Rick Perry Denies Everything (The Stupid Coup, Part Infinity)

The Frosted Tips Twins Takes Out the Trash Rick Perry

We’ve identified another member of the Treason Caucus: Rick Perry

Washington (CNN)Members of the House Select Committee investigating the January 6 attack on the US Capitol believe that former Texas Governor and Trump Energy Secretary Rick Perry was the author of a text message sent to then-White House chief of staff Mark Meadows the day after the 2020 election pushing an “AGRESSIVE (sic) STRATEGY” for three state legislatures to ignore the will of their voters and deliver their states’ electors to Donald Trump, three sources familiar with the House Committee investigation tell CNN.

And of course, the inevitable denial ensues:

A spokesman for Perry told CNN that the former Energy Secretary denies being the author of the text.

And then the confirmation ensues:

Multiple people who know Rick Perry confirmed to CNN that the phone number the committee has associated with that text message is Perry’s number.

The cell phone number the text was sent from, obtained from a source knowledgeable about the investigation, appears in databases as being registered to a James Richard Perry of Texas, the former governor’s full name.

The number is also associated in a second database as registered to a Department of Energy email address associated with Perry when he was secretary.

And the Perry spokesman?

When told of these facts, the spokesman had no explanation.

Now, if I were the Perry spokesperson, I would have gone with the more believable, “An endless numbera monkeys with an endless numbera iPhones would be well into writing The Merchant of Venice before Ole Rick could even figger out how t’ turn th’ damn thang on, y’all know what Ah’m sayin’?”

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5 Responses to Rick Perry Denies Everything (The Stupid Coup, Part Infinity)

  1. sos says:

    Of COURSE Perry’s not the author. He cain’t (sic) spell.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Perry has three explanations: “It’s not his phone, I wuz hacked, and uh, uh, uh”

    Liked by 3 people

  3. roket says:

    He could have blamed one of his aides. Unless, of course, he hasn’t thought of that yet. Oops. My bad. Sorry random aide.


  4. R White says:

    Ricky needs to lose the hipster specs. No is buying the idea that he is anything redeemable but an inbred redneck asshole.


  5. glitterbug says:

    Homina, homina, homina……


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