Guys, we forgot all about the elections last night! Oops!
NY: Andy Giuliani, son of Landscaping and Dildo impresario Rudy, will NOT be facing off against NY Gov. Kathy Hochul. That fate will fall to Lee Zeldin, who is likely to lose.
IL: It will be Gov. J.B. Pritzker (D) against Hair Füror’s hand-selected lunatic Darren Bailey. This is also who good-guy billionaire Pritzker wanted and spent $millions of Ameros supporting. An expensive rat-eff’ing, but a successful one.
CO: The stop the steal lady who tried to steal the voting machines data/source code Tina Peters was stopped from becoming the Secretary of State. However, ammosexual Bo-Bo Boebert won her primary, so mixed results.
All the sitting Senators won their respective primaries: Michael Bennet (D-CO), Tammy Duckworth (D-IL), Mike Lee (R-UT), and Jim Lankford (R-OK). Prediction: the Utah election will be the one to watch as Mike Lee will be running against Libertarian/independent Evan McMullin. All the others are a status quo elections.
Some representatives in the House will be going home, however:
- Rep. Marie Newman (D IL) was defeated by Rep. Sean Casten in IL-06.
- Rep. Rodney Davis (R IL) was defeated by White Christian Nationalist Rep. Mary Miller (R-IL)
- Ethics-challenged Steven Palazzo (R-MS) was defeated by a former cop, Mike Ezell.
Anyway, that concludes the 2022 Pie Fight for June, there is only one primary in July (Maryland). So take a breather and stock up on popcorn for August when the Terrible Sand Kingdom of Arizonastan, Tennessee, Connecticut, Minnesota (and a Special Election In Minnesota’s 1st Congressional District), Vermont, Wisconsin, Hawaii, Alaska and Wyoming all hold their primaries.