Guys, did you know that Floriduh and NY (and Oklahoma) had primaries yesterday? We warned you!
- Charlie Crist won the primary against Nikki Fried, so Floriduh Dems think maybe a third try for Crist is better than a first try to Fried to take Ron DeSantis to the hoop.
- Val Demmings won her primary in a 84% landslide, and will now go up against Li’l Marco Rubio, officially. Clearly the Democrats are united for her which they will need to be to march Rubio into the sea.
- So what happened to Deming’s old seat, you ask? Charismatic Afro-Cuban Yute of Today Maxwell Alejandro Frost (D) won his primary in FL-10. If Frost wins in the general —and he should— he’ll be the first member of Gen- Z to be elected to Congress.
- Matt Gaetz won his nomination, and we wonder how big a demographic the creepy leaches are in Floriduh.
- Looney Lara Loomer will NOT be the Republican in the general election, having lost to establishment dude Daniel Webster, and you’d never guess it! Can you believe that she isn’t conceding and is accusing, you know, dark forces and whatnot of stealing… a GOP primary.
New York, New York (a helluva mess)
- As we all know, DCCC chairman Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney set off the whole musical chairs in NY when he jumped to NY-17. He dispatched progressive challenger Alessandra Biaggi, 66.7% to 33.3%, and for those of you who like to bash the DCCC (and you should!), have at it. This self-serving mook will be re-elected easily for years to come and will likely become a person in Congressional leadership.
- Septuagenarian incumbent Rep. Jerry Nadler walloped septuagenarian incumbent Rep. Carolyn Maloney, 55.4% to 24.4%. A musical chairs loss of an incumbent for Sean Patrick.
- Another musical chairs loss of an incumbent for Sean Patrick: gay/block incumbent Rep. Mondaire Jones lost to straight white Levi Strauss Heir and Trump impeachment prosecutor Daniel Goldman.
- And in Team Evil news NY-23: Republican establishment candidate Nick Langworthy edged out Nazi (ALLEGED) Carl Paladino 52.1% to 47.9%.
- A bunch Republicans won whatevs and will be elected in November.