Today is another primary Election Day, the states holding them are Georgia, Alabama and Arkansas; there is also a runoff in Texas, America’s Lab for Bad Policy. Let’s jump in!
Prediction: Georgia Pokes A Mango-Hued Shitgibbon
This is probably going to be the most fun one to watch, as Hair Füror is likely to lose two out of three endorsements:
- Prediction: Kemp will win over Perdue, no run-off needed. The only question is whether Kemp will lap Perdue
- Prediction: Raffensperger will win more votes than his challengers, but probably will face a run-off. The Trump-endorsed candidate is Jodi Hice, he’s likely a distant second.
- Herschel Walker is going to win. Prediction: this will be the one that Trump crows about while ignoring the embarrassing loses above.
- There’s been no recent polling for Rep. 3-Names race that I can find, but as she has a newly formulated district that now include some black majority counties just outside of Atlanta, it’s not a slam-dunk win. Prediction: Madge will not win out-right and this will go into a run-off. She will be nuts no matter what happens.
- Mo Brooks famously was Hair Füror’s candidate… until he wasn’t. Oddly, the moment that Hair Füror renounced the hapless Brooks, his poll numbers have risen. Obviously this is an embarrassment for Trump. Polls have frontrunner Katie Britt (the preferred successor of retiring Sen. Richard Shelby) around 30%, Brooks around 28%, and Michael Durant around 23%. So, this is headed to a runoff between Britt and Brooks. Prediction: Trump will try to claim that it was he himself who got Mo into being a contender.
- All the other races are pretty much interchangeable white dudes. Prediction: White Dude wins.
- Prediction: The Possum Princess herself, Elmira Gantry Huckabee Sanders will win her
primary,er, general, praise Jeebus, and if she doesn’t she will lie about it. There’s no drama here.
- Senator John Boozman is up for re-election and he’s being challenged from the right by a former Patriots football star (another football player?!) Jake Bequette. They both are running as being the bigger nut job. Prediction: Boozman will clear 50% and avoid a run-off.
- AG race pits 7-years under federal indictment and incumbent Ken Paxton —the author and promoter of bounty hunting pregnant wimmins— against ¡JEB’s! little squirt, George Pee Bush. As this is Texas where they think the Bushes are squishes and would rather have a con, Prediction: Paxton in a landslide.
- The Democratic runoff in TX-28 between Rep. Henry Cuellar and Jessica Cisneros is really the only thing here to watch. They were pitted against each other in 202o and he barely won, so this is a rematch. BUT somethings have changed! Here’s some of the dynamics:
- Cuellar is an incumbent; Cisneros is an outsider
- Cuellar is a centrist; Cisneros is a progressive
- Cuellar is a dude; Cisneros is a dudette
- Cuellar is anti-Roe; Cisneros is pro-Roe
- Cuellar is a crook, maybe? (his house was raided by the FBI a few months back), Cisneros is (as far as we know) not a crook
Prediction: Cuellar. “It’s Texas, Jake.”
UPDATE 1: You gotta moisten his beak if you want his endorsement — Trump’s picks in Tuesday’s GOP primaries spent over $400,000 at Mar-a-Lago