You guys, Rudy Giuliani is lucky to be alive! He was at a Staten Island store (which neither sells landscaping nor dildos, go figure) when he was viciously assaulted as we will see in the shocking video below:
As you can imagine, a spitball sailed across the internet:
Or maybe two spitballs:
Possibly three spitballs:
Rudy demanded that the employee, Daniel Gill, should be fired from his job and prosecuted. And so he was arrested, and his lawyers released the following statement which certainly sounds coherent (anything would sound coherent following Rudy’s account of what happened):
“The charges facing Daniel Gill, who has no previous contact with the criminal legal system, are inconsistent with existing law. Our client merely patted Mr. Giuliani, who sustained nothing remotely resembling physical injuries, without malice to simply get his attention, as the video footage clearly showed. Mr. Gill was then followed and threatened by one of Mr. Giuliani’s associates who allegedly poked Mr. Gill in the chest and told him that he was going to be ‘locked up.’ He was then needlessly held by the NYPD in custody for over 24 hours. Given Mr. Giuliani’s obsession with seeing his name in the press and his demonstrated propensity to distort the truth, we are happy to correct the record on exactly what occurred over the weekend on Staten Island.”
Anyway, Mr. Gill is a local hero. We salute our brother in antifa.