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Electoral Vote
What would Jesus drive?
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A Prius?
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Truly great picture. Thank you.
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The question needs to be asked, If !OH MY GOD! is the correct response…
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No parking in the rear.
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Warning, very off-color legal war story. NSFW!!
In the late 1970s when I was a newly minted lawyer my first employment was with a law firm in Philadelphia, which specialized in insurance defense. This meant that I worked for a time with a senior partner on a lot of products liability defense cases.
Products could have three kinds of defects. Design defects. Manufacturing defects. And “failure to warn” defects.
I had all had about enough of this after three years and was on the way out to join a defense contractor corporation as in-house counsel in northern New Jersey. I stopped by the office of the partner I worked with on products liability cases – I did other work when I was there – to say goodbye.
When I walked into his office I was surprised to see a rather large dildo on top of a filing cabinet. You couldn’t miss it. He noted my surprise and said, “I suppose you’re wondering why that’s there.” Naturally, I said yes. He answered, “it’s a defective product. The firm has been hired to defend the manufacturer from a lawsuit brought by a lesbian.”
He continued, “Would you like to know what the defect is?” Before I could really answer he said, “It’s a failure to warn case. Would you like to know what the failure to warn was?”
I said yes because at this point my curiosity was peaked. He responded, “the complaint alleges that the plaintiff and her friend were using the product and that the friend inserted it into the plaintiff’s anus. Unfortunately, there was a mismatch between the diameter of the product and the diameter of that bodily orifice, and after an unspecified type of use the plaintiff suffered a catastrophic tear in her perineum.”
Actually, the description of the plaintiff’s injury that the partner gave was quite a bit more graphic than this, but I’m trying to keep this story “clinical,” shall we say.
He then added, “Do you want to know what the failure to warn was?” The question was rhetorical because he immediately continued, “the product was defective because there was no warning on it that it should not be inserted in that orifice.” Again, I’m cleaning up the language.
The partner was quite enthused about the case, and legally there was a sound defense because under the facts and the law there is no duty to warn about a risk that is open and obvious. For example, no one needs to be warned that a knife can cut you if you do not use it with care.
Just before wishing me well in my new career as a corporate lawyer, the partner said that he expected the deposition of the plaintiff would be quite interesting.
It will not surprise you that I was happy to leave this type of legal work behind.
Disclaimer: this is the true story. I could not make it up if I tried, and I am not exaggerating in any way, shape, or form. As this accident happened almost half a century ago I will leave you with the thought that time heals all wounds.
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Snort!
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It should be a slam dunk when the orifice is that open and obvious.
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P – No, nothing has changed on my end, and you are Aces with me. That said, I have never even once gotten the cursed WP reblog thing to work.
I just visited your blog and got an error message.
TG
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A most interesting and well-written story, excellent sir!!!
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Round peg square hole?
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I assume the doctor makes emergency house calls?
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Roadside emergencies also?!
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