News From The Election ‘Audit’ in Arizona

The terrible sand people of the terrible sand kingdom of Arizonastan.

And now an update from the Cyber Ninja “audit” happening now in the Terrible Sand Kingdom of Arizonastan:

¡GASP! you mean that once the Feds said No Voter Intimidation, they backed down?! Say it ain’t so!

The Arizona Senate will hold off on a plan to contact voters as part of a Republican-commissioned election recount that raised concerns from the Justice Department about voter intimidation, state Senate President Karen Fann said Friday.

The head of the department’s civil rights division, Pamela S. Karlan, wrote to Fann (R) on Wednesday suggesting that the recount of nearly 2.1 million ballots in the state’s largest county by a private contractor may not comply with federal law, leaving ballots at “risk of damage or loss.” She also raised questions about the contractor’s stated plans to “identify voter registrations that did not make sense” and interview voters via phone and “physical canvassing.”

The ongoing audit run by Florida-based Cyber Ninjas has been widely criticized as fueling wild theories that fraud and other electoral problems led President Donald Trump to lose the presidential race. Officials in Maricopa County, which went for Joe Biden in November, say the results have been validated repeatedly.

What wild theories?

But Republicans have pressed ahead with a new, highly unusual inquiry that has ranged from scrutinizing ballots under UV lights to seeking traces of bamboo. With Cyber Ninjas, they hired a company whose chief has echoed Trump’s unfounded claims of problems with the 2020 election.

Oh, the bamboo thing! Why everyone knows that Chy-Na has no access to paper, and the UV lights are, uh, REASONS!!1!

The senator laid out conditions for anyone contacting voters: Canvassers would convey that participation is voluntary; would not select people for characteristics such as race or party affiliation; would not carry a weapon; and would not wear or say something implying an affiliation with police, immigration, tax enforcement or the military, among other requirements.

Sweet Jeebus, they are gonna be nekkid at your front door without their guns and MAGA schwag, and no one wants to see that! That much pasty cave-fish white flesh could blind a person!

Former Arizona secretary of state Ken Bennett, the audit’s spokesman, previously told The Washington Post that Cyber Ninjas had not begun interviewing voters and said the company has pledged to do nothing that would constitute intimidation.

“This is a matter between the Arizona Senate and Maricopa County,” he said. “We don’t see any grounds for anyone else to intervene.”

“What we have here,” Bennett didn’t add with a malevolent grin, “is a failure to communicate.”

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7 Responses to News From The Election ‘Audit’ in Arizona

  1. Another Kiwi says:

    It has to say: They won’t be armed.
    Of course they will have to have a security detail with them to protect them from the ravening poors.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sos says:

    “This is a matter between the Arizona Senate and Maricopa County,” he said. “We don’t see any grounds for anyone else to intervene.”

    Except for the whole FEDERAL ELECTION thing, yeah.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. w3ski4me says:

    Outside of our registration, isn’t our vote a private thing?
    I would not take kindly to someone questioning my registration at this point, or especially my actual vote.


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