free-verse campaign poems.

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9 Responses to Big Loser Loses Again

  1. Could there be cracks in the dome of the Truman Trump Show appearing at last?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Also, where DOES he keep finding lawyers ready and willing to torch their law licenses by filing arrant nonsense in the courts?

    Liked by 3 people

  3. w3ski4me says:

    What can anyone expect from him? His unlearned genius stands out in every crowd. He is the master of all words and stuffs. Plus he is bored now and has lots of time to help his lawyers write their briefs and stuff. Why not Eff up an important legal document? He is the Cheetolini after all. He can do it all, and do it better than anyone else.
    So glad to see it’s working out so well for him.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. ACK, as usual, the joke eludes me until after I click on ‘Post Comment’

    The judge could have simply written “The Plaintiff mistakes this court for a Festivus Pole; it is not the proper venue for ‘The Airing of the Grievances'”

    Liked by 5 people

  5. laura says:

    Nelson Muntz HaHa gif would be a
    appropriate response.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. artahzen says:

    I read the whole decision and recommend it as a good read. The judge explains everything so there is no question of how he felt about the case. His snark is nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. roket says:

    MAGA Stupid Lawyers don’t know they’re stupid until they go mainstream and prove it for all the world to see.

    Liked by 2 people

Comments are closed.