News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News

(hat tip: Scissorhead Moeman)

Let’s meet Paul Westerman, who was one of the Coup Klux Klan who signed an amicus brief in support of Texas v. Pennsylvania, a lawsuit filed at the United States Supreme Court, which contested the results of the 2020 Goat Rodeo:

The thought of a sword wielding Wingnut perched on the terlet feet off the floor —like a common Freshman smoking in the boys room— waiting for Lord Damp Nut’s Orcs to attack is so 4th Reich, I can hardly stand it.

Karma was working overtime that day.

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11 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Why does Kevin McCarthy, R-Central Valley Farmland have a Civil War display in his office and how many Quatloos are you willing to bet that it’s a Losers Side sword?

    Liked by 2 people

    • E.A. Blair says:

      There are three kinds of metal swords. First there are fencing swords (foil, epee & saber) that do not have sharp edges or points. Then there are show quality swords, which do not have sharp edges and the points are rather dull, so it would take some effort to stab someone effectively, but it can be done. Finally, there are demonstration quality swords, which are sharp and dangerous in the hands of someone who knows how to use them. I have a demonstration quality broadsword that is quite sharp and could be lethal. I once nicked myself and it took fifteen minutes to stop the bleeding. The rest of my swords are all my old fencing gear. I’m willing to bet that McCarthy’s sword is a cheap show quality replica that couldn’t inflict more damage than some painful bruises. It probably wouldn’t have done Rep. Westerman much good against a mob, but it might have made him feel safer. Even if it is a genuine relic, it probably hasn’t been maintained well enough to be of demo quality.

      Fencing is the perfect lockdown sport; you wear a mask and gloves, and if someone gets too close, you stab them.

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      • Sirius Lunacy says:

        Although, it would have been great footage if we’d ended up with video of Westerman using a replica Confederate sword to defend himself from being pummeled by a flagpole carrying the Confederate battle flag.

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  2. spotthedog says:

    May we suppose the situation scared the shit out of him?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Why must everyone laugh at my mighty sword?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. roket says:

    They can hide from the monster they created all they want but it will still eventually kill them. It’s destiny. No escaping that for them.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Ten Bears says:

    This stinks of plausible deniability. Why didn’t it go with McCarthy? Why did it stay?

    I think we’ve found the retard mole …

    Liked by 2 people

  6. sos says:

    I’m sure his constituents back in Possum Hole Ark. are both relieved and puzzled that he didn’t stab himself.

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  7. HarpoSnarx says:

    He failed his Lutz training. Spinning that woe begone tale of hiding from the patriots (cough: hairball) could have been twisted into a nebulous, unverifiable though heroic tale of an antifa encounter gone right. Ah such times.

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  8. spotthedog says:

    Now I got this imagined movie segment playing in my head; middle aged out-of-shape white male GQP congress person holed up in Capitol office bathroom squatting in silent terror over a toilet in a closed stall while un-confidently gripping a civil war sword, desperately trying to keep his panic-induced business as quiet as possible. A proud boy type bursts in to the bathroom and begins violently banging on the stall door. In spontaneous terrorized reflex the squatter launches himself out the door, ignoring the fact that his pants are around his ankles and while trying to manipulate the sword in defensive/attack posture and simultaneously collapsing forward over his tangled feet, he impales himself on the sword, the blade pokes through his back, the final casualty of the Civil War! Would make a fine statue for Arkansas IMO.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Bruce388 says:

    It was nice of McCarthy to leave Westerman as a potential sacrifice to the insurrectionists.

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