I’m having a hard time believing that this defense might set Crisis Actor Kyle Rittenhouse free:
…but what do I know? Anyway, we have the element of a Pop Quiz right there!
What Will Kyle Rittenhouse Get?
My answer: A full scholarship to Liberty University!
Answer in the comments, blue-book style, black ink only.
Mock Paper Scissors 
Since this trial is obviously rigged, innocent on all counts. And the jurors will get paid a lot more than $10/day also too.
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A Congressional run by the time he’s 28. If the universe really hates us, a successful run…
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I’m hoping the jurors can see through the histrionics and do the right thing because some kid from another state used deadly force against their fellow citizens, but I won’t be surprised if he goes free…
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The chance to kill again.
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I’d like to think the prosecution was better at choosing jurors and the jury was smart enough to know they’re getting played. Odds are there’s Death Cult members on the panel so mistrial. Conveniently the judge took away the slam dunk conviction on the lesser charge of unlawful possession.
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A brand new AR15!!!!!!!
(which he will use on some other person, and commit yet another murder)
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A brand new AR15 and a personal invitation to the judge’s place for Sunday dinner. And his mom, too, also.
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Judge made sure he can’t be hung on the slam dunk lesser charge of unlawful possession. If prosecutors didn’t weed Death Cultists from the jury he’ll be free to eat spit in his food when he dines out.
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Somebody, somewhere, is already planning to cosplay Rittenhouse with his/her own semi-automatic rifle. Maybe somewhere else in Wisconsin…where they have stanchions for the sheep. Just you wait…you’ll see!
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An actual license to kill. DoubleOhDipshit.
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A lucrative contract to be an NRA spokesman.
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Just remembered this…Dexter’s been rebooted…just sayin…
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A congratulatory tweet from “Liz Harrington.”
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Give him a hnigelsugartits@gmail.comoody, Pepsi and a bag of Skittles and send him jogging through George Zimmerman’s neighborhood.
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Give him a hoody, Pepsi and a bag of Skittles and send him jogging through George Zimmerman’s neighborhood.
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His own show on OAN, and a chance to fight hannity for the honor of blowing TFG, but I repeat myself.
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A speaking spot at the 2024 Republican Convention.
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Absolutely worst case scenario: the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2025.
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If you’re an American citizen you are entitled to:
A heated kidney shaped pool
A microwave oven–don’t watch the food cook
A Dyna-Gym–I’ll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home
A kingsize Titanic unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum
A foolproof plan and an airtight alibi
Real simulated Indian jewelry!
A Gucci shoetree!
A year’s supply of antibiotics
A personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
And Bob Dylan’s new unlisted phone number
A beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick
Rosemary’s baby!
A dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams
A new Matador
A new mastadon
A Maverick
A Mustang
A Montego
A Merc Montclair
A Mark IV
A meteor
A Mercedes
An MG
Or a Malibu?
A Mort Moriarty
A Maserati
A Mac truck
A Mazda
A new Monza
Or a moped
A Winnebago
Hell, a herd of Winnebago’s, we’re giving ’em away
Or how about a McCulloch chainsaw?
A Las Vegas wedding
A Mexican divorce
A solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot
Or
A baby’s arm holding an apple?
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