2024 Goat Rodeo News

Little Marco

Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio, the Cold Warrior for a New Generation, and beloved grandson figure of Wingnuts over the age of 75 and under the age of death, has a unique re-election stratagem:

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) will call for Republicans to break up with Big Business when he addresses the National Conservatism Conference on Monday, Axios has learned…

  • “There would be a lot less craziness in America’s corporations if the people voting their shares were actually firefighters and teachers, rather than their union bosses or Wall Street,” Rubio will say, based on a prepared text of his remarks.
  • “Promising to cut more regulations and corporate taxes will garner the applause of campaign donors and glowing coverage in media outlets focused on the stock market.”
  • “But it leaves millions of hard-working Americans who do not want a ‘woke’ socialist America with no voice in our politics, and no answers to their problems.”

So Republicans want to become economic populists? Is that the message?

Details: Rubio’s speech is titled, “We Need Corporate Patriotism to Defeat American Marxism.”

And that’s when I started to laugh. Guffaw, actually. American Patriotism from Corporate America!

  • He’ll call for a requirement that company boards are committed to U.S. national interest and devoid of conflicts of interest with nations such as China.
  • Rubio will contrast that with what he says are “requirements that companies’ board of directors be sufficiently ‘diverse,’ like what the Biden administration is pushing.”

“We want firefighters and teachers, not union bosses as stockholders, but we don’t the Directors to be, well, you know, THOSE PEOPLE,” Li’l Marco didn’t add.

  • “More challenging,” Rubio is expected to say, “is how to take power away from big institutional shareholders that use regular retirees’ savings to push ‘woke’ policies at corporations by voting in corporate elections on their behalf.”
  • He’ll argue the solution is that institutional shareholders transmit the votes of their clients — like the firefighters and teachers he described — instead of casting votes on their behalf.

And with that Li’l Marco announced he’s running in the 2024 Goat Rodeo.


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2 Responses to 2024 Goat Rodeo News

  1. Yes, because THAT’S what their pension plans need, management by the mob. Next he’ll be tellign everyone that their investements should best be handled by them alone! Because certainly someone who’s a 4th grade teacher has plenty of time to hone a good investment strategery!

    And nothing says commitment to being against socialism than [checks notes] centralized government control of BoD’s…


  2. roket says:

    I am all for republicans abandoning big business and big business abandoning Marco Rubio. I would also like to see Possum Hollar determine the direction of a company instead of the guy who owns 51% of the stock. Whatever it tasks to prevent woke corporations. What could possibly go wrong?


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