Election Day Tuesday!

H/T Scissorhead Jimmy-T

Hey guys, did you know that it is a big primary Election Day tomorrow? Fact Check: TRUE!

  • The Terrible Sand Kingdom of Arizonastan – Up for a vote is Hair Füror. Er, his ability to endorse that is. For gubnor, it is Trump-endorse Kari Lake vs Pence-endorsed Karrin Taylor Robson, so you can see the dynamics here. Lake —a Fox News host— is running on The Big Lie. There are other candidates, but these are the two to watch. There are five (5!) Republicans vying to lose to Democrat Mark Kelly in the Senate race, one of whom is Trump-endorsed Blake Masters (a Nazi who got Peter Thiel’s endorsement and money behind him). So this primary is all about Trump.
  • (What’s the Matter With) Kansas – the real election to watch is an amendment to the state constitution that would take-away their constitution’s right to an abortion. Sure, there are a lot of candidates running for governor, but here’s my wild prediction: whoever the Republican nominee is will win the general!
  • DeVoslandia, er, Michigan – For governor, it is Trump-endorsed candidate Tudor Dixon (R-DeVos) vs Never-Trumper Kevin Rinke. Whoever wins will go up against incumbent Democrat Gov. Gretchen Whitmer.
  • Satan’s Hollow, er, Missouri – This is the race that has Mitch McConnell weeping into his mug of virgin blood: wife and child beating sex fiend, noted blackmailing dungeon master, and disgraced former governor Eric Greitens vs. two other unmemorable people. Ten (10!) Democrats are running for the nomination, I’ve read that it really is a race between Marine Corps veteran Lucas Kunce, and beer heiress Trudy Busch Valentine.
  • Hey-Ho Ohio – All are state house races, I’m not sure if there are any initiatives of interest.
  • Warshington – It’s another referendum on Trump. WA is a top-two state, so it will be Sen. Patty Murray versus someone else (the most likely is Republican Tiffany Smiley). Rep. Jaime Herrera Beutler (R-WA 03 which is R+4 district), who voted to impeach Trump the second time is up against a metric ton of challengers, but Joe Kent is the Trump-endorsed challenger, so this is likely to be a Republican v. Republican in the general.

Betting windows are open for wagers, have your quatloos ready!

This entry was posted in 2022 Pie Fight. Bookmark the permalink.