H/T Scissorhead BDR
At a virtual all-hands meeting Tuesday, Facebook escalated its attempts to not only rebrand itself but also manage its demoralized and often adversarial workforce with a new set of corporate values derived from a naval slogan.
CEO Mark Zuckerberg, who renamed the company Meta late last year, held up a slide deck showcasing new corporate values: Employees would be expected to first prioritize Meta, followed by a person’s team (metamates), followed by the individual (me). He said that the company’s corporate values would be “Live in the future” and “Be direct and respect your colleagues,” according to three people familiar with the meeting who spoke on the condition of anonymity to describe internal matters. It was previously “Be open.”
Years ago, the company’s slogan of “Move fast and break things” was changed to just “Move fast.” On Tuesday, the company announced it would now be “Move fast together.”
So how did moving fast together go over with the inmates, er, metamates?
The changes to the corporate values were ridiculed by some employees internally, who described them as corporate indoctrination and out of touch, the people said.
Facebook did not immediately have comment.
shocking.
Mock Paper Scissors 
That’s not describing ’employees’ that’s describing the Russian communist party circa 1925: Party over Comrades over Individual.
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In a previous job search I was contacted by a Facebook recruiter. I like getting paid, so I scheduled a phone interview. Facebook did something horrible before the phone call, and on further reflection I cancelled the interview. A few weeks later I was contacted again about scheduling a phone interview. The desire to get paid was a bit more urgent so I scheduled another one. Facebook did something even more evil, so when I talked to the recruiter I told him I didn’t want to ever work for Facebook as I have at least some personal integrity.
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The worst Interview-day story ever is still my friend’s interview with Union Carbide at their HQ in NY, on the day of the Bhopal disaster….it was rescheduled, then the day of, a backhoe driving idiot dug up a buried high-voltage line that took out power to about a third of the county, including them.
ISTR he took the cosmic hint and got a job elsewhere, but this was a long time ago…
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Metamate – That’s a corporate euphemism for cellie.
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Metamate cubie lifers are a hard crew, they eat their Toblerones with stainless steel teeth.
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It sounds like something they spread on toast Down Under.
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I’ve that Facebook has a staff psychatrist on the premises.
Interesting choice because psychologists help people deal with their problems. Psychiatrists medicate them.
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I may have told this story here before, but I used to work next door to Facebook back when they were still in Palo Alto. One day as I was pulling out the parking lot Zuck walked right in front of my car. If I hadn’t stepped on the brakes I would have run him down. I think about that day quite often.
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Missed opportunities are the worst form of retrospection.
Rgds,
TG
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To her dying day my mother-in-law regretted the time she braked for some idiot stepping out into the street without looking first.
Turned out to be (as he was then known) The Donald.
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Actually, I think the name is a typo and should really be “Meat”.
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