As we all know, Lord Damp Nut was a kid who was not invited to many birthday parties, what with being such a dick and whatnot, and who —no doubt— retaliated by shouting with hot tears in his eyes that he didn’t want to go to your stupid birthday party anyway and HIS birthday party was going to be the best ever, and have clowns and ponies and magicians, and 32-flavors of ice cream… and… and… YOU’RE NOT INVITED!
We mention this only because everyone from the 4th Reich except TFG seems to be getting a book deal, and Lord Damp Nut is behaving with his usual flare:
…There have been rumors and a report that Trump is privately angry over Pence’s book deal. But his spokesperson Jason Miller insisted that he was “fine with it” and had “no issues.”
Trump has insisted that he has suitors for a book too. In a statement last Friday, he said he had received two offers “from the most unlikely of publishers” but turned them down because he did “not want to do such a deal right now.”
Book-reviewer and bloggers everywhere are sighing with relief. Anyway, it seemed counter-intuitive that someone as Id-driven as Hair Fùror would turn down anything that burnishes his fragile self, and so Politico went hunting to find these offers:
POLITICO reached out to top publishers and editors at the “Big Five” publishing houses — Penguin Random House, Hachette Book Group, HarperCollins, Macmillan Publishers, and Simon & Schuster — to see if they had heard anything about any such deals Trump had been offered. None of the sources said they had heard about such potential book offers, and most said they wouldn’t touch a Trump project when he does start shopping a book around.
“It doesn’t matter what the upside on a Trump book deal is, the headaches the project would bring would far outweigh the potential in the eyes of a major publisher,” said Keith Urbahn, president and founding partner of Javelin, a literary and creative agency. “Any editor bold enough to acquire the Trump memoir is looking at a fact-checking nightmare, an exodus of other authors, and a staff uprising in the unlikely event they strike a deal with the former president.”
But Lord Damp Nut should feel proud as Ivanka’s husband, whats-his-name, the ungrateful summbitch has been signed to write a book:
Broadside Books, a conservative imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, announced that Kushner’s book will come out in early 2022. Kushner has begun working on the memoir, currently untitled, and is expected to write about everything from the Middle East to criminal justice reform to the pandemic.
“His book will be the definitive, thorough recounting of the administration — and the truth about what happened behind closed doors,” Broadside announced Tuesday.
Financial terms were not disclosed.
We are only speculating, of course, that when Jared’s deal was announced that there was a scream from Merde-a-Lardo that only bats and certain dogs could hear: “AND YOU’RE NOT INVITED!”