A couch in Trenton is missing its upholstery

This is from the Washington Free Bacon, er, Beacon so if your Spidy senses are tingling, that’s OK:

Virginia “Ginni” Thomas wants to clear up a few things about January 6.

Oh?

She did not help organize the White House rally that preceded the riot at the Capitol. She did attend the rally, but got cold and left early. And most importantly, in her view, her involvement with the event has no bearing on the work of her husband, Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas.

Her involvement with the event that she did not organize? Got it.

I am the Tsar of all the Russias:

Thomas told the Free Beacon that she was in the crowd at the Ellipse rally for a short time the morning of Jan. 6, but returned home before Trump took the stage at noon. Her presence at the Ellipse during the morning was the extent of her activity, she said.

The check is in the mail:

“I was disappointed and frustrated that there was violence that happened following a peaceful gathering of Trump supporters on the Ellipse on Jan. 6,” Thomas told the Free Beacon.

I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today:

“Like so many married couples, we share many of the same ideals, principles, and aspirations for America,” Thomas told the Washington Free Beacon. “But we have our own separate careers, and our own ideas and opinions too.

I did not have sex with that woman:

“Clarence doesn’t discuss his work with me, and I don’t involve him in my work.”

Man, Pinocchio’s nose would be a redwood tree. This whole interview is bonkers.