All that glitters…
It is a well-known fact that Twizzler is not the sharpest pencil in the box, that his place setting is missing a fork, that his cheese never made it to the cracker (add your own euphemism here)… so it behooves us to give him a helping hand:
For 1/17 of 3/10 of a point for your spring break, name that cider!
Imma go with, “Trump Cannot Not Tell A Lie Cider” or perhaps, “Person. Woman. Man Camera. Cider.”
In the comments, #2 pencils only.
Mock Paper Scissors 
Hard Cider Gonna Come Again
Cidey-Sense
What Cider You On?
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Appleplexy
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Make Apple Cider Again (ingredients: carbonated water, some alcohol and a bit of artificial apple flavor. Made in China)
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I assume the story goes something like this: Power went out on a warehouse full of discount store apple juice. Lacking refrigeration for a few months before being discovered the stuff has moldered and mothered. The owner wants to get rid of it and is willing to let it go for a nickel on the dollar. Trump incorporated will relabel it in his restaurants as “artisanally produced cider” . Pour it through an old sock into a high-end bit of crystal to filter out the worse of the floaters and mung and present it on a silver platter and idiots will comment on the ‘subtle earthy notes and mellow mustiness’.
Names: “golden shower” is better that anything I can come up with.
Perhaps “High Culture”
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OK, I vote for this one.
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I’m thinking that “Drops Away” is the perfect name. After all with the roaring success of Trump Airlines, Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump University, and other numerous yet misbegotten attempts to fleece the rubes, “Drops Away” makes perfect sense…
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No Good Cider
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“No Good Cider Goes Unpunished”, which sadly, appears to be the case…
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I’ve always been a fan of “not the sharpest knife on the chandelier”.
Another vote for Golden Shower Cider
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Cider House Rules because they never have an original thought.
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Little Apple
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Fizzle Cider
Sad Sider
Gold Plated Cider
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Sui Cider
Stormy Daniels In Cider
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I’m just going to suggest the ad campaign for it, which would be “Helps you to wash down the Ivermectin”
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Both Cider Good People
In Cider Trading
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I figure this won’t be an A list cider , so I’m gonna borrow from the previous Repug administration an go with ‘D Cider’n Thief.
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Who’s Cider You On
Ingredients: Mostly apples and a couple impeaches
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The Devil In Cider
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Takes-advantage-of-Both-Ciders?
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Trumpy Scrumpy
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrumpy
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Crapple from the Apple (apologies to Charlie Parker)
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Rotten Apples’ Special Cider
I can’t believe it’s cider Cider
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Sue You Cider
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It’s raining.
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“Golden Shower” wins the day.
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Bankrupt Cider?
Treason Cider?
Sedition Cider?
Ate up with the dumbass?
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Okay, Pee Hooker.
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Kinda related; a fitting TFG cocktail recipe – Double Peach Mint, consists of 2 shots peach schnapps and a splash of creme de menthe, aka Brain Damage, Zombie Brain.
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Cider, Hard , like the third grade!
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I guess “Desperately Seeking Daddy’s Approval Cider” is too direct, and hard to fit on a bumper sticker.
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“Be Cider? I don’t even know ‘er!”
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