One Lump of Stupid or Two, Ayatollah Ted?

Remember that time Ted Cruz recited Green Eggs and Ham to the country?

Sen. Ted Cruz, once famous for reading Green Eggs and Ham to the nation and who notoriously liked some mommie porn on Twitter, is now warning us that Mickey wants to raw dog Pluto:

We do not have confirmation that Cruz realizes that Pluto is a dog or that both of them are, uh, drawings, but whatevs! It’s a Culture War, and that’s  ol’ Teddy’s priority. One might even say he’s grooming & sexualizing the news that Disney is opposed to Floriduh Governor Ron DeSantis Don’t Say Gay law.

Now of course no one —except a filthy perv like Ayatolla Ted— thinks hot mouse-on-dog action is gonna be on Disney, but as an avowed 2024 Goat Rodeo contender, Ted loves to throw red meat to the base.

This entry was posted in 2024 Goat Rodeo, Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Don’t Say Gay, Homophobia. Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to One Lump of Stupid or Two, Ayatollah Ted?

  1. It reminds me of when Dan Quayle thought Murphy Brown was real…

    Liked by 3 people

    • roket says:


      Liked by 1 person

    • Mike B. says:

      And if Quayle had bothered to watch the episode, they would have known that Murphy’s choice was to have the baby and raise it alone or to have an abortion. And he was criticizing her for choosing the former. And I don’t think they ever criticized Seinfeld, in one episode of which Jerry and Kramer joked about whether each had ever gotten a woman pregnant. But Murphy was a liberal and Seinfeld wasn’t (they even had Rudy Guiliani on one episode).

      Liked by 1 person

  2. R White says:

    Raphael may not fellate another male in order to save the health of many, but he has no problem fellating his fellow morally bankrupt republican senators daily within the cloakroom of the antiquated senate…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. osirisopto says:

    I’m not really sure how they went from equals rights to transphobia to teaching kindergarteners about sex to gay anime porn.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. roket says:

    If qpubiican projection were rated we are clearly approaching the X mark.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. MDavis says:

    It’s not red meat, it’s just drawn that way.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Jimmy T says:

    May the big mouse win…

    Liked by 1 person

  7. w3ski4me says:

    “Red Meat” from Ted is really just pink slime. You remember, the ground-up, slimy, waste product they put back into cheap burgers.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sen. Ted Cruz, once famous for reading Green Eggs and Ham to the nation

    That sentence must ALWAYS be followed with “…and missing the point entirely in a book geared to pre-school age children.”

    He’s just so…oblivious…sometimes.

    Liked by 2 people

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