News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News

Sen. Josh Hawley official portrait?
(H/T Scissorhead D-Cap)

Guys, when the hometown paper vivisects* you

Josh Hawley is a laughingstock.

During Thursday night’s televised hearings of the House committee investigating the Jan. 6, 2021, coup attempt at the U.S. Capitol, Rep. Elaine Luria showed video of Missouri’s junior senator that will surely follow him the rest of his life.

In the clip, Hawley sprints across a hallway as he and his fellow senators are evacuated after insurrectionists had breached the Capitol building. When it played on the screen, the audience in the room with the committee erupted in laughter.

Of course, Twitter immediately dogpiled. Hawley’s name was the No. 1 trending topic in politics that evening as users shared the hashtag #HawlinAss along with GIFs of a galloping Forrest Gump.

“From now on, if political reporters ask Josh Hawley if he’s planning to run, he’s going to have to ask them to clarify,” quipped one.

And it does on for much, much longer. Please read the whole thing, it’s worth it.

And then, Hawley spoke at Charlie Kirk’s incel convention, Turning Point USA and former Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill enthusiastically trolled him:

Seattle’s own Dan Savage:

Savage made a good point.

Back to the editorial:

But funny as the visual of the self-proclaimed manly senator’s immediate retreat was, there’s absolutely nothing amusing about Jan. 6, 2021. A bipartisan Senate report concluded seven people died as a result of the attack. Two more Metropolitan Police officers took their own lives shortly after. About 150 members of law enforcement were injured, and it’s impossible to know how many others caught up in the horrific event will carry scars for life, of body and mind.

…And that’s the reason watching Hawley racing away from the Capitol invaders struck so many people as blackly hilarious. Saluting the Trump posse was politically expeditious for him before the siege began. Yet once he realized his own safety was in real danger from the angry revolutionists swarming the building, he hotfooted it away from “his” people to the protection of the security forces charged with protecting him. Where’s that fist in the air now?

Now that’s the kind of editorial that ends careers, and I hope it ends Hawley’s. All hair and no heroism is not a good look.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Jimmy-T)

*There is a lot of disagreement about whether or not Hawley actually lives in Missouri; the address he uses belongs to his sister.

This entry was posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Proud Boi-Lite Sen. Josh Hawley, The Coup Klux Klan (Republicans), The Stupid Coup. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Richard Portman says:

    Maybe we should just take him to the veterinarian. He is a good dog, but he can’t be trusted.
    I don’t know about you all, but i used to live with dogs. The real garbage eating, sneaky tailwagging theiving dogs . I couldn’t do it, but that is one dog i would not keep.


  2. roket says:

    One thing is for sure. Fleeing the mob will be the only time he will ever be bipartisan.

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.