H/T Scissorhead Bruce388
Just guessing Derek Chauvin is chocking on Ol’ Scratch’s cob right about now.
A guy starts choking on his food in a restaurant.
A doctor sees the man choking and springs into action. He runs across the restaurant, pulls the man out of his chair, pulls the man’s pants down, and licks his butt. The man coughs hard, and the food is dislodged from his throat.
Grateful, he turns to doctor and says, “Thank God you knew the Hind Lick Maneuver!”
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“..push the Devil’s doorbell, smoke the Devil Lettuce, sell your soul at midnight, standing at the crossroad, under a Blue Moon…it all garners you the same, in this Game of Life.
Imma guessing that that is somewhere in flatland USA (googlegooglegoogle yup Ala-damn-Bama) ; one would think they know how to eat corn there. Gotta do it real wrong if you’re choking on a cob as a result…
(Unless it’s a sex thing, and it might be, those baptists are REALLY twisted mofos…)
In the Free Will Baptist Church, you have free will as long as you do what you’re told.
Beat me too it ~ only Eiron could come up with that oxymoron
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Okay I’ll skip the corn, how about the Devil’s barbeque, bet that’s pretty good.
No red meat!
No red meat?!, Hell!
We can generally count on the Christian tradition to come up with pretty good aphorisms. They have a vast common text, thousands of characters who did every weird possible thing, and an audience ready to construe words broadly or narrowly as the case requires to confirm their pre-existing biases and ideas. But this one makes no fucking sense.
Does the Devil give you corn then make you eat the cob? Is that a metaphor for something (other than knob-gobbling, I mean)?
Are you so hungry (or greedy) that you try to eat the corn cob and all?
Is it a reasonable analogy to the standard Devil-bargaining that you have to eat the bad with the good or that you have to eat the container with the pudding or that you have to eat the chaff with the grain or whatever?
My Kentucky poor great grandparents used to joke about corncobs which were apparently used in the outhouse for certain unspeakable purposes. Is this saying relying on that cultural artifact? I actually know about the corncob thing, and I went to a lot of Sunday school, and I got nothing.
I know the Devil’s Corn is a thing, but it’s a fungal eruption on corncobs that is actually considered a delicacy in some places (and is called ‘corn smut’). I’m not sure if all of it is edible, but I have a hard time believing that the sign is a Levitican injunction that arose for health reasons.
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