Joe Biden
(undated file photo)

President Handsome Joe Biden went onto America’s teevee machines and beamed into everyone household last night, and said (paraphrasing): I gave you mother-eff’ers  eight eff’ing months for you eff’ers  to get your act eff’ing together, you eff’ing didn’t and now I am eff’ing  bringing down the eff’ing hammer: get vaccinated or You’re Fired’ed, eff’ers.

What he actually said:

“We’ve been patient, but our patience is wearing thin, and your refusal has cost all of us.”

President Handsome Joe announced:

1. Invoking the authority of the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, businesses with 100 employees or more (these are not Mom & Pop operations, and gig workers? Well, not so much.) will be required to be vaccinated or regular testing (or both) for their workforces. Such business concerns employ approximately 80 million Americans, or a bit more than half of the U.S. workforce.
2. Federal government employees, and employees of federal contractors, will have to get vaccinated. They have 75 days, and there is no “or else take regular tests” exemption.
3. In an effort to keep schools open, the federal government will cover the salary of any teacher punished for imposing mask mandates, and will require the 300,000 teachers who work for the federal government (Head Start) to be vaccinated.
4. Invoking the Defense Production Act, the administration will accelerate the production of rapid-COVID tests, and will send 25 million of them to free clinics across the U.S.

Additionally, the gubmint will make money available to businesses that have been hurt by the pandemic and Handsome Joe will do everything he can to make available new medicines that can help COVID-19 patients. You might be surprised to learn that doesn’t include horse dewormer.

President Handsome Joe blamed Republican governors saying that “if these governors won’t help us beat the pandemic, I’ll use my power as President to get them out of the way.”

Some reactions from the 2024 Goat Rodeo contenders, er, governors:

• Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis: He’s “trying to force mandates on individuals and businesses.”
• South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem threatened to take Biden to court to halt the mandates.
• Texas Gov. Greg Abbott called Biden’s vaccine mandate a “power grab” and “an assault on private businesses.”

Imma guessing that these three will be directing their AGs to file law suits today to own the Libs, though there is little doubt that Biden has the law on his side and can order these mandates.

Look, about 65% of American Voters are vaccinated, and and 75% have had at least one jab; that is a vast plurality that are already on the side of these mandates. Handsome is betting Americans will back him, so that’s just good politics. We already know that the vaccines are good for public health.

UPDATE 1 – Axios morning email thingie leads with (not making this up and weird formatting is theirs):

America’s civil war of 2021

Top Republicans are calling for a public uprising to protest President Biden’s broad vaccine mandates, eight months after more than 500 people stormed the U.S. Capitol to try to overturn the election.

• Why it matters: It has been decades since America has witnessed such blatant and sustained calls for mass civil disobedience against the U.S. government.

J.D. Vance — author of “Hillbilly Elegy” and a candidate for the GOP U.S. Senate nomination in Ohio — urged “mass civil disobedience” to Biden’s plan to use federal authority to mandate vaccination for roughly two-third of America workers.

• “I have a simple message for America’s business community,” Vance wrote. “DO NOT COMPLY.”

UPDATE 2: South Carolina wants in on the action –

UPDATE 3: Ronna Romney speaks!

UPDATE 4: Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) blames Joe Biden!

The only group of people that has disappointed JOE BIDEN more than the Afghan national army is unvaccinated Americans.

“Our patience is wearing thin,” Biden said last night of the 80 million Americans who haven’t received a shot, “and your refusal has cost all of us.”

We don’t mean to make light of the Taliban takeover or the Covid pandemic, but in both cases Biden has responded to policy failures by placing most of the blame outside the White House…

When press secretary JEN PSAKI was asked about Ivey’s comment on July 23, she responded, “Well, I don’t think our role is to place blame.” A reporter followed up wondering if it was time for vaccine mandates. “That’s not the role of the federal government,” Psaki said.

How many lives could have been saved if it hadn’t taken two more months for Biden to reverse those stubborn views?