Report: Hawley Faster Than The Cowardly Lion!

Proud Boy Lite Sen. Josh Hawley (GQP-MO)


James Dator writing at SBNation became intrigued with Sen. Hawley ass-hauling when he watched the hearings the other day and has written a piece on it:

Josh Hawley ran 7.2 in the 40 at the January 6 combine

Weird things happen when you’ve covered sports for a long time. It frames your life differently, your world view, and sometimes it even means seeing a man running in a suit and wondering “could he run the 40 faster than Rich Eisen?”

I know that’s a very specific example, and for good reason. On Thursday night during the primetime broadcast of the January 6 commission, video of Missouri senator Josh Hawley running through the capitol building to avoid the insurrectionists he saluted shortly before. As a result Hawley became a meme. I’m not here to make jokes. I’ll leave that up to Twitter. I’m here for science.

It is and is not snark, and it shows to us beyond a reasonable doubt that sportswriters are a different breed of cat. I laughed AND I was impressed with his forensics and dogged tenacity to find out Hawlin’ Ass Hawley’s ground-speed record of cowardly hypocrisy.



This entry was posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Crazeee States, Missouri, Proud Boi-Lite Sen. Josh Hawley, sports, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The Stupid Coup. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Report: Hawley Faster Than The Cowardly Lion!

  1. Jimmy T says:

    I hear the Dems in the gret state of misery are going to hold a 5k crosscountry race to honor him…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oneofthebobs says:

    Hawleying ass.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. *FelineMama* says:

    Ya gotta give it to Haw-lin Ass, he didn’t drop ONE piece of paper. He held on to them VWERY tightly. Priorities doncha know !!!!!!!!!


  4. MDavis says:

    I haven’t watched Rich Eisen for a couple of years.
    Memories. Besides Eisen running in his suit, Combine participants used to deal with Deion Sanders running with them, backwards, talking the entire forty yards.


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