America’s Aging Prom Date Marries

Wedding Bells

He’s off the market, ladies!

How convenient: credibly accused sex fiend Matt Gaetz marries, uh, his fiancé, who —in many states— cannot be compelled to testify against her spouse.


The Florida Congressman has eloped, in betweenpushing election lies with Marjorie Taylor Greene and fending off a federal investigation.

Sounds like true love.

Who’s the Luckey bride (see what I did there?): Ginger Luckey, which sounds like a Bond girl name, eloped with Matt Gaetz and avoided the paparazzi (and the criminal beat reporters) on lovely Santa Catalina Island off the coast of California. And as always, an elopement included, uh, Vanity Fair?

The elopement was something of a surprise. The couple had previously planned to get married next August—or so they told me on a sticky summer afternoon late last month, when I met the two in the lobby bar of New York City’s Ace Hotel. Amidst a tornado of scandal for the congressman — the behavior he’s been accused of ranges from gross to potentially illegal and includes, but is not limited to, sex trafficking of a minor; sharing nude photos of women with his colleagues on the House floor; taking a sex-fueled jaunt to the Bahamas; and drug use — I was there to meet Luckey and, their hope was, to expand the public understanding of her beyond “that poor girl marrying Matt Gaetz.”

So you can see that this is not the usual nuptials announcement in the society pages.

So come’on, tell us how he popped the question, bet it was super romantic!

They started seeing each other, and on December 30, after less than a year, Gaetz proposed—at Mar-a-Lago. Before popping the question, Gaetz, cognizant that “you never want to upstage the big guy,” asked Trump for his approval. According to Gaetz, doing a passable Trump impression, the former president said, “You two are a dynamic duo.” When Luckey said yes, Trump sent a bottle of his eponymous Champagne to their table.

No one deserves that.

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12 Responses to America’s Aging Prom Date Marries

  1. He asked Daddy for permission. Ginger, honey, hope you made im sign a prenup or all his troubles are yours now.

    True, you cannot be compelled to testify against him, but you’re on the hook for his criminal fines, now.

    (And note the delicate wording. A spouse cannot be compelled to testify, but in most states there’s restrictions on just this sort of thing…the criminal activities in question have to occur while you’re married )

    Liked by 4 people

  2. skinnydennis says:

    Yeah what Bruce said:

    Tristan Snell
    Dear Matt Gaetz:

    The “spousal privilege” does not cover communications before the marriage. So, yes, Ginger can still be compelled to testify against you.

    Have a great weekend and congrats!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. roket says:

    Damn. Now I have visions of conjugal visits in my head.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. MDavis says:

    “He’s off the market, ladies!”
    No, he’s not.


  5. Ten Bears says:

    Ginger Lucky … ? Aside from the … ahh, cartoonish stereotypical ness, I’m not sure that even qualifies as Bond Villain Girl. Well, ok, early-sixties Bond. Austin Powers. Seriously, am I the only one to see a long con here? I don’t know, an FBI sting? Ginger Lucky, fergoodnesssakes …


  6. Is she pregnant? Was there a shotgun involved?


    • Bruce388 says:

      And if she’s pregnant, that brings up another question — Since she’s out of her teenage years, who’s the father?


  7. pagan in repose says:

    “No one deserves that.”

    Indeed, sir, indeed. Gave me a great Monday AM laugh.


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