H/T Scissorhead Dennis Cole

OK, Scissorheads, the Matt Gaetz jokes are coming in fast and furious, and it is time for us to collect them.

I’ll start it off with a scene I wrote last night:

[Scene: Matt walks into his apartment to see his girlfriend wildly throwing her things in a suitcase, furious angry. ]

Matt: What’s going on? Why are you leaving?

GF [screaming]: I just heard on the news that you are accused of being a pedophile!

Matt: Where’d you hear that? That’s a pretty big word for a freshman!

[End Scene]

It went over like a fart in church with my friends, so I know I struck a home run.

In the comments, 2-drink minimum.

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9 Responses to OPEN MIC!

  1. ali redford says:

    DH and I enjoyed both the scene and the meme. And thanks for the drinks! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Steve-O says:

    Why did Matt Gaetz cross the road?
    To get to the high school on the other side.

    Friend of mine is workshopping this one.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. spotthedog says:

    Last night Gaetz and his date enjoyed a romantic dinner at a local restaurant, in celebration of the removal of her braces. They lingered a little longer than expected as he let her play with the toy that came with her meal.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Jimmy T says:

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Charles says:

    What does Gaetz do before going to work? He drives his girlfriend to daycare.


  6. vertalio says:

    Stop being so mean.
    His Doctor has confimed that Rep. Gaetz is, in fact, allergic to menstrual blood.


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